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Not sure what the tile of this should be. I guess it is bit of a vent, but also would appreciate your honest opinion.
As I mentioned in the getting healthy check in post, this week I found out one of my friends is expecting her 2nd baby. I had never felt this way about a pregnancy announcement, kind of surprised myself actually for feeling sad/sorry for myself once she told me. I think the reason it affected me so much is how it all happened?
We are good friends. She knows all I have been thru regarding trying to have a baby. Knows when is my every appointment, even offered to go to them with me if DH was not available so I wouldn't have to go alone.
On Wednesday I got out of work and saw I had a text from her, nothing out of the ordinary. Simple hey, how you feeling. Once I got home we were texting back and forth for few minutes, and that's when she said..." I need to tell you something" We are pregnant. But then, she said, "I wanted to tell you before you saw it on FB" This is the part that bothered me. I was like...what? How far along are you. And that's when she told me she's out of her first trimester. Not even 30 minutes later, I saw she made the announcement on FB.
I understand people want to wait to announce to make sure all is ok, etc etc etc. But I just wish I had a little more time to digest all of this, before I saw it plastered on FB.
Am I crazy for feeling hurt she waited till the very last minute to tell me? We talk couple times a week. She does not know how this upset me. Of course I am happy for her and her DH. Maybe its because, I feel I told her so much, and really opened up to her about IF and all. Or maybe I am just bitter and crazy and need to get over it.
Now I am just rambling, so thank you for reading thru this.
Re: ...
You definitely don't need to get over the feelings you are having, however. Feel what you feel. When you feel it. Announcements sting. Even from the very best of friends who you are truly happy for. Even if she had told you when she was 5 weeks along, the sting would likely have been there, ya know?
The fact that she told you before the FB announcement leads me to believe she was thinking about you and your feelings. I would much rather have a text from her "last minute" than trying to fake my happiness in the moment. It was never about not being happy for the couple, but everything about reminding me what we didn't have/couldn't make work.
Baby Boy born 5.3.15
I believe that she did think about your feelings, but you are absolutely allowed to feel the way you do. I'm sure she just wanted to be out of the first trimester before telling many people. Big hugs to you!
Don't beat yourself up about being sad about her announcement. It happens. I spent 10 minutes sobbing in an Ikea bathroom when my sister called to tell me she was PG.
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TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad spermDE IVF ER - 12/2/2016 (17R/10F = 8 frosties); FET 1.0 (1/27/2017) - BFP 6dp5dt (EDD 10/16/2017)
Thank you ladies.