Do you ever wish your weren't such a planner?

vlagrl29 · February 2015

It's one of those days. We were watching old video clips of DD as a baby - rolling over, crawling, standing up. I feel like it's been forever since those days. Silly right? We are planning to have our kids 5 years apart. That's always been the plan. Lately I have been wishing we weren't so planned, that we could just start now. That would be nuts because DH's studio hasn't even broke ground yet and I want more in our e fund before TTC again. Then I think of our neighbors - 3 kids in 4 years, 2 kids in 3 years, a friend on FB pregnant with #4 in 4 years they will have 4 kids. I often wonder if there are people with all their financials together to be able to afford this kind of life with so many kids. Hell I don't even feel financially ready for #2, but my heart is just kinda wanting another one lately. DH doesn't understand so that's why I'm venting here and I figure you guys can relate because we all have financial paths we want to accomplish.

jessica490 · February 2015

Yes I know exactly what you mean. H won't even buy Xbox one yet because we've been paying down our principle and saving for a house down payment as well, it's really crazy how focused we are...normally we aren't like this but this is such a big financial decision....but we usually go over situations as they come up on whether to just go all out or play it safe.

vlagrl29 · February 2015

Yeah I just need to stop watching her baby videos. I'm ready to admit I have baby fever after almost 4 years. I also need to remind myself how miserably sick I was for 9 months. My age is starting to affect it too. I will be 35 when we ttc again. That's not old

hoffse · February 2015

Some days I hate being a planner.

But today I figured out how to get to the Netherlands and Belgium for a week early next spring to see H's grandma (she's 93!) and the tulips. And in the process we'll be staying at the Waldorf Astoria in Amsterdam for free and saving about half the price of direct flights. We can stay with family in Belgium, so the whole trip ought to be around $2,000 total. Final price kind of depends on what happens to the euro.

So you know what? Today I'm glad I'm a planner. Because this way we can afford a final visit to see H's grandma. And I can see the Dutch tulip fields in bloom, which has been a dream of mine for years. And it would use so little of our annual trip budget that we'd be able to afford a babymoon later that year if all goes according to The Plan.

Being a planner isn't bad as long as you can enjoy the moment once your plans all come to fruition.

vlagrl29 · February 2015

hoffse said:

Some days I hate being a planner.

But today I figured out how to get to the Netherlands and Belgium for a week early next spring to see H's grandma (she's 93!) and the tulips. And in the process we'll be staying at the Waldorf Astoria in Amsterdam for free and saving about half the price of direct flights. We can stay with family in Belgium, so the whole trip ought to be around $2,000 total. Final price kind of depends on what happens to the euro.

So you know what? Today I'm glad I'm a planner. Because this way we can afford a final visit to see H's grandma. And I can see the Dutch tulip fields in bloom, which has been a dream of mine for years. And it would use so little of our annual trip budget that we'd be able to afford a babymoon later that year if all goes according to The Plan.

Being a planner isn't bad as long as you can enjoy the moment once your plans all come to fruition.

That's great you will be able to afford a visit. We weren't in the best financial shape when we TTC'ed DD so maybe that's why we are planning so well with the next. I want much more in savings for next time.

Wulfgar · February 2015

MW really wanted a second one so we now have two children. We pay her mother to watch our children while we work. We pay her $600 which is a lot less than normal child care. Sometimes you just have to decide what is more important, hitting some type of fiscal goal or having another child more important?

vlagrl29 · February 2015

Wulfgar said:
MW really wanted a second one so we now have two children. We pay her mother to watch our children while we work. We pay her $600 which is a lot less than normal child care. Sometimes you just have to decide what is more important, hitting some type of fiscal goal or having another child more important?

I sah with dd so we won't have child care. Dh doesn't want to have a baby the same time he is opening his studio which I understand. If I have the same pregnancy as with dd I will need him a lot which will be more stressful on him.

