Estate Tax questions

brij2006 · May 2015

Hi everyone. It's been a while since I've been able to post, but I'm back to work now so it's a lot easier since I'm not primarily mobile anymore.

So as most of you know, my brother passed away unexpectedly a few months ago. Well, we're getting things prepared to close out his estate in a few months. I just want to toss this out here to see if anyone has some thoughts or opinions on the proper way to claim the income from the estate.

The lawyer has given us a couple of different options on closing it out, as far as tax purposes. Here are the options:

1. We can put everything under his individual name for 2015 and file the taxes under him as an individual. The negative to this is that he can't claim any expenses past the date of his death. So there would be about $125,000 in income, but only $1,000 in expenses (he passed away 15 days into 2015, so not many expenses).

2. We can file everything under the estate itself. There would be the $125,000 in income to be claimed, but then we could write off any expenses the estate has accrued, along with the loss on the sale of some items. We're looking that we will potentially have about $100,000 in loss/expenses. So we would only need to pay taxes on the $25,000 difference, however it would be taxed at the high estate tax.

3. We can take the income and expenses from the estate and file them under our personal taxes. This means it will be split 3 ways (my mom, dad, and myself). The plus to this is that my parents are farmers and they can easily write off beyond the 2/3rds of the estate expenses. However, I do not have much write off's in a tax year. So I would only have my 1/3rd of the expense write off, but the income from the estate would bump us into a higher tax bracket.

Is there anything I'm missing on this that I should question the lawyer about? We're leaning toward option #3, because it would mean being taxed at the lowest rate of the 3 options on the estate as a whole. However, I feel like we are missing something or aren't asking some questions we should be. I understand how it works, but just want to make sure that I'm not missing something on how this may negatively affect our tax bill for 2015 (I fully understand that I will need to put money aside from my portion to pay the taxes on that income).

hoffse · May 2015

We usually end up doing option 2 or 3, depending on how the numbers work out. We usually have an accountant run everything, and we very typically go with their recommendation.

Keep in mind the lawyer's client is the estate, unless you guys have waived a conflict to allow him/her to represent you all personally as well. The lawyer is obligated to recommend whatever is best for his/her client, so typically that means picking the route that results in the lowest tax liability for the estate as a whole. Occasionally there are exceptions to this - I've had executors want the taxes to be dealt with at the estate level so that checks could be cut and nobody had to worry about the taxes personally. I've also had executors want the opposite - in that they want to put the liability of the taxes on each of the heirs individually so that the heirs are on the hook for figuring out the tax side of things and the executor can wash their hands of it.

If you do go for option 2, find out if the lawyer will bundle the filing/accounting fees to close the estate down. In my state we can distribute the assets of the estate before the tax return is filed, but there needs to be a sufficient hold-back for those taxes and any legal/accounting fees that may go along with it. Your state may permit the same thing.

I would also hire an accountant to run the numbers if you haven't already. Lawyers aren't always great with numbers.

**This is not legal advice.

brij2006 · May 2015

@hoffse He also represents us personally and has an accountant work in his office who also does tax work. So we can have her run the numbers for us (H and I go elsewhere for our tax returns but may switch over to them for this year since they know what's going on), but to the tune of her per hour cost.

He also gave us another option where we can split the income. So we can file $20k under my brother individually (to get the individual tax credit and keep $20k in the lowest tax bracket), then split the remainder out to the 3 of us to file individually.

The numbers are working out the estate as a whole will be worth about $235,000. $125,000 of that was of income in 2015 from selling his farm grain that was in storage and cashing out his 401k (that didn't have a beneficiary). His farm land is going to transfer ownership over to my name, and my parents are going to buy his crop sprayer for the amount that he owed on it. That will create almost a $100,000 loss between the appraised value of the sprayer at the time of death and when it is "sold." So that's what the numbers are looking at. It is my understanding though that we only have to pay taxes on what the income was, not what he had in the sale of his assets.

short+sassy · May 2015

If you all leaning toward #3, even though that is not what works best for you financially, would your parents be willing to give you the difference from their portion? I don't mean that as part of the estate. I mean after everything is set and done, you all have received your checks, and they then give you some extra.

