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Need advice

So while working at my part-time job, I keep bumping into an old friend because she shops at the store I work at....we used to be neighbors and close friends back in middle/maybe early high school but she always attended a private school. Her family moved to a different neighborhood in the same town and we stayed in touch and used to still visit each other to hang out (this was before I was 16 because I remember our parents always had to drive us to hang out). Anyway I went off to college and lost touch and now we are both married and she just had her second kid while I have none. The first time I saw her we exchanged numbers and talked about getting together to catch up which is all fine and dandy but hasn't happened yet...her latest child was born in the summer/fall so I know that's very time consuming in the beginning

So anyway, when I saw her this past weekend she mentioned inviting me to her oldest kids (2 yrs old maybe?) birthday party that is going to be at her parents house in March sometime and that she would text me all the info....I just basically said ok and left....now hopefully this doesn't come off rude but I'm not sure how I'm wanting this "relationship" to go from here. I really don't want to start getting invited to all these kid  birthday parties and events where I have to spend money on her family that I haven't met yet..it's just weird! I had something like this happen in the past with her..it was when she graduated from her private high school and I can't remember how it happened but I may have bumped into her or her family once then all of a sudden I get this invite to attend the graduation party at her parents house and end up having to get a gift when I haven't seen this person in years so I went to the party and didn't know ANYONE except for her immediate family and just felt so lost and wondered how I got myself into this. I hardly knew who she was anymore and that really was the last we had talked until now....so I guess maybe this is all coming off to me as someone who may just be looking for gifts I mean why all of a sudden invite me to your kids b-day party when I've only seen you like 3 times in the last few months for all of 10 minutes...maybe it's her way of breaking the ice a bit but it's just weird...or maybe it's me but I'm just annoyed and am already looking to get out of it.....I do have social anxiety issues sometimes but I don't think that this is the case here because I know it will be all her family and can catch up, I just don't want to keep getting sucked into these kiddie events I think I honestly just don't want to spend the money even though I know it doesn't have to be expensive. I know I probably sound like a sh*t friend but this is just me. I'm very happy and comfortable in my little bubble with our close family and friends now.....just let me know your thoughts on my crazy self but be kind

:(

Re: Need advice

  • I don't blame you.

    She may have just been making small talk and her kid's birthday party was what was on her mind.  If she does end up inviting you, I would probably be "busy" that day.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Agreed, I'm just not ready to be thrown into something like that...thanks guys
  • Gee darn, it's a shame you couldn't get the day off from work, but like PP said then maybe you can get together for coffee. Offer to bring it to a park where you can talk while her child plays in the playground or maybe to her home as to make it so she doesn't have to worry about childcare. If she doesn't take you up on it, well that kind of tells you where things are going. But if she does, it could be a nice thing.

     

  • I'm with them...that would feel "off" to me too.  
  • I wouldn't go, especially because I get anxious and weird in social situations where I don't know everyone.  It may just be that she gets into celebrations, not necessarily that she is gift grabby (did you go to any wedding, showers etc?)  But the only way to find out is to invite her for something else and see what happens.  Love @Erikan73's idea to offer to do it at a playground or somewhere else children can be
  • I would also pass on this. Whenever the party is, say you're busy! Play date at the park is a good idea though. Or offer to go to her place and bring coffee or tea or something.
  • I have to agree. As much as I love kids parties this whole situation is odd. Say you are busy and try and catch up with her some other time.

    Don't shut her out over being happy with your current relationships. It could wind up being something really great! Nothing wrong with giving it a try.

    Anniversary
    Love: March 2010   Marriage: July 2013   Debt Free: October 2014   TTC: May 2015
  • Thanks for the advice and ideas! I would love to get together with her and get to know her family just not at a b-day party....I like the park or coffee idea so that would be a good place to start.


    And no, I knew nothing about her wedding or other wedding related parties so that wasn't an issue either.

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