I did just realize we can try and save more this year in prep for it even though we are taking a big trip in a couple months. Also we don't need to go on vaca next year.

I just basically need to be more patient.

lifeonthehill · February 2015

I am hating the over planner in us lately. We will be TTC in 79 days....not that I am counting or anything.

I have been ready for ages and he has been 100% ready since the holidays ended. Since we are both ready I am stuck in a ''why wait" mode and it is making me cranky. I know we are waiting because if we are fortunate to get pregnant right away and have a full term pregnancy it will fall outside of his coaching season.

I need to remind myself how terrible it would be having a brand new baby at home and H working from 7am-2pm and 3pm-5pm. Not counting travel for 12+ games a season and weekly duty nights that run 5pm-1am. Giving us our best chance at keeping our relationship on track is NOT having a baby between Nov-Mar. We obviously wouldn't stop TTC once we started but that is our current hope.

vlagrl29 · February 2015

alyssa32713 said:

I am hating the over planner in us lately. We will be TTC in 79 days....not that I am counting or anything.

I have been ready for ages and he has been 100% ready since the holidays ended. Since we are both ready I am stuck in a ''why wait" mode and it is making me cranky. I know we are waiting because if we are fortunate to get pregnant right away and have a full term pregnancy it will fall outside of his coaching season.

I need to remind myself how terrible it would be having a brand new baby at home and H working from 7am-2pm and 3pm-5pm. Not counting travel for 12+ games a season and weekly duty nights that run 5pm-1am. Giving us our best chance at keeping our relationship on track is NOT having a baby between Nov-Mar. We obviously wouldn't stop TTC once we started but that is our current hope.

haha - you totally are counting! Honestly I never thought I would have baby fever again and it really just started last fall. I really felt it today after watching all those videos. I feel like I didn't realize it when DD was little that the baby phase goes way too fast. I miss it SO much. I don't know why I was always encouraging her to flip, crawl, sit up, walk, talk. I should have just enjoyed the moment. Our next baby will be our last and I am just going to soak it all up when the time comes. I feel very lucky to be able to SAH with our kid and kids in the future. For as hard as it it being the SAHM, it's so worth it.

I had another conversation with DH tonight and he helped reel me back in. He thought I would have had baby fever way before now and he is happy that I'm excited about it. Honestly I wouldn't want to be pregnant and not have DH as available as he could be because of the studio. He wants to get it open and get a couple more renters in and I want to try and get a few musicians to rent out the music studio in it on the days I don't use it to teach. If it wasn't for that we would probably be starting sooner. I also have to remind myself that this is better financially for our family. We have more time to save $$. I just wonder sometimes how other people can afford so many dang kids?!

It only took me 1 month to get pregnant with DD and for some reason I think that it will take longer with #2 because I'm 5 years older when that time comes. Or that I'm advanced maternal age and they may require more testing on the baby. Ugh - I just need to turn my brain off.

Xstatic3333 · February 2015

I hate being a planner sometimes, too. At the same time, H is totally not one at all and I know we need each other to balance each other out.

Re. TTC, for the last few months I was obsessed with trying to combine TTC with our trip to Peru. Peru is weather-dependent and would be too rainy after October, we wanted to TTC around December, I had to figure out how to transition out of my diving job (no diving once pregnant), travel was so important to me but so is my family, etc. etc. Running the schedules and budgets in my head was driving me batty. Now, with our car troubles the decision has been made for me. We can't go on a big trip this year for financial reasons. I actually feel super, super relieved. We'll enjoy our local area in our leisure time and hopefully use this year to get on good financial footing to TTC, and maybe even travel with baby. Maybe we're meant to do Peru with a 10 yo who can enjoy it with us.

Vlagrl, I worry a little bit about waiting too long age-wise, too. I'm 30 now and have plenty of time, but if we waited to get on really solid footing I'd probably be around 33. I just try to remind myself that plenty of people have babies into their 40s and odds are it will be fine. My H is 35 and starting to worry about being an "old dad," which feels crazy since he's so young at heart but he will be much older than any of our parents.

