Money Matters
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Help me! Please

I will start off by saying I got myself into a mess, I know it.  I have a combined total of $18,000 in cc debt.  Its terrible.   I am trying to turn things around and pay this off.   I figure I have two options, plus cut the darn things up and never look back.    I can get a personal loan to pay off the debt and make a one time monthly payment/36 months.  Or should I continue to pay the minimums on the smaller interest rate cards and more on the highest rate card?    I feel stuck.  It's not that I cant afford my payments, its just that I feel I will never get this paid off.  I am wonderful at paying other things off, no problem, for example auto loans, student loans, ect.  But it seems like when I have an option to 1) add to the compounding debt and 2)select my payment - I never make any headway.  Please help!   And thank you in advance.  

Re: Help me! Please

  • What are the interest rates on the cards?  What would be the interest rate on the loan and what (if anything) would be used to secure the loan?

    Cut up the cards immediately and start using cash for purchases so you don't put yourself further in debt.

    If you post your budget we can also help you find areas to cut so you can pay more than the minimum on the debt so it is paid off faster.
    Formerly AprilH81
    photo composite_14153800476219jpg

  • When you are talking about a personal loan, how high is the interest rate as compared to the interest rate(s) on the credit cards?  If the personal loan interest rate is lower overall than the credit cards, taking out the loan seems to be a win-win situation.  Especially considering your "money personality" of being more successful paying off debt when it is in a loan format.

    I feel you and I've been there!  One strategy that worked for me was to use a spreadsheet where the first page was a summary of each card and its current balance.  Then each subsequent sheet in the file was each card, where I would almost treat it like a check register.  I'd have my starting balance for the month, enter in each transaction as I charged one, and then subtracted when I made a payment.

    It's a little psychological trick but, I found that when I knew I was going to have to update my spreadsheet later for my "impulse purchase", I was less likely to make the purchase.  Or at least less likely to make it with a credit card.  It definitely helped with the evil "balance creep".  You know the one.  You pay a card off, use it here and there, and a few months later it's like, "What?!? How did this balance already get to $500?"

    Something else I do that really helps with budgeting in general and especially helps with planning out my debt pay down.  First, make a plan for how you want to pay off the credit cards.

    While choosing the ones with a higher interest rate is obviously a good strategy, it can also be really gratifying to pay off the ones with the lowest balances first.  For example, if I had a card with a $5,000 balance and a 20% rate along with a card with a $300 balance and a 10% rate, I'd pay off the smaller balance card first just, because it would give me momentum to have one out of the way.

    You just need to determine what works out best for yourself.

    Once you have your payoff plan formulated, prepare a basic budget.  List out the take-home income you receive each month and then make a list of all your bills and expenses.  Don't forget all those morning lattes and/or other entertainment/discretionary spending.  Subtract your bills/expenses from your take-home pay and viola.  That is how much you can knock out your credit card debt each month.

    From there, you can figure out how long it will take you to whittle it down.  Want to whittle it down faster?  Cut some expenses and/or pick up a p/t job, sell things, or anything else for extra cash.

    It does take time to knock out a large debt but, if you can at least see progress each month, let that be your motivation.  You will get there faster than you know it!

    Also, call your credit card companies that have high rates and ask if they will reduce the interest rate.  This will get you to your goal faster also.

  • Yes, let us know the interest rates on each card and also on a personal loan.


  • Thank you all for your replies.   

    CC 1 - $7900 24%  store card that was upgraded to a visa... and now its out of control. 
    CC 2 - $8000 10.9%
    CC 3- $574 20%
    CC 4 - $770 22%
    CC 5 - $1600 26.9% - again, store card upgraded to visa 

    Seeing these interest rates in black and white and having to type them out almost makes me sick to my stomach. 

    The loan would be through my small town local bank. The interest rate would be 6-8%. I am not sure what would secure the loan. That wasn't mentioned. 

    I have deleted any CCs saved on any shopping websites. So that I can't just click and buy.  And I also do not carry any of them around with me.     