On a totally different topic, but same idea, that was what my parents did when I was a working minor. My dad would figure out the numbers if my tax return was done as an individual versus them claiming me as a deduction. It always came out better for them to claim me as a deduction...which I guess meant I wouldn't get a refund because I wouldn't file taxes as an individual...but then they would give me whatever my refund would have been. I'm sure I'm not explaining the exact process correctly, but it was something like that.

It's good to see you back and I am so sorry about your brother!

brij2006 · May 2015

@short+sassy That's the only reason why my parents don't want to do option #3. They know that it means me paying out more in taxes on my portion, but it means more money in our pockets with the estate as a whole vs claiming the income through the estate.

They said they would pay for part of my tax implication to make sure it evens out and we're all paying the same amount in taxes on our portions. But this way just means less money toward the government out of his estate (which is what he would have wanted).

BTW, I'm so glad we all get along through this. I can't even imagine how families do this if they don't get along.

hoffse · May 2015

@short+sassy That's the only reason why my parents don't want to do option #3. They know that it means me paying out more in taxes on my portion, but it means more money in our pockets with the estate as a whole vs claiming the income through the estate.
They said they would pay for part of my tax implication to make sure it evens out and we're all paying the same amount in taxes on our portions. But this way just means less money toward the government out of his estate (which is what he would have wanted).

BTW, I'm so glad we all get along through this. I can't even imagine how families do this if they don't get along.

If they're willing to do that, then I think option 3 is probably going to be your best bet. It sounds like you guys have had the accountant look at it, so as long as the numbers are pretty solid I would personally be comfortable with that arrangement. That's not the lawyer in me talking (actually the lawyer in me says not to rely on promises like that), this is the finance side of me talking. It sounds like your relationship with your parents is such that you guys can be open with each other about what the final numbers are, and they would honor that promise they made to you. As long as you're good with that - and you realize that there's probably not much you could do to make them honor that promise if they changed their minds - then I think option 3 wins. It's also the best result for the estate.

The fighting among family members can become horrendous. I've had estates drag on for years because people were fighting over a whopping $10,000.... while spending upwards of $50,000+ out of the estate to fight it legally. The number cruncher in me absolutely cannot understand why anybody would choose to do that. I've also closed estates where we had to keep family members in separate rooms, because there would have been legitimate safety concerns if they were all in the same room together while the checks were being written. I'm so glad you and your family aren't doing any of that. Your lawyer is glad too! Seriously, you guys are probably some of his favorite clients. He'll be so happy that everybody is behaving that he'll want to do a good job for you.

**Again, not tax or legal advice.

MommyLiberty5013 · May 2015

With Option #3 if you are pushed into a higher tax bracket for 2015 and then in 2016 you presumably return to your previous tax bracket, which is lower than the 2015 one, could that generate a red flag in the IRS offices? And, make you more susceptible to an IRS audit?

I don't know the answer to this. And, I wonder how (if at all) the IRS views movement up to a higher tax bracket and then down to a lower one the following year.

Maybe it's a non-issue with the IRS since people get windfalls all the time whether from inheritance or winnings of some kind.

Personally, while I'm doing nothing illegal - I wouldn't want to do anything that would make me more prone to an audit.

noffgurl · May 2015

@MommyLiberty5013 I wouldn't worry about an audit in her case. Windfalls happen pretty frequently for one. For two, all that really happens is you get a letter essentially challenging an item or such on your return and a request of proof/whatever documents to support what you had on the return. If she has all her paperwork she won't have to worry about it. My mom was audited because of a mistype on her 401k withdrawal that her preparer did, she submitted the documents they required, she was ordered to pay around $600 back. She didn't have it in whole at the time so they worked out a super reasonable payment plan. Somehow she didn't pay the taxes or fees or something in the year she withdrew.

smerka · May 2015

I know very little about estates. I thought you didn't have to pay estate tax on anything less than $5,000,000. Am I wrong or are we talking about something totally different?

hoffse · May 2015

smerka said:
I know very little about estates. I thought you didn't have to pay estate tax on anything less than $5,000,000. Am I wrong or are we talking about something totally different?

