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MrsT4433
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Never-ending "borrowers" (rant - sorry)
Does anyone else have that one person in their life that is constantly asking for things? I have a neighbor that is driving me to insanity. She moved in 2 years ago, we started hanging out and it seemed like a pretty good friendship at first. Lately, though, I'm feeling like she's really using me, and it's hard not to resent her for it. over the past year, she's at my door, several times a week, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, asking for things ranging from a couple eggs, to borrowing my husband's power tools, or asking me to drive her kids places. We've come to realize that anything we "loan" will not be returned unless we are super insistent, and ask repeatedly. Some mutual friends rented a cabin with them over the summer, and came home from the trip saying our neighbors didn't pay their half of the cabin fee, and their three kids ate all the food. We were invited over for pizza once, agreed to pick up the pizza, and were never reimbursed, leaving hubs and I responsible for feeding ourselves and their family of 5.
Against my better judgement, I signed up to split a year-long membership to a CSA (farm fresh produce co-op) with my neighbor, because larger shares are much more affordable than a two-person share. Now I have the joy of asking her to pay her half of the subscription fee each month, and telling her I can't cover her half of the payments because she "forgot to set aside money". She always pays up in the end, but it's like pulling teeth.
At this point, I really wouldn't be friends with this person if she wasn't next door and i didn't have to see her every single day. As it is, she's not going anywhere and I have to smile and put up with it. Any ideas on how to tell someone "i'm tired of your mooching ways" without making things too uncomfortable between us?
Re: Never-ending "borrowers" (rant - sorry)
The big stuff like tools? I'd just say "we're not comfortable lending out our tools anymore". Period.
Give her kids a ride? "No" is sufficient, but this is where I'd probably say "Oh, sorry, but we have something else to do before/after and can't take susie.". She actually pushes and says "Oh- susie won't mind", just be firm and say "no, that won't work". PERIOD.
Try to avoid over explaining.
But in the end, you don't have to be the nice neighbor who lends stuff. You can still be civil and polite while also distancing yourself. You don't have to have any kind of relationship with her.
I have an idea...(cue evil laugh) mwah haha. Start going over to HER house every day asking for something. Cup of flour, some butter..."oohh, I love that new purse you bought, it would go perfectly with my blue dress, can I borrow it tonight for dinner out with DH?" When it starts annoying her, maybe she will get the point
.
But, yeah, I've run into people like that throughout my life and will pretty quickly just cut them right back out. Though certainly with her being a neighbor that is more difficult.
Just because of the neighbor angle, I wouldn't say anything to her directly. But I would suddenly become unavailable or say "no" to most of her requests.