    My "budget" isn't in the best of shape but here is the rough draft; 

    Take home pay is $2660/month
     
    $520 daycare 
    $150 formula/diapers
    $350 groceries 
    $300 gas
    $375 car loan
    $88 student loan
    $80 insurance premium
    $70 0% furniture purchase (I know, I should have never done it!) 
    $65 spending money for myself (lunches out, coffee, ect)
    =$1998

    DH covers everything else. I just throw my money away. It makes me so sad.  We have an 8 month old and that has really opened my eyes, I want better for him and for him to learn how to manage money successfully. 
  • a little more information;  I have about $2000 in savings  and pay $473 in monthly minimums;

    CC 1 - monthly min $213 $7900  24%  
    CC 2 - monthly min $160 $8000 10.9%
    CC 3- monthly min $25    $574    20%
    CC 4 - monthly min $25   $770 22%
    CC 5 - monthly min $50   $1600 26.9% 
  • Do you and DH share any finances at all? Do you guys have any sort of emergency fund?

    If, and only if, you can be disciplined enough to pay off the private loan I would do it.  With the much lower interest rate and one consolidated payment I think it will be helpful. What are the closing costs on the loan?  That could change my mind.

    I would start tracking EVERY purchase and stick to your budget.  I would also pay more than the minimum on each of your cc payments until the personal loan is in place.  Anything you can do to lower the balances will help.  

    Also, any extra money you have needs to be going towards your debt in some way, shape or form. 
    Formerly AprilH81
    photo composite_14153800476219jpg

  • Are you underwater on your car? Can you sell it, buy a cheap car with cash and put any extra toward your debt?

    With those interest rates, I'd go ahead and see about ther personal loan. In the meantime, call every one of those companies and see if you can close the accounts but continue to make payments.
    HeartlandHustle | Personal Finance and Betterment Blog  
  • Thank you again for your reply! 

    We don't have any shared expenses.  We live on a family farm so the house is paid for, but will some day need to be updated and added on to. Its an older home, and not very efficient.    As you can see I cover the daycare and grocery bills, trips to wal mart ect.  And he pays auto insurance, utilities, phone, internet, TV, life insurance, ect.  

    Our emergency fund is our savings. approx $3000.  I know its a grim picture. But I hope talking to you guys is the first step out of it.  
  • I will have to check into where I am at with my car.  I know I have 14 payments (&counting) left on it. But I do not know what if any equity I have. It is an '09 with 100,000 + miles. So I struggle with paying it off and keeping it.  or trading for something with less miles.  
  • luv4LO said:

    Thank you all for your replies.   


    CC 1 - $7900 24%  store card that was upgraded to a visa... and now its out of control. 
    CC 2 - $8000 10.9%
    CC 3- $574 20%
    CC 4 - $770 22%
    CC 5 - $1600 26.9% - again, store card upgraded to visa 

    Seeing these interest rates in black and white and having to type them out almost makes me sick to my stomach. 

    The loan would be through my small town local bank. The interest rate would be 6-8%. I am not sure what would secure the loan. That wasn't mentioned. 

    I have deleted any CCs saved on any shopping websites. So that I can't just click and buy.  And I also do not carry any of them around with me.     

    My "budget" isn't in the best of shape but here is the rough draft; 

    Take home pay is $2660/month
     
    $520 daycare 
    $150 formula/diapers
    $350 groceries 
    $300 gas
    $375 car loan
    $88 student loan
    $80 insurance premium
    $70 0% furniture purchase (I know, I should have never done it!) 
    $65 spending money for myself (lunches out, coffee, ect)
    =$1998

    DH covers everything else. I just throw my money away. It makes me so sad.  We have an 8 month old and that has really opened my eyes, I want better for him and for him to learn how to manage money successfully. 
    What is the financial situation for your husband? Does he have any extra money that can help you manage these?  Do you guys have any savings? 

    I would look into the personal loan a bit more and depending on what the answers to @AprilZ81's questions are, I would go the personal loan route because that is a huge interest savings.  But make sure you look for any hidden costs or loop holes.

    The other question is, is this a budget that is realistic/an accurate picture of what your situation looks like at the end of the month? Or is it what you want it to look like? You should have $660 left over every month to put towards your debt, if that budget is accurate.  That is more than your minimum payments which is a good start.  




