Married Life
Birthday231
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Can't take it anymore (rant)
My husband was working full time with a company for about 6 years when he was laid off in September 2013. He finished grad school in December 2013. He has been unemployed this whole time; no real prospect, not one single interview. He says he is looking and will get a job... but here we are going on a year and a half. He brings in no income. His unemployment only lasted the first 6 months. I work full time and we have a young daughter. I still do half if not most of the household duties and he doesn't even watch her a twice a week when she goes to daycare (because I want her to socialize and learn).
I honestly feel stuck. I feel as nothing will change. I understand my husband does not want to settle on a job because he has a Master's degree, but he literally spends his days playing video games and doing some household chores. I respect families that decide to have a stay at home parent, but that was never what we planned or agreed on.
Sorry for my broken rant.. I am just feeling so fed up (and we just got a debt collection letter for one of his grad school loans which we already utilized the forbearance on)...
Thoughts, advice, good vibes and prayers... everything is welcome 
Re: Can't take it anymore (rant)
AND he needs to get a job. Who the F cares if it's "settling"? Being unemployed and playing video games isn't settling??? He can get out there and find something, anything, just to bring in some extra $$. And really- I think it will show up better on a resume to show that he was doing SOMETHING with his time, making an effort to be a productive member of society.
I've seen it more than a few times and all the same story: H got laid off and hasn't made a lot of effort to find a job and meanwhile the wife is pulling the load. The H is home all day, doesn't do things like general housework, etc.
In the meanwhile:
Cut back on unneccesary expenses --- skip the childcare and do as the PP suggested.
The job market still stinks. Things like a retail job and restaurant work used to be easily obtianed -- not anymore. You can't stop in to a store's/restaurant's HR department and complete an app; everything is done on line and there is also a psychological profile attached to the process. If you don'tcome up to snuff with that profile, they won't call you for an interview.
Lots of people used to used those jobs as survivalist jobs --- if you can find one, great.
There has to be something he can do. Even if it is warehouse work or work as a temp --- he could be a file clerk or a receptionist or something office where not much experience is needed.
I just wanted to throw out my sympathies and understanding. I'm going to rant with you. My husband lost his job one month after we got married
, which was over 18 months ago. It sucks big time, especially considering he makes substantially more money than me when he works. He does look for work and has gone on interviews, but nothing has panned out yet. Though I do feel he doesn't look as hard as he should.
He isn't completely idle. We have a list of projects for our house and he has helped a lot with that...but not nearly as much as he should have considering how long its been. He also helps me with a flexible, independent part-time job I have. But, overall, I know he spends most of his time doing nothing and that does get extremely annoying.
On the good side, I make enough money to easily support us. But I'm on a plan to buy enough rental property to (hopefully) retire in 10-15 years and him getting a job would shave years off that timeline. It's just so frustrating to be the only one bringing in any income and be the only one planning for our financial future.
@simplyelise makes a good point. For my DH, I have to tread a bit lightly with asking him about his job searching efforts because I know he feels bad and a bit of a failure about it, and I also know that when he feels depressed he becomes especially unmotivated.