Birthday Celebrations

Sandy115 · February 2015

I think I've asked this before, but it came up in my life so I wanted to see how common this is. Every birthday is celebrated on my DH's mom's side; I'm talking his, his aunt, grandma, grandpa and brother and it's always the same format - dinner/lunch, cake and ice cream, then presents. DH will be 34 this year and we're doing it again; does anyone else still get together with their whole family for their birthday in this manner? To me, birthdays aren't that big of a deal when you're an adult and not a "milestone" year and the format just reminds me of a child's birthday.

Ilumine · February 2015

ANd to them, they enjoy getting together and celebrating the life of one of their family members or just use the birthday as an excuse to get together for a party. Either way, just because YOU don't understand it, doesn't mean that THEY are somehow in the wrong doing it.

Now, if they gave you a hard time for not participating in each and every birthday party, then you have a problem...WITH THE HARD TIME not the actual party.

I just don't understand why people get their panties in such wads over things like this. Different does not mean bad.

englishtrish1 · February 2015

My DHs family didn't celebrate birthdays, mine celebrated for a week. I still have a birth week, he gets a card.

joleri23 · February 2015

When I lived close to my family they would generally have a dinner and a cake. I don't think it's too weird, unless they do other annoying things while you're there!

kelshaws1311 · February 2015

In my family and my husbands we celebrate birthday months because there are so many each month. To us birthdays are a big deal, it is a day just for you so we make a big deal and celebrate.

MommyLiberty5013 · February 2015

We give one another cards. We are all spread out over the country, but if we're nearby each other for a birthday, we'll eat a meal together and maybe have a dessert of some kind either at home or at a restaurant. We don't do presents and we don't "plan" birthdays parties for adult family members.

Xstatic3333 · February 2015

We do family birthday dinners and presents are exchanged between parents and kids, but not aunts and uncles. My family is pretty big on presents, but we often get people something simple they specifically want or need (i.e. last year my mom asked for cloth napkins and I asked for gloves, nothing crazy).

BlueBirdMB · February 2015

I honestly think it's strange when adults have yearly birthday parties. My husband and I got out to dinner together, just the two of us. We have presents for each other and our parents/siblings will send a card a present.

Disneygeek77 · February 2015

We don't celebrate like that, but I wouldn't call it childish, just different.

VOR · February 2015

Disneygeek77 said:
We don't celebrate like that, but I wouldn't call it childish, just different.

Bottom line, this. Neither my family or DHs does this. BUT - our parents do try to make a point to GTG w/ us for at least dinner. Just a simple dinner, no production, no other family. But still- they try to acknowledge it.

This is one of those issues that I don't understand either side of the issue. If you celebrate every year, good for you. I sometimes see birthdays as more of an excuse to throw a party at get together with people. If you don't celebrate, good for you too, but why does it matter that others do?

The "but" to this, though, is that life is busy. If you and DH can't always participate in the other family party's, that should be o.k. There shouldn't be guilt trips thrown out, etc. Especially the bigger the family! There needs to be respect that not everyone can attend every birthday party. THAT is where it goes too far.

Celebrate - have at it - but respect that not everyone can always make it.

Toedoe · March 2015

We always celebrate birthdays with dinner and cake or just cake and presents, usually something small or a gift card. To me it's saying you're important to me and I want to show you that by celebrating the day you were born :-) If I dont make a birthday it seems almost disrespectful to me and I will always go to visit on another day.

puppylove2014 · March 2015

DH's family celebrates EVERYONES birthday...except mine. It doesn't bother me though since they don't mind if we/I can't make it.

My side celebrates the little ones (there are 4 nieces/nephews) on my side, so I guess it evens out.

I'm with PP's it's all good as long as no one is mad if you can't make it to every celebration.

dutchgirl76 · March 2015

My family is tiny so I don't have aunts and uncles to celebrate with. I get together with my dad and husband for my birthday, dad's birthday and I take my husband out to dinner for his birthday just us.

DH's family is huge and loves to celebrate everything. Ironically DH isn't big on making his birthday a production. I find it weird that birthday parties are still thrown for some of his nieces and nephews who turned 18+ (I thought a general rule of thumb was the parties stop by 18) at least that we're still expected to give a gift, but we do and the kids appreciate it. In the past couple of years my SIL has started to throw birthday parties for her parents (my in-laws), since they are literally dirt poor I think it's more of an excuse to get the kids to help their parents out without feeling like you're begging for money.

Every family is different and you have to respect that, but to VOR's point, life is busy. When you start celebrating every single birthday, plus holidays and you have your own family to see, it's hard to have a life. If you can't go to a party don't go, no one should hold you to it.

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