2nd baby shower

mana8503 · January 2015

Background - this is my 2nd cousin's wife in NC. They have a 2 year old girl, and is pregnant with another girl. I saw on FB where she was selling her girl stuff a few months ago because she was convinced this was a boy... nope she's having a girl.

I get an event invite on FB for his baby shower, for her second daughter.... 2 years apart. I kind of rolled my eyes for those reasons, and because obviously I'm not going to drive to NC just for her shower. So it feels very gift grabby to me - "oh you're invited, can't come, just send a gift!"

She's the only one posting on the event not the "hostesses". Oh oh oh and there's a diaper raffle! "The bigger the box, the bigger the gift card!" She's registered at 3 places, so I snoop. 90 items, 75 items and 20. I didn't even register for that many things for my first kid! Included are 3 rnp, a swing, 2 high chairs, a daybed and pull ups. The last two I'm assuming for the first daughter.

Now, she posts on the event that some were concerned the party is on super bowl Sunday. She really didn't think this was a problem since it was earlier and she didn't think people needed ALL day to prepare for a stupid football game. But, the date is changed. PS don't forget the diaper raffle!!!

Can't side eye any harder

minionlover · January 2015

Wow!! I do understand second showers in some cases but this is not one of them. Why should people have to replace stuff that you stupidly sold? And what is this diaper raffle? "The bigger the box the bigge the gift card"? Does that mean if I bring a small box I'm still getting a gift card? Why not just spend money on diapers for yourself instead of gift cards for other people?

And she's calling the Super Bowl stupid....

xxjen015 · January 2015

I would throat punch her.

mana8503 · January 2015

I guess if you bring a box of diapers your name gets put in a raffle. I'm taking it as there's different drawings based on how big the pack you bring. Big pack gets out in for a large gc prize. And I doubt she's covering the cost of gc, it's probably his mom or gma (my cousin and aunt).

And way to offend your guests calling the super bowl stupid! Obviously, some don't think it's stupid.

LDubHawksFan · January 2015

My eyes couldn't be rolled further in my head right now. Eww

consciousdear88 · January 2015

Wow. I'm a bit shocked that anyone would think this sort of behavior is okay. I had a whole rant typed up, but I may have held back and deleted it out of attempts at politeness.

mrshall1027 · January 2015

Wow! I was questioning having a baby shower since H already has two of his own, I can't imagine having a second one, especially for the same sex.

As for the diaper raffle, I've seen that a lot on pinterest, but never the "bigger the box" thing. One of my friends that is helping my mom with the shower suggested doing a diaper raffle. I thought it was a fun, elective idea, but should we skip it?

mana8503 · January 2015

@mrshall1027 - I see a baby shower as welcoming a new mom into motherhood, and you deserve that even if you've been a step mom!

Also, I see Diaper raffles are like dollar dances at weddings. Some places is fine. What makes me side eye hers is 1. She's promoting it 2. She has her dd1 sizes in her registry. Not just the baby. 3. She's trying to get big boxes by saying you'll get a bigger prize if you bring a box vs a pack.

mpjf1001 · January 2015

I rolled my eyes at the whole second shower thing. I see people having "sprinkles" for second babies if the baby is 1- a different sex and/or 2-there is a significant amount of time b/t children. I wouldnt roll my eyes if it was being given as a surprise and the pregnant person didnt know and therefore wasnt being gift grabby.

My sister did a diaper/wipes raffle at my shower. She inserted a cute poem in the invite saying something like "A pack of diapers for lil ole me would really help mommy and daddy to be. So please bring a pack other than newborn size and have a chance to win a nice prize"

So if anyone brought a pack of wipes or diapers their name was entered into the raffle and at the end I picked a name and that person won a GC to wherever the host (my sister) bought it for. It was a great idea as I had diapers in different sizes for months after the baby was born, if i needed a different size and didnt have it I would just have H go to the store and exchange.

No one was obligated to bring it, it was if they wanted to be a part of the raffle.