I do think many, if not most, people start families without worrying about the financials. Ours won't be perfect. Now that we'll have a car payment for a while, my favorite daycare I picked out will be a no-go. I'm glad I'm giving a little thought to getting ready, though. It's the good side of being a planner.

Xstatic3333 · February 2015

hoffse said:
Some days I hate being a planner.

But today I figured out how to get to the Netherlands and Belgium for a week early next spring to see H's grandma (she's 93!) and the tulips. And in the process we'll be staying at the Waldorf Astoria in Amsterdam for free and saving about half the price of direct flights. We can stay with family in Belgium, so the whole trip ought to be around $2,000 total. Final price kind of depends on what happens to the euro.

So you know what? Today I'm glad I'm a planner. Because this way we can afford a final visit to see H's grandma. And I can see the Dutch tulip fields in bloom, which has been a dream of mine for years. And it would use so little of our annual trip budget that we'd be able to afford a babymoon later that year if all goes according to The Plan.

Being a planner isn't bad as long as you can enjoy the moment once your plans all come to fruition.

This is one of our dream trips! Good travel planning! It's so nice you'll get to see his Grandma, too. Can I ask which airline you got the best deal with? I can't quite turn off my travel planning even though I won't be booking anything for a while.

hoffse · February 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

Some days I hate being a planner.

But today I figured out how to get to the Netherlands and Belgium for a week early next spring to see H's grandma (she's 93!) and the tulips. And in the process we'll be staying at the Waldorf Astoria in Amsterdam for free and saving about half the price of direct flights. We can stay with family in Belgium, so the whole trip ought to be around $2,000 total. Final price kind of depends on what happens to the euro.

So you know what? Today I'm glad I'm a planner. Because this way we can afford a final visit to see H's grandma. And I can see the Dutch tulip fields in bloom, which has been a dream of mine for years. And it would use so little of our annual trip budget that we'd be able to afford a babymoon later that year if all goes according to The Plan.

Being a planner isn't bad as long as you can enjoy the moment once your plans all come to fruition.
This is one of our dream trips! Good travel planning! It's so nice you'll get to see his Grandma, too. Can I ask which airline you got the best deal with? I can't quite turn off my travel planning even though I won't be booking anything for a while.

We are probably going to fly KLM or Delta. We can get direct flights multiple times a day out of Atlanta. They're a bit pricier, but sooooo nice.

Our plan is to work some credit card sign up bonuses to bring the price of those tickets down. We'll simply pick seats and buy them back to back with two separate transactions/cards. It ought to save us half the cost (at least).

Of course, if I run into a deal like I did for Paris then we'll talk about connecting. That is saving us a ton of money for Paris. But I will pay a bit of a premium for direct. We're also going to go before the high season really starts, so flights should be cheaper than the summer.

I've decided to start working travel points more efficiently. H is going to begin traveling for work this spring, so we have started researching hotel cards, etc. since he will have reimbursable paid stays, and paid stays are how you really maximize hotel cards. I'm determined not to get crazy with it.... we aren't going to go to destinations that hold little interest for us or book inconvenient hotels or really bizarre flights just to be able to use points. But I mean... if we know we plan to visit a particular destination anyway, I will see what we can do to bring the cost down however much in a way that works well for out itinerary. We just lucked out that Amsterdam (1) is tiny and (2) has high end hotels from every brand, so we can work sign-up bonuses there pretty efficiently (Amsterdam is also more expensive than Paris if you can believe it.... so that's a good city to cash in "free stay" bonuses because they end up being quite valuable).

Anyway we've decided that we'll budget for trips as though we need to pay full price. And then if I can work points to bring the cost down, we'll view it as a bonus. Given that we also keep our credit frozen, I'm not going to become a serious churner who does cards every 3 or 4 months. I will just strategize trip by trip. Hopefully that will keep it reasonable.

als1982 · February 2015

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

hoffse said:
Some days I hate being a planner.

