Baby Related- Feeling unprepared

lifeonthehill · April 2015

As most of you know H's job pays for 100% of our housing and food(except for in the summers).
I used the baby budget calculator from babycenter and in the past I have been told that the baby budget is high but we are leaving it high just in case.The gas/fun/toiletries/food sections are actually much higher than what we actually use now. Retirement is taken before we get a paycheck. We have no debt and, according to this budget, a 6 month e-fund. We will be getting a new car with cash next month to replace our beater.

We are TTC next week. I will be a SAHM so this is all based on H's income. Once we get pregnant we plan to start saving the extra $1.5k we have each month now into a baby fund. I am starting to feel like we are crazy to have kids with the money we are making! Talk me down?

Budget	1900

Baby	464
Health Ins.	371
Car Ins.	150
Phones	140
Food/Toiletries	30
Gas	80
Netflix	8
UMA	150
Fun	200
total	1593

ETA: Fixed some wonky formatting.

als1982 · April 2015

You are way ahead of the game IMO. Honestly, I think you're just nervous (heck - who isn't?!) You have a great deal of savings and as long as your H's job is secure and you plan to keep living in the dorm, you'll be fine. Once you get PG, can you take all your individual income and put that in savings and just live off his, both to make sure you can do it and also to have some additional safety net?

BTW, what is included in the $464 for baby?

Xstatic3333 · April 2015

You are in great financial shape to TTC in my opinion, thanks to your hard work and dedication. Congrats on TTC!

hoffse · April 2015

Given your unique circumstances, I think you're probably fine.

One question I have though... does your e-fund account for living expenses that you guys would need to start paying for if your H lost his job? If so, I think you guys are set. If not, you guys may want to keep increasing that a little bit, since you won't have your job to fall back on. And I mean... if he lost his job, then the perks from the school would end, correct?

maple2 · April 2015

It was definitely a mental adjustment for us when we had kids and realized that we wouldn't really be saving much on a monthly basis anymore. We could manage to cover all the added expenses of kids on our budget, but that was the money that previously would have been going to savings or fun/luxury items that we enjoyed buy didn't absolutely need.

It looks like even with overestimating in several categories, you still have $300+ a month that is free for saving and/or cash flowing unexpected expenses. When you factor in the overestimates, that could be as much as $500 a month. (We didn't come close to spending $464 on a baby per month, though we were blessed with healthy kids who were happy to bf and use cloth diapers.) It may not be what you are used to but is still a great amount of money to be able to save or spend as needed each month.

noffgurl · April 2015

You are doing awesome, I wouldn't worry.

lifeonthehill · April 2015

als1982 said:
You are way ahead of the game IMO. Honestly, I think you're just nervous (heck - who isn't?!) You have a great deal of savings and as long as your H's job is secure and you plan to keep living in the dorm, you'll be fine. Once you get PG, can you take all your individual income and put that in savings and just live off his, both to make sure you can do it and also to have some additional safety net?

BTW, what is included in the $464 for baby?

Diapers, Wipes, Toiletries, Food, Formula, Prescriptions, and Dr. Visit co pays

I used this site http://www.babycenter.com/baby-cost-calculator

lifeonthehill · April 2015

hoffse said:
Given your unique circumstances, I think you're probably fine.

One question I have though... does your e-fund account for living expenses that you guys would need to start paying for if your H lost his job? If so, I think you guys are set. If not, you guys may want to keep increasing that a little bit, since you won't have your job to fall back on. And I mean... if he lost his job, then the perks from the school would end, correct?

It would only cover about 3 months of "real world" expenses. However his job security is so unbelievably high that we are okay with this.

lifeonthehill · April 2015

maple2 said:
It was definitely a mental adjustment for us when we had kids and realized that we wouldn't really be saving much on a monthly basis anymore. We could manage to cover all the added expenses of kids on our budget, but that was the money that previously would have been going to savings or fun/luxury items that we enjoyed buy didn't absolutely need.

It looks like even with overestimating in several categories, you still have $300+ a month that is free for saving and/or cash flowing unexpected expenses. When you factor in the overestimates, that could be as much as $500 a month. (We didn't come close to spending $464 on a baby per month, though we were blessed with healthy kids who were happy to bf and use cloth diapers.) It may not be what you are used to but is still a great amount of money to be able to save or spend as needed each month.

I think that is exactly my fear! We have been saving and paying off debt for so long now I can't imagine not being able to do what we have been doing for the last 2 years.

azaleigha · April 2015

It's good that you and your husband are financially preparing for the changes having a baby will make on your life. It is definitely an adjustment especially after you've been used to your current budgeting system for so long. But don't forget what a blessing children are - no amount of savings can outweigh what kids bring into your life. It sounds like you and your husband are both very responsible people, and it's amazing how resources can appear unexpectedly just when you need them sometimes! You seem to be in a good place, no debt and a clear plan, so I wouldn't worry too much if I were you! Unexpected expenses and circumstances are a part of life and no matter how much you plan, sometimes you just can't anticipate those things, regardless of you have kids or not. Good luck to you and your husband!

-Azaleigha

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2015

alyssa32713 said:

maple2 said:
It was definitely a mental adjustment for us when we had kids and realized that we wouldn't really be saving much on a monthly basis anymore. We could manage to cover all the added expenses of kids on our budget, but that was the money that previously would have been going to savings or fun/luxury items that we enjoyed buy didn't absolutely need.

It looks like even with overestimating in several categories, you still have $300+ a month that is free for saving and/or cash flowing unexpected expenses. When you factor in the overestimates, that could be as much as $500 a month. (We didn't come close to spending $464 on a baby per month, though we were blessed with healthy kids who were happy to bf and use cloth diapers.) It may not be what you are used to but is still a great amount of money to be able to save or spend as needed each month.
I think that is exactly my fear! We have been saving and paying off debt for so long now I can't imagine not being able to do what we have been doing for the last 2 years.