  • kmurphy2131    it is hard to admit, I make this budget every month but rarely stick to it.  I have thought about doing the envelope method. and using only cash.  When I use my debit card I lose track of what I have spent.   I have to do something to stick to it.  Thank you for your time replying. 
  • If you use some of your savings to pay off the $770 card, then put all your extra money towards the $574 loan, you can have it paid off in about 3 months. Then your smallest loan ($1600) would also be your highest interest rate and you could put about $300 a month towards it.

    BUT, if you are committed to the plan of the personal loan, I'd go for that. 

    I know there are a many differing personal philosophies on the board, but I have to say you and your husband would probably benefit greatly from Financial Peace University from Dave Ramsey. With your car payment, student loans, and minimum CC payments, you're spending $936 a month on debt. That's 36% of your monthly budget. (AND if you include the $70/month furniture, it's up to 38.7%)

    Anyway, that's my unsolicited advice. You clearly know you can't keep spending money this way. 
  • Here's the problem with the personal loan idea.  Assuming you get an 8% interest rate (high side) at 36 months, your monthly payments will be about $590/month.  That's more than you are currently paying in minimums.  It sounds like you could afford it if you started sticking to a budget, but it's something you need to go into with your eyes open if you do it.

    Personally, I would still be inclined to do it because it would save you buckets of interest.  But the minimum payment would amount to nearly 1/4 of your take-home each month.  That's significant.

    If it's a personal loan it's probably unsecured.  That's one reason why the interest rate is so high.  Do check though.

    I disagree with a lot of what Dave Ramsey says.  But I do think his methods are good for people who are drowning in high-interest credit card debt (it's his methods for what you do AFTER getting out of credit card debt that I disagree with).  You're not quite drowning yet, but if things don't change it's only a matter of time.  So I second the suggestion to look into his methods for fixing this.  

    I'm also wondering where your husband comes into this.  It sounds like you guys keep money separate. That can be fine, but you're really struggling here.  If there is extra household money - his, yours, whatever - you guys need to jointly focus it on fixing the credit card debt.  Sometimes spouses who are savers don't like to bail out the spouses who are spenders.  To that I say, "Suck it up.  You're married."  It's his job to help you fix this financially, and it's your job to break the habits that got you into this in the first place.  I can't tell if he's helping or not from your posts - if not, you need to address this with him.

    It's good that you are addressing this.  People who wrack up credit card debt usually keep their head in the sand about spending.  They don't want to look at their bank account or cc statement and have to face the impulse spending.  Change that.  Make it a habit to check your accounts every day so you know exactly how much money you have.  Keep a budget and update it every day too.  Make a spreadsheet to track your debt so you can watch the balance decline.  It's important to get into control.

    Finally - here's some (more) unsolicited advice: find a way to break the need to acquire more stuff.  For me, unsubscribing to merchant emails helped a lot.  I'm not bombarded with "buy now!' "sale one day only!" type messages.  It has really helped me take control of my spending.  When I do spend money now, it's my idea - I make a list of things that are wearing out or that H and I have talked about getting for awhile.  Then when I spend money on new stuff or more stuff, it's because I've genuinely considered it.  Remember that retailers spend millions of dollars a year figuring out ways to separate you from your money through impulse shopping.  A lot of it is psychological - if Macy's can make a shopper think this is their last chance to get that item, then the shopper is more likely to buy it.  Be aware of these tactics, and take control.  


    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Based on your interest rates, I would check with your bank to see if you can get a personal loan to pay those all off at a lower interest rate. If you can, then get a loan & pay everything off, forget about them for a while & just work on paying off the loan.

    My husband isn't the greatest with money either so he's only allowed to put two things on his cc which is gas & haircuts. I budget for those. This way it helps to show a regular spending & it does get paid off in full. I should state, we are trying to build up his credit.

  • Yeah my husband isn't really wanting to bail me out of this and is pretty upset with the mess I've made.   He makes it very hard for me to ask for his help. I also don't like asking for help. But that is a whole other topic.    I have unsubscribed to all the tempting shopping emails.  And deleted my credit cards from all websites so I cannot just click and buy.  Thank you for your reply.   
    hoffse said:


    I'm also wondering where your husband comes into this.  It sounds like you guys keep money separate. That can be fine, but you're really struggling here.  If there is extra household money - his, yours, whatever - you guys need to jointly focus it on fixing the credit card debt.  Sometimes spouses who are savers don't like to bail out the spouses who are spenders.  To that I say, "Suck it up.  You're married."  It's his job to help you fix this financially, and it's your job to break the habits that got you into this in the first place.  I can't tell if he's helping or not from your posts - if not, you need to address this with him.