But today I figured out how to get to the Netherlands and Belgium for a week early next spring to see H's grandma (she's 93!) and the tulips. And in the process we'll be staying at the Waldorf Astoria in Amsterdam for free and saving about half the price of direct flights. We can stay with family in Belgium, so the whole trip ought to be around $2,000 total. Final price kind of depends on what happens to the euro.

So you know what? Today I'm glad I'm a planner. Because this way we can afford a final visit to see H's grandma. And I can see the Dutch tulip fields in bloom, which has been a dream of mine for years. And it would use so little of our annual trip budget that we'd be able to afford a babymoon later that year if all goes according to The Plan.

Being a planner isn't bad as long as you can enjoy the moment once your plans all come to fruition.
This is one of our dream trips! Good travel planning! It's so nice you'll get to see his Grandma, too. Can I ask which airline you got the best deal with? I can't quite turn off my travel planning even though I won't be booking anything for a while.

We are probably going to fly KLM or Delta. We can get direct flights multiple times a day out of Atlanta. They're a bit pricier, but sooooo nice.

Our plan is to work some credit card sign up bonuses to bring the price of those tickets down. We'll simply pick seats and buy them back to back with two separate transactions/cards. It ought to save us half the cost (at least).

Of course, if I run into a deal like I did for Paris then we'll talk about connecting. That is saving us a ton of money for Paris. But I will pay a bit of a premium for direct. We're also going to go before the high season really starts, so flights should be cheaper than the summer.

I've decided to start working travel points more efficiently. H is going to begin traveling for work this spring, so we have started researching hotel cards, etc. since he will have reimbursable paid stays, and paid stays are how you really maximize hotel cards. I'm determined not to get crazy with it.... we aren't going to go to destinations that hold little interest for us or book inconvenient hotels or really bizarre flights just to be able to use points. But I mean... if we know we plan to visit a particular destination anyway, I will see what we can do to bring the cost down however much in a way that works well for out itinerary. We just lucked out that Amsterdam (1) is tiny and (2) has high end hotels from every brand, so we can work sign-up bonuses there pretty efficiently (Amsterdam is also more expensive than Paris if you can believe it.... so that's a good city to cash in "free stay" bonuses because they end up being quite valuable).

Anyway we've decided that we'll budget for trips as though we need to pay full price. And then if I can work points to bring the cost down, we'll view it as a bonus. Given that we also keep our credit frozen, I'm not going to become a serious churner who does cards every 3 or 4 months. I will just strategize trip by trip. Hopefully that will keep it reasonable.

I'm borderline obsessed with the points and miles game. It's so much fun!! Good luck planning!

AprilZ81 · February 2015

I'm usually 50/50 on "hating" being a planner. I see friends and family who do all this stuff all the time and I know their financial situation is a mess so I usually don't get too envious. But sometimes I admire the "let's just do it now!" attitude they have.

That being said, I look at our overall financial position and I wouldn't trade in the security we have for anything. We have been fortunate, both individually and jointly after our wedding, with making (mostly) good decisions with our finances so that some of our friends probably THINK we are in debt based on the lifestyle we live.

We've traveled a lot the past 2 years in preparations of travel slowing down once we have kids. While the kid(s) are smaller we will still travel, but it will be more low key and "week at the beach" type vacations instead of cruises and international travel. We will save those for when they are old enough to remember.

cbee817 · February 2015

We overplanned for DD#1- it was a little ridiculous. Right after DD#1 turned 1, I got pregnant again and it was a surprise... we were thinking of trying more when DD#1 was 18 months or so. I'm so glad we had DD#2 when we did though- we were able to reuse so much of DD#1's things and hadn't gotten rid of anything yet. DH actually got laid off about a month before DD#2 was born and we had my entire maternity leave together as a family. He didn't go back to work until September, so the girls were home with him the entire month of August which helped a ton with day care bills. It was a little stressful financial-wise, but we got through it and I'm so happy that we had them when we did.