It sounds like she's talking about income that the estate itself has produced.

brij2006 · May 2015

hoffse said:

smerka said:
I know very little about estates. I thought you didn't have to pay estate tax on anything less than $5,000,000. Am I wrong or are we talking about something totally different?
It sounds like she's talking about income that the estate itself has produced.

Yeah, it's just the income portion from the estate. Since he had some of his corn in storage (would have been income in 2015 for him when he sold it), we now have to pay the taxes on it since that income had not been taxed yet.
His 401k was taken out pre-tax, so now that it's being cashed out we have to pay the taxes on that as well. We've had the government withhold 30% of his 401k, but we know that it won't be enough.

Estates overall have to be taxed if they're over $4mil (I believe that's the number in 2015).

@hoffse *You don't have to answer this if you don't want to.*
My brother had 90 acres of farm land. Since I am now my parents' sole heir, we are going to place the land into my name legally, but my parents will have lifetime use of the land. So they will farm it at no income to me, and when they retire they will receive the cash rent when someone else farms it. So it will be my asset, but I will not receive any income from it until both of my parents pass. The lawyer explained that this will be beneficial because this way when they pass away it is not part of their estate, and is one less thing to be taxed on since it is not in their name. Their estate is hovering $4mil, so putting this 90 acres into their name will definitely put them above that amount. So we already know it's very likely I will be taxed heavily on their estate when they pass and will more than likely have to sell some of the land in order to pay the estate taxes (don't even get me started how ridiculous I think this is, because they worked their asses off to leave their children a legacy and I will have to sell some of the family farm just to pay the government their share).

Is there anything I'm missing on this, or any reason to believe that this may be a bad idea? So far we think it's the best option to leave it out of my parents' estate, but it is really going to screw with my net worth. It's a $750k asset that I will not be receiving any income from for probably at least (hopefully) 30 more years.

vlagrl29 · May 2015

This is horrible that I really don't remember how I did it back in 2007 - I just remember owing a lot of money around 5k when my first H passed away. I want to say I filed joint with him and then had an estate tax form as well.

jtmh2012 · May 2015

So we already know it's very likely I will be taxed heavily on their estate when they pass and will more than likely have to sell some of the land in order to pay the estate taxes (don't even get me started how ridiculous I think this is, because they worked their asses off to leave their children a legacy and I will have to sell some of the family farm just to pay the government their share).

Just a thought and you can feel free to ignore it. Since you're hoping to have 30 yrs at least before this becomes an issue would it not be possible to take a reasonable estimate of what the taxes would be and start saving for them now so that you wouldn't have to sell the land?

Since it is an income generating farm, couldn't that money even be saved up from that income? Might even be possible at that point for them to gift you up to $10k/yr (I think this is still the number) tax free that you could stash away until tax time.

smerka · May 2015

Someone correct me if I am wrong. I am pretty sure that when you inherit the land your basis will be the value of the land at the time of your brother's death. So let's say it is worth 750,000 now and you sell it for 1,000,000 in 20 years. You would only pay tax on the 250,000 gain.

There has been a lot oftalk of getting rid of the estate tax so it might not be an issue when the time comes.

brij2006 · May 2015

jtmh2012 said:

brij2006 said:
So we already know it's very likely I will be taxed heavily on their estate when they pass and will more than likely have to sell some of the land in order to pay the estate taxes (don't even get me started how ridiculous I think this is, because they worked their asses off to leave their children a legacy and I will have to sell some of the family farm just to pay the government their share).

Just a thought and you can feel free to ignore it. Since you're hoping to have 30 yrs at least before this becomes an issue would it not be possible to take a reasonable estimate of what the taxes would be and start saving for them now so that you wouldn't have to sell the land?

Since it is an income generating farm, couldn't that money even be saved up from that income? Might even be possible at that point for them to gift you up to $10k/yr (I think this is still the number) tax free that you could stash away until tax time.

