Family Matters
kolache3
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
last name issue on graduation announcements?
I am about to graduate with my Master's degree in May and have been planning on sending out graduation announcements, especially because I did not send any out for my undergrad graduation. I was getting married a couple months later and my mom and I both agreed that it would be in bad taste because it would look like we were asking for money twice, even if it were just to let people know.
Anyway, many of the family members who would be receiving the announcements are unaware that I never changed my last name. I am concerned that to those people, who have not heard from me since my wedding, may take my name as a sign that I have gotten divorced. My mom thinks this is a valid concern and suggested that maybe I tack on my husband's last name after my last name on the announcements, but I would much rather use my real name that is going on my degree and my husband agrees.
I thought about putting both of our names on the return address as I typically do to show that we are still together. Does anyone else have any suggestions? Do you think this is silly for me to be concerned about in the first place?
Anyway, many of the family members who would be receiving the announcements are unaware that I never changed my last name. I am concerned that to those people, who have not heard from me since my wedding, may take my name as a sign that I have gotten divorced. My mom thinks this is a valid concern and suggested that maybe I tack on my husband's last name after my last name on the announcements, but I would much rather use my real name that is going on my degree and my husband agrees.
I thought about putting both of our names on the return address as I typically do to show that we are still together. Does anyone else have any suggestions? Do you think this is silly for me to be concerned about in the first place?
Re: last name issue on graduation announcements?
I would put your return address as you usually would.
Use the name you go by. You seem overly concerned about people thinking you're divorced. You're not, so... why does it matter if people think that? If they ask, you just say "No, I'm not. I didn't change my last name".
But past that, in this day and age, it's not a given that women change their names. Youre FAR from the first to keep her name. I'd give your relatives a bit more credit that they'll figure it out.
Given the fact that you do know these people and are aware that they will have questions, I think you should address the situation head on rather than let it go. Otherwise, you'll end up in the very situation you're looking to avoid!
My suggestion is to put a note inside the announcement that will indicate (directly or indirectly) you are still married. I'm not sure what you're saying in the announcement as it is, but this would be a way to "kill two birds with one stone."
So let's say you're putting an invitation to come to a gathering, or the graduation event itself, on the announcement. Say something like:
"Tom and Kathy humbly request your attendance
for the Graduation (ceremony/party)
of Kathy MaidenName
from Brilliant University
on May 9, 2015 at the Amazing Center
in Small Town, USA"
Or, if you would like to add a second note, it could still read generically:
"You are cordially invited to attend
the Graduation of Kathy MaidenName
from Brilliant University
on May 9, 2015 at the Amazing Center
in Small Town, USA"
BUT then have an additional Thank You card (of sorts) to put in the same envelope as the announcement. This can be a hand written note or something printed in a mass amount on those business card perforated sheets from the store, that can simply say:
"You've been an inspiration to me, and I want to thank you for always being there for me. My husband & I appreciate you and everything you have done for us. Thanks for stickin' close!
- Tom & Kathy"
The person will feel even more special (even if they are just someone you tolerate!) and will address the marriage/maiden name situation!
Hope this helps!