Now we're back in planning mode- accounts for college, retirement (401K, 403B, Roth), general savings, bathroom remodel which may include a dormer so we can get a window in the upstairs bathroom, vacations.. sometimes planning is great, but surprises can be even better!

vlagrl29 · February 2015

we have saved everything from DD incase we have another girl. Really the only things we will need is furniture, new car seat, and clothes if it's a boy.

blondie42107 · February 2015

My kids are 24 months apart and I wouldn't change it at all. We had everything neutral for the big stuff. Our finances weren't perfect and they still aren't but we were fine and still are fine.

We planned for expenses. For our first, I called our insurance and asked about coverage the week I found out I was pregnant. I already new basics but the rep was amazing and went through what testing was and was not covered, etc. After that phone call, I had a very good idea of how much it would cost. I did the same for the second.

One of my friends always said she couldn't afford two children in diapers at the same time. I just had to laugh because I have been there and its really not bad. $40 extra, maybe. Everyone is different.

SmrBrd2012 · February 2015

Oh, for sure. I actually feel guilty now that I'm expecting in May because we still have debt and now we won't be able to work as hard at it. Now that I'm becoming way more aware of child care costs, I can't even imagine us having the 2nd one within a few years how we were "planning".

vlagrl29 · February 2015

SmrBrd2012 said:

Oh, for sure. I actually feel guilty now that I'm expecting in May because we still have debt and now we won't be able to work as hard at it. Now that I'm becoming way more aware of child care costs, I can't even imagine us having the 2nd one within a few years how we were "planning".

I've actually came to the realization that we won't ever be able to save enough cash for a finished off basement and hardwood floors, but I'm ok with saving half and putting the other half on our home equity line of credit that we have never used. I am very anti debt even though we have a little on my school loan but for us to get what we need out of our house we will eventually have to do it.

With DD we saved while I was pregnant which worked out, but we didn't have the savings at all that we do now. It will feel good to have #2 with a savings in plan plus putting more $$ aside for birth. It won't be nearly as stressful.

formerlyGDaisy09 · February 2015

Today is one of the days I hate being a planner. SAD is hitting me hard and I want to throw caution to the wind and book a vacation somewhere warm.

but that would blow our basement fund, which we need to finish so our guest room can get converted to a nursury and my parents can still come visit...so unless we want to put TTC on hold again I need to find a different way to cope with the snow.

31 days until spring, probably ~60 days until I can plant my garden.

als1982 · February 2015

The planner in me filled out to paperwork to get on the waiting list for our company daycare this week - and we're not even going to start TTC until May! I called last week and they said for an infant the wait can be anywhere from 16 months to 2 years!! I'm glad I called to ask - I can't imagine the frustration and disappointment of families who waited until they actually are pregnant to get on the waiting list.

formerlyGDaisy09 · February 2015

als1982 said:

The planner in me filled out to paperwork to get on the waiting list for our company daycare this week - and we're not even going to start TTC until May! I called last week and they said for an infant the wait can be anywhere from 16 months to 2 years!! I'm glad I called to ask - I can't imagine the frustration and disappointment of families who waited until they actually are pregnant to get on the waiting list.

I almost did this a few weeks ago...then the planner in me realized that for us a nanny situation is going to be more cost effective. Realistically for 90% of the year we only need child care tuesday-friday from like 8am until 10:30 or 11am, the other 10% of the year we'd need coverage monday-friday 8am to 1 or 2pm. I did the math, even if we find a nanny who charges on the high-end for our area ($18-20/hour) it's less than the daycare centers, plus if a nanny were charging more I'd expect they were more of a traditional nanny, versus a babysitter, and they would also be taking care of some light housework (a load of laundry or two, dishes, etc.) if/when the baby were sleeping.

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