We've tossed around some different ideas on how to try and prepare ourselves for this. My parents really don't want the tax bill to be a burden on me when they pass. One of the ways to do that is to have a life insurance policy on them that pays me, and I use that money to pay the estate taxes. But my dad has a heart condition that makes his premium insane. I've thought about taking one out on my mom for this reason, since it will not be passed to me until they both pass away. So if she goes first, then I just toss the money aside and let it build until my dad passes away. If she goes 2nd, then I have enough from the life insurance to cover the tax bill.

Another option would be for me to save up. We will have about $200k left over after everything is settled with my brothers' estate and all of our debts are paid. So we've been thinking about putting it into a mutual fund and just letting it sit. That way when something does happen to my parents, that extra money we had just kept compounding interest. According to my calculations, if we never added to it, in 25 years it would be $1.1 million. Even though I'm not sure if that will even be enough to take care of the taxes.

brij2006 · May 2015

smerka said:
Someone correct me if I am wrong. I am pretty sure that when you inherit the land your basis will be the value of the land at the time of your brother's death. So let's say it is worth 750,000 now and you sell it for 1,000,000 in 20 years. You would only pay tax on the 250,000 gain.

There has been a lot oftalk of getting rid of the estate tax so it might not be an issue when the time comes.

You are correct. Whenever I go to sell it, I will be taxed on the difference between what it was worth at the time of his death, and what I sold it for. So far we have no intentions on selling it, that way we can pass it on to our children at some point and they can gain income from it.

hoffse · May 2015

hoffse said:

smerka said:
I know very little about estates. I thought you didn't have to pay estate tax on anything less than $5,000,000. Am I wrong or are we talking about something totally different?
It sounds like she's talking about income that the estate itself has produced.
Yeah, it's just the income portion from the estate. Since he had some of his corn in storage (would have been income in 2015 for him when he sold it), we now have to pay the taxes on it since that income had not been taxed yet.
His 401k was taken out pre-tax, so now that it's being cashed out we have to pay the taxes on that as well. We've had the government withhold 30% of his 401k, but we know that it won't be enough.

Estates overall have to be taxed if they're over $4mil (I believe that's the number in 2015).

@hoffse *You don't have to answer this if you don't want to.*
My brother had 90 acres of farm land. Since I am now my parents' sole heir, we are going to place the land into my name legally, but my parents will have lifetime use of the land. So they will farm it at no income to me, and when they retire they will receive the cash rent when someone else farms it. So it will be my asset, but I will not receive any income from it until both of my parents pass. The lawyer explained that this will be beneficial because this way when they pass away it is not part of their estate, and is one less thing to be taxed on since it is not in their name. Their estate is hovering $4mil, so putting this 90 acres into their name will definitely put them above that amount. So we already know it's very likely I will be taxed heavily on their estate when they pass and will more than likely have to sell some of the land in order to pay the estate taxes (don't even get me started how ridiculous I think this is, because they worked their asses off to leave their children a legacy and I will have to sell some of the family farm just to pay the government their share).
Is there anything I'm missing on this, or any reason to believe that this may be a bad idea? So far we think it's the best option to leave it out of my parents' estate, but it is really going to screw with my net worth. It's a $750k asset that I will not be receiving any income from for probably at least (hopefully) 30 more years.

Without knowing more details, I think it's probably best to consult somebody who does honest to goodness estate tax planning. There are people who do probate and write wills, and there are people who do tax planning. Many will do all of the above, but make sure you're talking to somebody who has planned for some large estates in the past. We have a guy who has planned for estates upwards of a billion dollars. Obviously that's overkill for you guys, but find somebody who is really well-versed in the different options you have.

Offhand, I can think of one pretty big alternative. Ask your lawyer about estate tax exemption portability between spouses. If arranged correctly, that can effectively double the exemption amount for a couple, and that ought to be ample to cover your parents.

I'm also thinking you might want to hire a specialist for this because the numbers he gave you are off. The estate tax exemption for 2015 is actually $5.43 million per person, and it's pegged to inflation, so it will continue to go up every year.

