Money Matters
alexnicole452647
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Feeling Judged
My office celebrates everything and with that comes the email asking for money contributions towards gifts. This month is a very tight month for me with 2 weddings, a bach party,3 showers, 3 family birthdays, and fathers day (all outside of work events). Because of this I did not contribute towards my colleague's baby shower (she is having her 2nd). When the card came around there were a list of names on a post-it of who could sign and for obvious reasons my name was not listed. I could not help but to feel awkward and slightly judged for this. Am I a party pooper?
Re: Feeling Judged
I completely understand why you didn't have the money to put towards a gift and that's totally up to you, but I do think it's fair that your name not be included on the group card for the group gift. This is what we do in my office.
It's kind of like a pot luck where some people bring something, but a some don't and still get to eat.. Is that really right/fair to everyone who put time/money into making something that everyone get to partake?
Like @xstatic3333 mentioned you could get your co-worker a card to let her know you're thinking of her.
We celebrate birthdays in my department. The new girl started yesterday and we found out it was her birthday. Short on time, I covered flowers and a card. Today we collected money for flowers - coworker's parent passes away. There's always something.
Slightly off-topic, I REALLY don't understand baby showers for babies that come after #1.
Hello, there! This is certainly an awkward situation. I faced something similar last year. Due to too many commitments during Christmas time (family, friends and outreaches) I was unable to contribute towards a fun activity at my office. But I clarified my situation to my boss and close friends and paid a little later on. Just let this situation pass, friend. Hugs to you!<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
mindovermatter
I agree. Chances are that most people think the same thing, but feel guilty for not participating. People are so funny about money and keeping up the appearance.
Parties and gift giving are WAY out of control in our country.
That said, at my old office we did an ornament exchange at Christmas time with a $5 limit. Everybody just bought a $5 (or less) ornament and wrapped it up and we each selected one wrapped item from the lot of them. I am thrifty AKA cheap, so I just took a random, but nice ornament off my own tree that I didn't really care about and I gave that at the exchange.
Here are some lines I've used to get out of compulsory gift-giving at the office...
1. "DH and I have decided to give more to the less fortunate this year..." Which is actually true.
2. "I am going to honor Susie's new baby in another way..." and, then I would do a card. Or, a small bottle of lotion for a few dollars with a note about the new mom being pampered.
I do think it's unfortunate that we are often forced to participate in gift giving. I was faced with that this year in my son's pre-school class. One mom emailed all the families and was like, "For $10 from each family we can buy the teachers each a gift and give the pre-school a 'legacy' gift." First of all, I'm paying $xxx each month for my kid to attend pre-school, why is it my job to further furnish the pre-school with more stuff that they ought to buy on their own? Secondly, what if I don't like the group gift that this mom was going to select? And, thirdly, while I CAN afford $10, I know at least one mom there who couldn't afford $10. Now, everybody's in a bind. As it turns out, I DID participate, mostly because I didn't want my kid to be the only kid who didn't have his little face photo on the card this mom had made. So, awkward...
I don't like this and I don't think you are being a party pooper. We have lots of things at my office too, but fortunately everybody passes around a card to sign regardless of who gave what. I mean....singling somebody out by not letting them sign a card because they didn't pitch in the same $5? Seems petty to me. Does everybody really need to make sure they get credit and you don't? To me, that really takes the spirit out of gift-giving.
I typically do pitch in, but it really doesn't bother me that the people that work next to me don't and they still get to sign the card. It's not as if the recipient really looks to see who all signed and who didn't. If they do, they aren't the kind of person I'd want to give a gift to anyways.