Family Matters
stinamaree
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
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Best Answers
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englishtrish1 member
Why do you tell your MIL you love her? Stop it, she is not going to give you what you want in response. Your MIL seems a distant and self absorbed who isn't that into you and your DH but not downright evil. Also stop comparing your mom and her DILs with your MIL, it's not making it better. Work on accepting your relationship as it is, it will at least bring you peace if not happiness and understanding -
joleri23 member
Yes, this situation sucks, and I agree with @englishtrish1. Accept the relationship for what it is and stop putting effort in. I had to do this with my MIL. Similar to your situation, she loves and accepts my SIL (BIL's wife) but not me. Well, guess what? She doesn't deserve to be part of all I have going on, and she sure as hell will not be invited to be a part of our child's life.
Re: .
A few comments.
To this: MIL didn't even care enough to sit with him in the waiting room while I
was in surgery. He was hurt by that, and when he hurts, I hurt.
Really? REALLY? This is where I feel you're stretching. My DH has had back surgery too. NEVER ever did it occur to me that anyone should call ME to see how I'M doing, much less come and sit with me. If this is really an expectation of yours, then I think YOU are actually part of the problem.
Now, I'm very sorry for your loss. I know that was a painful experience. But I have to say - while you will always love that child and consider it your child, to now expect her and everyone else to say they have TWO grandchildren? Again- that's a stretch. That doesn't mean she wasn't acknowledging your pregnancy.
Again, I find this an odd expectation and I think it's giving some insight into YOU and how you may come across to people.
It sucks to see her be close to your SILS, but in the end, she is a PERSON first, a mother second and an MIL third. Just because you married her son, it doesn't mean you're going to be close to her. And it also doesn't mean she's going to have an equal relationship w/ all her DILs. While perhaps she can be a bit rude to you and that DOES suck, I'm sorry, but some of the stuff you listed as "issues", it REALLY makes me question if you're actually overbearing and unrealistic across the board.