**Not tax/legal advice

brij2006 · May 2015

@hoffse I know he gave us the correct amount for estate tax limit, but I couldn't remember how much it was (I thought it was $4mil). I just knew that adding this land to my parents' estate would put them over that limit.

This lawyer handles a lot of the larger farm accounts in our area, so we know that he knows his stuff (my grandparents are about $7mil and he handles their account very well). However, I don't agree with a few of the things he does so I'm not sure if we will be doing our planning with him or not. My parents actually do not have anything set up besides their will from 1988, before they owned the farm. So they definitely need to get their stuff put together, and thankfully now they're realizing how important that is. Granted now it will only go to me, but they care more now than ever before that they don't leave me with a mess.

Erikan73 · May 2015

I vote for having the accountant work up the figures to figure out if option 2 or 3 will work in everyone's best interest. It's a complicated issue.

hoffse · May 2015

Ah got it - I misunderstood where that number was coming from.

I would still ask about the portability issue. It may be that the property laws in your state aren't conducive to it or that farmland is an exception (I'm not aware of this, but it's entirely possible). Regardless, it's certainly worth asking about.

Here's an article on it:

http://www.ustrust.com/Publish/Content/application/pdf/GWMOL/UST-WSR-Portability-of-estate-tax-exemption.pdf

I'm glad your parents are re-examining their estate. It's something that really should be done at every major life transition, and too few people take the time to do it. I've been after my parents to get theirs taken care of, but they're dragging their feet because they are cheap. My dad doesn't understand why I can't just do it for him.... I keep trying to explain to him that I'm a beneficiary, so of course I can't write myself into a will! That violates a whole litany of ethical rules. I'm also not licensed in their state. Still.... I can't seem to light a fire under them to take care of it. I'm pretty sure their will is from the early 90's.

brij2006 · May 2015

@hoffse Would we need to get something set up that is beyond just a will?

We're just trying to figure out if we can get away with just writing a will right now, or if we should also do full on estate planning since our estate will be worth close to $1mil after everything is settled. After life insurance would pay out on us, it would be $2mil. We want to make sure it's clear as to how that is handled and what is provided for our daughter, and who will manage that money.

Gosh, it's crazy how much things can change quickly. Before this happened we were discussing changing our life insurance beneficiary and that will take care of it. We kept thinking, "our parents will figure things out if something happens." Now I view it soooo differently. I want it all laid out in black and white.

My parents are also setting things up that if something were to happen to me, their farm would go to our daughter instead of my H (to keep the farm in the family). Do I need to get things set up to clarify who manages that, when she receives that, etc? Or is that way too hypothetical?

hoffse · May 2015

brij2006 said:
@hoffse Would we need to get something set up that is beyond just a will?

We're just trying to figure out if we can get away with just writing a will right now, or if we should also do full on estate planning since our estate will be worth close to $1mil after everything is settled. After life insurance would pay out on us, it would be $2mil. We want to make sure it's clear as to how that is handled and what is provided for our daughter, and who will manage that money.

Gosh, it's crazy how much things can change quickly. Before this happened we were discussing changing our life insurance beneficiary and that will take care of it. We kept thinking, "our parents will figure things out if something happens." Now I view it soooo differently. I want it all laid out in black and white.

My parents are also setting things up that if something were to happen to me, their farm would go to our daughter instead of my H (to keep the farm in the family). Do I need to get things set up to clarify who manages that, when she receives that, etc? Or is that way too hypothetical?

I would set up a meeting with somebody to talk through what you want to do. Since this involves farmland, there might be special rules involved that I'm unaware of. Farming always seems to be on the laundry list of exceptions (in general).

I know that when I was a minor, my parents set up a pour-over trust that would be funded upon their death, with the intention that I would be supported through college, and I would then receive 1/3 of the remaining assets at age 25, 1/3 at 35 and 1/3 at 45. They set it up this way because I was still too young for them to have a sense of how I would handle that much money if I received it at a young age. Theoretically they probably could have done that through a will also, but then their will would have been tied up in probate for 20 years, because the estate can't be closed until all the assets are distributed. When it's arranged through a trust, then the will directs that the assets go from the estate to the trust via the pour-over clause. Once that happens, the estate is technically empty and can be shut down. The trust then remains to divvy up the assets according to the terms. In a situation like that, it's a lot faster and a lot cheaper to add a trust on the front end. It saves a lot of time and money on the back end because trusts don't require a court's blessing to be administered.