    It's good that you are addressing this.  People who wrack up credit card debt usually keep their head in the sand about spending.  They don't want to look at their bank account or cc statement and have to face the impulse spending.  Change that.  Make it a habit to check your accounts every day so you know exactly how much money you have.  Keep a budget and update it every day too.  Make a spreadsheet to track your debt so you can watch the balance decline.  It's important to get into control.

    Finally - here's some (more) unsolicited advice: find a way to break the need to acquire more stuff.  For me, unsubscribing to merchant emails helped a lot.  I'm not bombarded with "buy now!' "sale one day only!" type messages.  It has really helped me take control of my spending.  When I do spend money now, it's my idea - I make a list of things that are wearing out or that H and I have talked about getting for awhile.  Then when I spend money on new stuff or more stuff, it's because I've genuinely considered it.  Remember that retailers spend millions of dollars a year figuring out ways to separate you from your money through impulse shopping.  A lot of it is psychological - if Macy's can make a shopper think this is their last chance to get that item, then the shopper is more likely to buy it.  Be aware of these tactics, and take control.  



  • luv4LO said:

    Yeah my husband isn't really wanting to bail me out of this and is pretty upset with the mess I've made.   He makes it very hard for me to ask for his help. I also don't like asking for help. But that is a whole other topic.    I have unsubscribed to all the tempting shopping emails.  And deleted my credit cards from all websites so I cannot just click and buy.  Thank you for your reply.   

    hoffse said:


    I'm also wondering where your husband comes into this.  It sounds like you guys keep money separate. That can be fine, but you're really struggling here.  If there is extra household money - his, yours, whatever - you guys need to jointly focus it on fixing the credit card debt.  Sometimes spouses who are savers don't like to bail out the spouses who are spenders.  To that I say, "Suck it up.  You're married."  It's his job to help you fix this financially, and it's your job to break the habits that got you into this in the first place.  I can't tell if he's helping or not from your posts - if not, you need to address this with him.

    It's good that you are addressing this.  People who wrack up credit card debt usually keep their head in the sand about spending.  They don't want to look at their bank account or cc statement and have to face the impulse spending.  Change that.  Make it a habit to check your accounts every day so you know exactly how much money you have.  Keep a budget and update it every day too.  Make a spreadsheet to track your debt so you can watch the balance decline.  It's important to get into control.

    Finally - here's some (more) unsolicited advice: find a way to break the need to acquire more stuff.  For me, unsubscribing to merchant emails helped a lot.  I'm not bombarded with "buy now!' "sale one day only!" type messages.  It has really helped me take control of my spending.  When I do spend money now, it's my idea - I make a list of things that are wearing out or that H and I have talked about getting for awhile.  Then when I spend money on new stuff or more stuff, it's because I've genuinely considered it.  Remember that retailers spend millions of dollars a year figuring out ways to separate you from your money through impulse shopping.  A lot of it is psychological - if Macy's can make a shopper think this is their last chance to get that item, then the shopper is more likely to buy it.  Be aware of these tactics, and take control.  



    Did you incur all this debt after the wedding, or did you come into the marriage with it? Has your husband been aware of your shopping habits and overspending, or is it's something you kept hidden from him?
    HeartlandHustle | Personal Finance and Betterment Blog  
  • Start by cutting up the store cards!
    As for your husband, I differ in my opinion as to your husband needing to help.
    My position is that YOU first need to make some serious changes in your spending and prove that you have changed your ways FIRST -- I am all about helping those who are helping themselves and doing all they can - and right now that is not where you are.
  • I agree I do need to prove to him that I can change my ways. I came into our marriage with some of this debt. He knew when marrying me that I over spend and think about it later. But maybe not to this extent.   Its been something I've struggled with from the first time I got a cc.  I can distinctively remember looking at the credit card app thinking, sure why not!  I feel like everything I do extra he holds over my head, any time I spend on anything other then a necessity he disapproves.    This is one of those "for worse" parts of our marriage.   
  • luv4LO said:

    I agree I do need to prove to him that I can change my ways. I came into our marriage with some of this debt. He knew when marrying me that I over spend and think about it later. But maybe not to this extent.   Its been something I've struggled with from the first time I got a cc.  I can distinctively remember looking at the credit card app thinking, sure why not!  I feel like everything I do extra he holds over my head, any time I spend on anything other then a necessity he disapproves.    This is one of those "for worse" parts of our marriage.   

