Money Matters
vlagrl29
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
NMMR - family and FB
I'm going to try and keep this in a nut shell. I haven't seen my dad's side of the family in 20 years. My dad and his mom got into a crazy spat and haven't spoken since. My grandma tried to see me when I was in high school/college around my mom and dad's back - showing up to my work, concerts, graduation, etc. That always pissed them off because apparently she should have made it right with my dad so she could see me. So basically I've only really grown up with my mom's side of the family and are much closer with them.
Fast forward almost 2 years ago when I started a yoga studio. One of my dad's brothers wife's goes to the studio too. I ran into her and my uncle and we have had a casual friendly relationship since. I like it the way it is honestly. She friended me on FB because I think she saw me on my yoga teacher's friend list. Also my dad's brother friended me. No problem, I have no issues with that. Then my dad's other brother's wife friended me last week again I have no problem with that. Now tonight my dad's sister friended me and I get a not so good feeling in my gut about it. See the drama in that part of the family is with my dad's mom and sister. I know for a fact my dad REALLY doesn't like his sister and mom. I hate drama, truly I do. I'm getting the feeling like they are trying to get me to go to the christmas and new years parties and I know if my parents found out shit would go down like there was no tomorrow. Honestly I don't really feel the need to see these people because they did nothing but start drama (just the mom and sister). I have no problem however with the 2 brothers and their wives. I'm starting to regret that I even friended the first relative because of all this.
I don't know what I should do. I just had to get this off my chest and I know you guys aren't snarky. I was only 14 when all this stuff happened and really don't know all the tiny details about what went down. I do know my dad tried to make it right with his mom and she said she didn't have a son, like he didn't exist. I also don't feel like I shouldn't see this side of the family because of my parents - I am an adult and can choose what to do in life. I'm just picky about who I let in my small little friend world. Should I just unfriend the 3? Damn FB, making everything confusing.
Re: NMMR - family and FB
Put aside all fears of drama, and ask yourself what YOU really want to do in this situation.
Do you genuinely feel like your dad's sister and mother are bad people that don't need to be in your life? If so, don't add them on Facebook and keep them out of your life. If they get mad about you unfriending them, so what? If you don't want them in your life, then it doesn't really matter anyway.
On the other hand, do you want to give your dad's sister and mother a chance? Give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe your dad might be the one who is blowing it out of proportion? If so, then I think you should stay friends with them on Facebook and establish the relationship that you want with them.
Don't let other people control your relationships. If you want a relationship with your grandmother and aunt, then your dad needs to respect that. If you do not want a relationship with your grandmother and aunt, then everyone else needs to respect that too. If anyone has a problem with your decision then you can say, "I am an adult, and I have decided that I want Y to be in (or not be in) my life. This decision will not affect my relationship with you, so I hope that you will respect it."
For the other three, you could always put them on a limited list so they don't see everything you post (especially family events).