Getting Pregnant
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Anyone else in the same boat? My husband and I are both 30 and he's just becoming established in a new career. I am established in mine, but we are planning a cross-country move later this year for his job. I have a good chance of being able to transfer to my company's location out there, but it's not 100%. I know that getting an MFA will lead me to a better salary and better benefits to support a family down the road, but knowing I'll be 33 when I finish grad school is a bit daunting. I also realize that getting the degree doesn't guarantee a job right away. 33 is a little older than I wanted to be when we start trying, but I can't imagine doing grad school while pregnant. I definitely will get the MFA at some point, but it's whether to do it before or after babies. Anyone been through this? I'm curious to hear insight from others!
Re: MFA or Babies?
Baby Boy born 5.3.15
I'm currently 27, and I will have just turned 28 when we start trying. I have PCOS and DH has a varicocele. It may not cause fertility issues for us, but we are well aware that it might. I wanted to wait until I had been established in a job before we start TTC. Ultimately, only you and your DH can decide when the time is right for y'all!
Baby Boy born 5.3.15
You've heard what I've done, not what I've been through.
If you were in my shoes, you'd fall the first step."
DE IVF ER - 12/2/2016 (17R/10F = 8 frosties); FET 1.0 (1/27/2017) - BFP 6dp5dt (EDD 10/16/2017)
One kid at 33/34 is fine/doable.
But now you add in wanting a second, a couple years in between and maybe 6 months - 1 year TTC, well now you're 37/38 for the second, which isn't unheard of, but is toward the end of your fertility and higher risk for some issues (both pg issues and issues with the kiddo).
And no real time for a third kid (if that was something you wanted).
I know that of which I speak. I am turning 34 this year and I have a 17 month old.
If we want to have a second, we have to figure it out in the next couple years.
Base on what I think we can handle (money and time wise) I might be 36/37 if/when we have a second (if we are even successful), which honestly is older than I would prefer to be. I would prefer to be under 35, but that's just me.
The other question I had was in regard to the MFA. I don't know what you do or what you want to do once you have the MFA, but not all masters degrees actually mean you will have more job opportunities and/or make more money. Sometimes (especially if you are doing student loans and/or attending an expensive school) it doesn't pay off (financially). So I would weigh the risks heavily.
I would definitely wait until you have moved and settled down before TTC. I would not want to try to move while pg (for a variety of reasons).
When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.
Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013