I think the best thing you can do is talk to an estate planner (who is familiar with farmland) to talk about your wishes. It may be that a will is sufficient for your needs, but maybe not. Taxes are a major consideration, but they aren't the only one, especially if you want to do some age-based planning while she's very little. An estate planner can look at your wishes as a whole and recommend the most efficient way of getting it done. Hopefully you guys will live long enough to revise it over the course of your life. A few years ago my parents dropped the age-based planning because they are now convinced that I could handle that kind of inheritance all at once. But they waited until they were sure before changing it.

**Not legal/tax advice - just examples.

vlagrl29 · May 2015

we have wills for how our daughter will be taken care of if something happened to us and we have primary and secondary beneficiaries on all of our assets. A death in the family really does change how you view things regarding estates

short+sassy · May 2015

hoffse said:
@short+sassy That's the only reason why my parents don't want to do option #3. They know that it means me paying out more in taxes on my portion, but it means more money in our pockets with the estate as a whole vs claiming the income through the estate.
They said they would pay for part of my tax implication to make sure it evens out and we're all paying the same amount in taxes on our portions. But this way just means less money toward the government out of his estate (which is what he would have wanted).

BTW, I'm so glad we all get along through this. I can't even imagine how families do this if they don't get along.

If they're willing to do that, then I think option 3 is probably going to be your best bet. It sounds like you guys have had the accountant look at it, so as long as the numbers are pretty solid I would personally be comfortable with that arrangement. That's not the lawyer in me talking (actually the lawyer in me says not to rely on promises like that), this is the finance side of me talking. It sounds like your relationship with your parents is such that you guys can be open with each other about what the final numbers are, and they would honor that promise they made to you. As long as you're good with that - and you realize that there's probably not much you could do to make them honor that promise if they changed their minds - then I think option 3 wins. It's also the best result for the estate.

The fighting among family members can become horrendous. I've had estates drag on for years because people were fighting over a whopping $10,000.... while spending upwards of $50,000+ out of the estate to fight it legally. The number cruncher in me absolutely cannot understand why anybody would choose to do that. I've also closed estates where we had to keep family members in separate rooms, because there would have been legitimate safety concerns if they were all in the same room together while the checks were being written. I'm so glad you and your family aren't doing any of that. Your lawyer is glad too! Seriously, you guys are probably some of his favorite clients. He'll be so happy that everybody is behaving that he'll want to do a good job for you.

**Again, not tax or legal advice.

So true! Fortunately, I have never been involved personally. But it is always so saddening and sickening to see family members turn into hateful, greedy monsters over someone's estate when this is really a time they should be pulling together.

Although not an estate, I have a friend who went through a divorce like @hoffse is talking about. Their marriage lasted a whopping 6 months before she caught him cheating on her and she left. He was upset she left him. Dragged her through a couple years of legal hell to settle their divorce. Because he had the money to do that and she didn't. She lamented to her divorce attorney, "Why does he keep bringing me to court over and over that cost him (and me)more to fight than their worth?" Her attorney told her she actually sees it all the time. The divorce settlement is the last hold he has and he doesn't want to give up his last piece of control of her, that some people are just like that.

