Hurt and mad

TaraW1979 · May 2015

Last Friday I was upset and vented on my FB mother's group that I am a part of. We all have been "friends" since we were pregnant, so for almost 3 years. There are about 35 of us on there and I would say about 25 post regularly. I vented about how my husband was called for an interview for a middle school language arts position in the district that laid me off due to budget cuts in 2010. I said how it is so hard for me to help him prepare for the interview because I am so envious. I also applied and hoped for an interview. DH didn't really intentionally apply for that position, he applied for a special ed one, but they called him for the Language arts one instead. I was also saying that DH is not a strong English teacher and if he got the position I would have to help him a lot. Well, these ladies took my post all wrong. They didn't understand why I would be hurt or upset. I explained I wasn't upset at DH, I was upset with the school district for not considering my rehire. A few ladies began basically attacking me saying that I am wrong for not supporting DH. One person said that I am a spoiled, self-centered, selfish brat! That comment got 5 likes! I was/am so hurt. Another lady posted that I always make it seem my way is the only way, which is so untrue! I have always respected and appreciated everyone's opinions. It was also said that DH will end up leaving me and Liliana will suffer if I don't change!

I just can't believe the things that were said to me. 2 ladies took my side, and I was grateful. Some ladies stayed out of it and didn't post at all. Now, I am not sure if I want to leave the group. I will miss most of the people and I will particularly miss hearing about the babies. Would you leave if you were me? I haven't posted or commented since Friday night when this happened.

I am so thankful for you guys. You seem to understand me and get me so much more than those ladies do. Thank you all for being here for me.

ImperiumWife · May 2015

I have a feeling that none of them are teachers. I completely understand why you would feel the way you would feel. And to me, I don't see why it would come across that you are spoiled. You are voicing your displeasure to them, so that you CAN be supportive of your husband. You aren't not helping him prepare... you are venting so that you can. And if that isn't supportive, I don't know what is.

IMO, you have every right to feel envious, especially since you applied for the position, and he didn't. Everyone has the right to have feelings, it's just what you do with those feelings that matters. And it seems to me, that you are taking the right steps in showing your feelings. You are supporting him, from what I can see. It's not wrong to feel hurt that you didn't get an interview for a position you once had! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I wouldn't make a decision about leaving yet. I would, however, take a break for a while. Make the decision once you have cooled down a bit.

That being said, I am really sorry. I know how it feels to get passed over for a job that you would be perfect for, in a place that you fit in. I"m sure that you will find your right fit sometime soon, but it's not going to be an easy road to get there. I wish you a lot of luck .

Penguin129 · May 2015

I agree with Alyssa. I think you have every right to be upset. I understand where you are coming from. I'm also a former teacher, so maybe that's why. I am learning to hold back more when posting on places other than here because it seems a lot of places don't have a filter for people to not make stupid comments. I 2nd taking a break. I'm sorry you didn't get the interview.

shellyamf · May 2015

Exactly what Alyssa said. I'm in a mom group and rarely vent about personal stuff not kid related. I know how judgy they can be and have been to others. So I come here to you guys. Even if you do judge me, I never feel attacked for sharing. Hugs!!!! I agree on taking a break.