I think these fears are normal (at least that's what I'm telling myself). all I can say now is that I think my H and I feel like we've been in the process of finding the balance between our desire to be parents and our financial stability. Could we be in a place where we're more prepared, sure we could, there is always more you could do. But do we have ourselves in a place where we think we can successfully manage most challenges that come our way, absolutely!

I think part of the pre-baby money work is getting yourself into a place where you know how to make smart choices, you know what kinds of money "traps" to look out for, or what you're especially vunerable to (I know to beware the temptation of ordering take-out during those new parenting months!). I do not think that anyone feels 100% ready to jump into parenting when they decide to TTC, there is always going to be some little bit of doubt that maybe just a few more months might put you in a better place. While the financial preparedness is a huge part of being ready, you've done the work (or rather the math) there, have some faith that somehow you will manage! If you and your H have met your life-goals and you feel emotionally ready, You will find a new financial-normal as a new family when the time comes.

Erikan73 · April 2015

And just an idea to supplement your income. If your housing situation would allow for it, if you have any friends in the area that could use child care for the short breaks, like spring break, christmas or snow days. Offer up to a few friends who might not be SAHM the opportunity to bring the kids to your home during those time for a small fee.

lifeonthehill · April 2015

Erikan73 said:
And just an idea to supplement your income. If your housing situation would allow for it, if you have any friends in the area that could use child care for the short breaks, like spring break, christmas or snow days. Offer up to a few friends who might not be SAHM the opportunity to bring the kids to your home during those time for a small fee.

This is actually a fantastic idea! Thanks!

Kahlyla · April 2015

Honestly, I was stunned at how inexpensive my babies were. Every parent and every baby is different, of course, but just looking at: "Diapers, Wipes, Toiletries, Food, Formula, Prescriptions, and Dr. Visit co pays"...

-we cloth-diapered for the most part, supplemented with disposables a bit, and were given more than enough newborn diapers as gifts to cover the first couple of weeks or so where you don't want to use cloth

-we did cloth wipes for a bit as well - used cut up old receiving blankets and such with a homemade solution

-I breastfed, so there was no formula cost; if you're planning to do the same, it's probably safe to assume the formula estimate makes up a fair chunk of that budget.

-never had a single prescription. My kids are four and five now and we've gotten, like, eye drops once, I think.

-they don't eat any actual food for the first several months. Recommendations vary, but they tend to start with just a titch of baby cereal at around 4/5/6 months - not very much - and then slowly build from there. We always just used regular food, too, so you can imagine it was pretty cheap to feed them actual carrots, sweet potatoes, bananas, avocado, etc.

-health care isn't an issue here, but I realize that will be different in the U.S.

And between hand-me-downs, gifts, garage sales and thrift stores, toys, clothes and equipment can cost next to nothing in the early days. I've never paid full price for anything baby.

It's awesome that you're hoping to be over-prepared, of course, but I really think you're going to be fine.

cbee817 · April 2015

I'm sure you have already planned this, but are you going to continue school or stop after the baby is born? Do you want your kids close in age- would that end up postponing school 7-10 years? Personally, I would finish up school first- get one thing completed and then focus on a family. DH and I both had our bachelor's and master's degrees finished, bought a house, and had our jobs set so it was easy to focus on the pregnancy and DD#1's arrival. We were also able to have our kids close in age- which is what we wanted. Never got out of baby mode with DD#1 and DD#2 was arriving.... it was hectic, but it's nice now!

lifeonthehill · April 2015

cbee817 said:
I'm sure you have already planned this, but are you going to continue school or stop after the baby is born? Do you want your kids close in age- would that end up postponing school 7-10 years? Personally, I would finish up school first- get one thing completed and then focus on a family. DH and I both had our bachelor's and master's degrees finished, bought a house, and had our jobs set so it was easy to focus on the pregnancy and DD#1's arrival. We were also able to have our kids close in age- which is what we wanted. Never got out of baby mode with DD#1 and DD#2 was arriving.... it was hectic, but it's nice now!

I am not comfortable waiting another 4 years to complete a degree and several more after that to get job experience. We are planning to be one and done.

ETA: I plan to continue school part time.

short+sassy · April 2015

Congrats on the TTC! I also think you sound like you are in pretty good shape from a financial perspective. I have no doubt there are lots of things scary about the thought of having a baby but, if you all are ready, you're ready

.

shakinros · April 2015

I think you're going to be fine. Barring major health issues, you won't spend $464/mo on a baby. We use disposable diapers and formula fed, and that was not more than $200 in the most expensive months. There are hella coupons out there for both. Some months may be more if you need a prescription, but most months will be $300 or under I think. Good to plan for more so you have extra funds, but you're in a fine spot.

vlagrl29 · April 2015

Girl just go for it! You guys are way prepared and you will be surprised how inexpensive it is to have a kid as long as they are pretty healthy.

vlagrl29 · April 2015

I also think the $464/month is on the high side. Well visits are 100% covered, diapers only cost us $35/month. I chose to FF so we had to buy the similac sensitive, but I don't remember how much or how often we had to buy it. I remember we would buy the tub because it was a better buy - around $24 I think per tub. God I feel like its been so long that when we have another I would have forgotten everything. the first year goes way too fast!

lifeonthehill · April 2015

Thanks so much for the support everyone! I am glad to hear that most of you agree we could more than make it work! Also I love hearing that the baby budget line is high in your opinions! I would love to not be spending that much a month. Haha.

ETA: I am feeling so much better about everything compared to when I posted this. Good thing because today is my first day off BC!

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