She also added an insert for people to bring a book instead of a card, DD ended up with tons of books! Again it was an option not a demand and if i get an invite like this i usually account for the diapers and/or book in the total cost of what i am spending and it also depends on the person whose shower it is and the x amount of $ i want to shell out.

@mrshall1027, you should def have a shower, you are a first time mom:)

catwine · January 2015

I have mixed feelings about this. All my cousins had multiple showers for their babies and I refused to go. They seemed all gift grabby, since they were having another child of the same gender.

I think if someone is having their first child, or is the one they are having is a different gender than the first they could have a shower. But this is coming from someone who has never been to a baby shower so my opinions are kind of invalid.

ramstein1027 · January 2015

There are different levels of side-eye, and this one shot all the way up to Prince Level, the sassiest and highest of all the side-eyes.

mana8503 · January 2015

ramstein1027 said:

There are different levels of side-eye, and this one shot all the way up to Prince Level, the sassiest and highest of all the side-eyes.

This is why I had to share! I couldn't hold it in any longer.... I couldn't side eye any harder either... needed help!

mana8503 · January 2015

There are definitely exceptions to the 2nd baby shower rule in my book... but when it's this gift grabby and mostly because of stupidity, NO, just no.

Plus, I seriously can't give to every new baby in my family. I think our last count was 24 grand kids (counting me), 40 great grandkids and this is 3rd great great grandkids. This is just my dad's side! My mom is 8 of 8 kids and I don't even know the numbers. I was going to make a hat or something if I had time and sent down, but after the super bowl comment - nope.

islandmonkey8 · January 2015

Sprinkles or surprise showers are one thing, especially for a different sex or years and years of age difference. No matter what - 3 registries for baby 2.0??? NO!

goatlady12 · January 2015

I think I strained my eyes because I rolled them so hard.

The only small defense I would say is that I added a bunch of crap to my registry for the discount when it was closed out. However, I added them AFTER my showers. I understand adding things for your first child for the discount, but it shouldn't be added before your shower...

sjs1013 · January 2015

That is disgusting. Anyone who gives her gifts are fools. I do not believe in second showers or sprinkles, regardless of how much time has passed since the previous child. You are having a baby, you don't need a second shower to get gifts. People love babies and will buy you gifts. Even if the shower is planned by someone else, surprise or not, it is still gift grabby.

@mrshall1027 Your situation is totally different. You did not have children with your husband, I doubt his ex wife is sharing baby gear with you from the girls. You are a first time mom and 100% deserve the shower!

xxjen015 · January 2015

What kills me about reading this is that there was a woman in my cardio dance class (everyone there loves her, apparently, I was a social outsider in there kinda) and I'm sure they threw it for her, but she had a shower for her 8th baby. In 10 years. No duplicates.I think she had what she needed, even if it was thrown by someone else.

mana8503 · January 2015

@xxjen015 - I'd just feel sorry for any woman to basically be pregnant fit the last decade!

Update - she's trying to seek sell her high chair in fb. I'm going to have to registry stalk to see if someone got her a new one. I'm happy with my decision to not send a thing.

**edit because I need to stop posting at 1am...

catwine · January 2015

xxjen015 said:

What kills me about reading this is that there was a woman in my cardio dance class (everyone there loves her, apparently, I was a social outsider in there kinda) and I'm sure they threw it for her, but she had a shower for her 8th baby. In 10 years. No duplicates.I think she had what she needed, even if it was thrown by someone else.

I have to say that if I ever get pregnant, I am 100% confident that I'd be thrown more than 1 shower per pregnancy. My mom and her friends love celebrating and my MIL would want me to have all new things for a second baby. I know they would throw the showers as a social event, instead of a gift grabby one. If someone else was throwing your class mate's shower I think they did it because they are happy for her and just want to celebrate. When my cousins had their multiple showers for the same gender baby I gave that the side eye because they hosted their own shower.

2nd baby shower

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