Getting Pregnant
TheMadHatter93
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Do we wait or go for it?
We married young - at 21 and 23. Babies were never a priority when we got married but during the 5 years that we've been together while dating, it was certainly something we both wanted. There were a couple of times before marriage where we both wanted to toss the birth control and just have a baby - but cooler minds prevailed and there have been no pregnancies.
The first time I was asked the burning question was during the wedding - my instant response was that we had no immediate plans and plenty of time before kids would be in the picture. It has only been a few months now and we've had a couple of serious discussions about wanting to start trying for a baby. There are a number of cons, but of course there will always be cons, but we know that if I did get pregnant that we'd be able to make it work.
Our worries involve money as we live paycheque to paycheque with a small savings, me needing to save up to be off of work, my husband transitioning into the responsibilities of a stay at home dad and a couple of my health issues. We hope that these issues can all be addressed within the next year - it gives us time to save, tweak our budget, him to get into at home routine and for myself to get healthier and wean off my blood pressure medication.
The timeline we have established involved me weaning off my blood pressure meds late next summer, dumping the birth control medication in September and then beginning to try in October. At this point we'll have been married for just over a year. Hopefully by the time we get pregnant we'll be 23 and 25 - I feel that is a responsible age to be bringing a child into the world.
My doubts occur after trying to have discussions with family and friends about their experiences and thoughts - only my MIL was excited and supportive - everyone else was taking a stance of "you are far too young", "you can't afford it" and "there is no rush" and telling us that we'd be making a mistake and should wait many more years to even consider getting pregnant.
I was just wondering what your experiences were in regards to starting a young family - I know that there is no rush but we feel we're going to be soon ready to have a baby and that there is no huge red flag telling us to wait. I also don't want to wait to only find out we're going to have troubles conceiving and have it take longer than expected.
Re: Do we wait or go for it?
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermBaby Boy born 5.3.15
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
TTC#2 4/14
A Parachute in an Oak Tree: A World of Love
Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter
TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermI am only kind of kidding.
Having a kid is tough(!) even in the best circumstances.
I have a great DH, we both graduated from university, have stable jobs, own a home, etc.
I had a bit of a rough PG (high risk) and our son cried for his first 4 months of life (unless he was sleeping - and he didn't sleep much!).
It's hard.
If I were you - I would hold off. JMO - I wouldn't have wanted to have a kiddo at 23 or 25. Again, JMO.
I think sometimes it's tough when you are living life and think "what's next?!" After the wedding, And often you think "baby!". Well, sometimes what's next is an exciting vacation, a challenging job change, a move, buying a house. I would do some of those things first.
Again, this is all JMO. You should have a kiddo if both you and your DH think you want to, that's great.
I would really try to examine your feelings to see if what you are wanting is something exciting you can plan for or a baby specifically.
I would definitely talk to an OB about your meds and current situation to come up with a TTC plan about 6 months before you actually want to TTC. There may be things you don't know/aren't considering about your medical situation.
I didn't have a medical situation until I became PG an being pg created one - it is physically taxing for sure.
Good luck to you - what every you decide!
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
My sister got married young - she was 22, and they waited until her H had a good job, good insurance, and had bought a house (of course buying a house isn't required - it was just what they wanted), and had her son at 24, and her daughter at 27. She's a great mom and I'm pretty sure she doesn't regret having kids at a young age. I didn't get married until I was 29, and we started TTC later that year - 2 pregnancy losses and one healthy baby later, I'm nearly 34 and I wish I had met my husband/gotten married much earlier, because I'll be 35 if we have another baby - I always wanted to be a young mother.
The first year with a baby is HARD. Not just emotionally and physically, but on your marriage. The dynamic in your house changes. I thought we had managed to escape it, but we didn't. Eight months PP, I had to go on anxiety meds because my husband's anxiety made me have anxiety and I was irritable and angry at him and the baby.
Our marriage went through a lot while TTC - our first pregnancy we found out at 19 weeks that our daughter had severe heart defects with poor prognosis and we chose to end our pregnancy. It was the most difficult day of my life (surpassing the day my dad died), and Adam was my rock, during diagnosis, throughout testing, and then at the end. It made us stronger, and we can still talk about her to this day. Then we had a miscarriage a few months later. Your marriage has to be strong, you need to have the same ideals, ie; will you pursue infertility treatment should that happen, what if you have a child with developmental problems, congenital abnormalities....you need to figure out what you will do together.
I think in terms of things being not what I expected them to be or whatever, there wasn't much. A baby is a baby. You know you're not going to sleep well the first few months. Breastfeeding was a challenge and we ended up formula feeding because I couldn't produce. Cloth diapering wasn't all I had wanted it to be so I switched to sposies. Things that could be changed. If you feel you're ready for a baby, then you're ready. A baby does change everything. But once they're here, you change your life for them, and 99% of people don't look back. You live for your children. You love them more than your spouse.
I know I'm in the minority here, but we didn't have a huge savings account, and there are times we are just waiting for the next paycheck when big expenses hit. But we're making it work and we have enough to make us happy and take care of everyone in the house (dog and 2 cats included).
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."