    We all have our weaknesses and mistakes. I hope you guys can find a way to be united in your long-term goals (even if you keep your finances separate). Money disagreements are a huge contributor to marital stress, so I encourage you guys to have some tough convos about where you want to be financially as a family and what you both need to do to get there. 

    My Financial Peace University class had two married couples that had mostly separate finances and it was so cool to watch them take responsibility for their individual finances to progress towards their joint goals. 
  • I think she does need to make a point to break these habits, but I also think her husband needs to stop holding it over her.  It's not constructive.  If their family income - as a family - can knock out some of this debt, then I think that's something that needs to happen.  If her husband has thousands in savings, it's not at all reasonable for his wife to be paying massive interest on this debt while he's waiting for her to "prove herself" to his satisfaction (whatever that is).  Figuring this stuff out together is part of a marriage.  Sometimes that means paying debt your spouse accrued before your marriage.

    I say this as somebody whose spouse has twice as much student debt as I have, most of which was accrued before we got married.  It's not the same as credit card debt, but his loan payments alone are still more than our mortgage payment each month.  I knew that he was coming into our marriage with a lot of debt, I married him anyway, and being judgey and resentful about it accomplishes nothing.

    OP, nobody is perfect.  Swallow your pride and have an honest talk with your husband.  Explain to him that you realize that mindless spending is one of your flaws, and it's something you want to change.  Ask for his help and support in doing that  Come up with a firm plan together to limit your ability to mindlessly spend - ask for his suggestions, cut up the cards with him, develop a household budget, make envelopes for yourself.  Get him involved in this, and it will probably improve your financial relationship with him.  I do think you need to put forward considerable effort to fix this - after all, you were the one who spent money you didn't have - but I stick to my opinion that your husband shouldn't make you crawl out of the hole all by yourself. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • hoffse said:

    I think she does need to make a point to break these habits, but I also think her husband needs to stop holding it over her.  It's not constructive.  If their family income - as a family - can knock out some of this debt, then I think that's something that needs to happen.  If her husband has thousands in savings, it's not at all reasonable for his wife to be paying massive interest on this debt while he's waiting for her to "prove herself" to his satisfaction (whatever that is).  Figuring this stuff out together is part of a marriage.  Sometimes that means paying debt your spouse accrued before your marriage.

    I say this as somebody whose spouse has twice as much student debt as I have, most of which was accrued before we got married.  It's not the same as credit card debt, but his loan payments alone are still more than our mortgage payment each month.  I knew that he was coming into our marriage with a lot of debt, I married him anyway, and being judgey and resentful about it accomplishes nothing.

    OP, nobody is perfect.  Swallow your pride and have an honest talk with your husband.  Explain to him that you realize that mindless spending is one of your flaws, and it's something you want to change.  Ask for his help and support in doing that  Come up with a firm plan together to limit your ability to mindlessly spend - ask for his suggestions, cut up the cards with him, develop a household budget, make envelopes for yourself.  Get him involved in this, and it will probably improve your financial relationship with him.  I do think you need to put forward considerable effort to fix this - after all, you were the one who spent money you didn't have - but I stick to my opinion that your husband shouldn't make you crawl out of the hole all by yourself. 




    I agree with this. H and I don't combine finances, but we've worked together to pay off CC debt I had using our joint savings. And we decided that when I get my school paid off in a year I will start paying towards his truck so combined the only debt we'll have in about 1.5-2 years is our house. It's all about finding a balance and asking for help when you need it. I would sit down with H and seriously talk to him about needing help, how you'll change in the future to keep this from happening, and then sticking to it. Come up with a plan together and maybe he'll be more open to helping.

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