vlagrl29 · May 2015

Luckily I was in charge of the entire estate of my first DH's. His mom passed a year before he did and the only living relatives in the states were his dad and half brother. I had to close his moms estate before I could close his so it was a LOT of work especially when his parents lived in ATL and we lived in KC. I think his dad thought I was going to take half of the parents house since his mom owned half and the dad owned the other half (divorced but living together). I'm not that kind of person at all. WTF am I going to do with a house in ATL? As soon as the estates were all settled my attorney wrote him a letter basically saying I was gifting that half of the house to him so he would own the entire home. I got a call the day he received the letter. He was so happy, surprised, and crying to me in broken english (they were romanian) - saying I'm such a good person and he will pray that all good things will come to me. I'm thinking maybe the half brother put it in his head that I was going to take it away from him. For me it was never about the money. That entire marriage it was never about the money - all I wanted was a husband that wanted to spend quality time with me. Then I ended up with all that to deal with. I remember the half brother calling me trying to get me to send him my DH's passport, drivers license, anything. I wouldn't do it because who knows if I would need it at some point. The mom who had passed owned a home in romania that they were going to have to deal with - I played dumb like I didn't know she owned it because I didn't want anything to do with a romanian house. The big things in life bring out all the drama - birth, death, marriage, and divorce.

brij2006 · May 2015

vlagrl29 said:
Luckily I was in charge of the entire estate of my first DH's. His mom passed a year before he did and the only living relatives in the states were his dad and half brother. I had to close his moms estate before I could close his so it was a LOT of work especially when his parents lived in ATL and we lived in KC. I think his dad thought I was going to take half of the parents house since his mom owned half and the dad owned the other half (divorced but living together). I'm not that kind of person at all. WTF am I going to do with a house in ATL? As soon as the estates were all settled my attorney wrote him a letter basically saying I was gifting that half of the house to him so he would own the entire home. I got a call the day he received the letter. He was so happy, surprised, and crying to me in broken english (they were romanian) - saying I'm such a good person and he will pray that all good things will come to me. I'm thinking maybe the half brother put it in his head that I was going to take it away from him. For me it was never about the money. That entire marriage it was never about the money - all I wanted was a husband that wanted to spend quality time with me. Then I ended up with all that to deal with. I remember the half brother calling me trying to get me to send him my DH's passport, drivers license, anything. I wouldn't do it because who knows if I would need it at some point. The mom who had passed owned a home in romania that they were going to have to deal with - I played dumb like I didn't know she owned it because I didn't want anything to do with a romanian house. The big things in life bring out all the drama - birth, death, marriage, and divorce.

vlagrl29 said:

vlagrl29 said:
*Formatting sucks!!!*

vlagrl29 said:
I can't even imagine having to go through all of that on top of mourning the loss of a husband. But did the family really think you would take them for all they're worth or something? You settled things for your MIL the way that your husband probably would have or wished to.

Right now I have the option to push to sell the farm land he owned, and can decline for his crop sprayer to be bought by my dad for a steep discount. With my 1/3rd, we're talking an extra $230,000 in my pocket. But I'm not. My dad has a use for the sprayer and it will benefit his farming, and instead the farm land will be put into my name being an asset of $750,000. Yeah, I wouldn't be getting any income from that land until my parents pass, but once it becomes my income I will make about $40k/year off of renting it out to a farmer. Which will just add even more to my retirement portfolio.
Financially I would probably be better off forcing them to sell both of those at retail price and putting that extra $230k into a mutual fund and letting it grow. But in the end it isn't about the money. My thoughts are that since I'm their only heir now, it will all come to me at some point anyways. If my dad using the sprayer helps grow his farm and increase productivity, then that's just more money he's able to put into more farm land or equipment to better his farming business. Which he will leave to me someday anyways.
My other thoughts are that we did just fine before without this money, so we don't need it in order to continue to live.

vlagrl29 · May 2015

I think it's great that you and your family are getting along about all of this. It helps. Honestly my situation was all thrown at me with little experience on my part. Thank god for my lawyer to advise me on all of this. I didn't really know his family all that well because they lived so many states away from us. His brother was even calling me during the mourning period acting like I was to give his father half of the life insurance or 401k. as his wife I was entitled to 100% of it and since I was the administrator on the account I took it all. I was so out of it I got really bad anxiety attacks and had to be put on ativan. I was even dealing with closure issues because we weren't living together when all that happened and I ended up going with the wishes of his father and having his body shipped and buried in ATL with family so I never went to the funeral. When I met my now DH I was still having some issues so he suggested we go out to ATL and visit the gravesite and that helped me just let go of everything. I would never wish my circumstances on anyone but I learned a TON during that time.

Estate Tax questions

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