Guilt/Loaning Money/Lying?

Re: Guilt/Loaning Money/Lying?

• Erikan73 member

  

  January 2015

  What's done is done, is there anything to be gained by telling your sister at this point? Now if you don't already know the reason the friend needed the help, maybe talk to your BIL about it. If there is a possible issue with gambling, drinking or drugs, the wife of the friend who you loaned the money to needs to know about that then. Be honest & tell her you weren't aware of the reason he needed the money until recently. Also do you know 100% that the money went to the friend and your BIL didn't make up that store because he has issues that you may not be aware of. Which is why he wouldn't want you saying anything to your sister or the friends wife. I would be more concerned about that part.

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• brightdotc newb

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  Yes, I deposited the money directly into his friend's account. I've just been completely uneasy ever since. It hurts me to think he may be hiding other things from her. She is my family and though at the time I didn't feel it was that big of a deal. I started to realize that now we are both hiding things and I'm starting to suspect every little thing I hear from him.
  

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• puppylove2014 member

  

  January 2015

  You got your money back. Let it go and don't do something like that again.

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• TarponMonoxide member

  

  January 2015 edited January 2015

  brightdotc said:

  Over a year ago, my brother in law asked me to borrow $2k to help out a friend. The friend is someone I know and he use to live with my brother in law and my sister.
  

  I dunno about you, but If John Doe says "it is for a friend" the thing usually winds up to be for Johnny Himself, not his or her friend.
  
  It means nothing to me that that money went to his friend's account. the 2 of them are probalby up to some kind of monkey business.
  
  And if this "friend" needs money so badly, let him go to his credit union, his own bank or get a part time job to pay for whatever it is....if, that is, this was on the up and up.

  I would have refused, simply because I am nobody's personal bank or credit union. If you do not see a repay on that money, you can take it to small claims court but if you have no receipt or agreement, it's his word against yours and vice versa. That can come to no good end.
  

  Consider also that once the bank doors are open and the vault is clearly accesible , that person will be asking for more and more cash in the future.
  

  
  

  My sister did not want to get involved in the situation, so my brother in law asked me for the loan and to not let my sister know.
  

  Your BIL can go take a shit in his hat. WOW -- what a thing to do to a wife!
  

  He told me that his friend was having family issues and that his friend's wife would also not know about the loan.
  
  This money HAS to be for your BIL, not his friend. Forget it.
  
  At the time I didn't think it was a big deal, but after seeing length my brother in law was trying to hide it. It makes me feel that I am keeping something from my sister. I told myself that I wasn't lying to her, and that if she asked, I would tell her. Unfortunately, now, it also makes me distrust my brother in law a little and am a bit suspicious and wonder what else he could be hiding from my sister. I also had to remind him multiple times for repayment, but received it back 6 months ago.
  
  Uh huh...and you had to bug him for the money.
  

  I know now that I should not have involved myself but its too late and I feel uneasy now. Now I wonder if he's hiding anything else from her. Shouldn't a husband and wife talk things out and compromise and not go behind each other's backs?
  

  Yes they should and I am surprised your boyfriend didn't rethink YOU after this mess.
  

  My boyfriend thinks I might just be turning this situation into a bigger deal and that also my brother in law handled the situation poorly and should have talked to my sister. I can't help but feel like I'm hiding something from her, even though I did nothing wrong.
  
  Any advice on what I should do?

  You did plenty wrong:
  
  You aided and abetted your BIL --- and sure as eggs is eggs he is up to something fishy. You never should have said yes to him.
  
  In the future, no more loans to anyone, for whatever reason it is. Say NO.
  

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• brightdotc newb

  

  January 2015

  I WON'T ever do it again. I learned my lesson and regret it.
  
  I need advice whether now I should tell my sister.
  

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• BlueBirdMB member

  

  January 2015

  I think you need to talk to BIL and find out why the friend needed the money before talking to your sister. 

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• puppylove2014 member

  

  January 2015

  Why do you want to tell your sister and what do you want to tell her?

  
  

  Questioning everything he does and tells you seems pretty far fetched. It seems there is maybe something concrete you suspect him of? 

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• VOR member

  

  January 2015

  Sit down and shut up. You involvedd yourself, that's on you. Don't involve yourself in their marriage. YOU say a couple shouldn't have secrets, and while I agree- their marriage isn't YOURs or MINE. STAY OUT OF IT. Does this mean he's hiding other stuff? Maybe. OR maybe NOT. He may really have only been desperate to help his friend. DOn't read into this and then insert yourself into their marriage.

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• Disneygeek77 member

  

  January 2015

  I mean maybe if it happens again, you can say something, but until then I wouldn't. 

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