Am I being mean?

bri123abc · January 2015

Hi everyone

I have a question please and thanks.

Since my brother married my SIL they send me a birthday card with a gift every year and she also sends me a "Happy Birthday Sister in Law" card in the mail.

Is it mean that I do not do the same and just shoot her off a quick text on her birthday? It's not about the money...I have more than they do.

She rarely responds to my Happy Birthday texts or will just answer "thanks".

What do you all think?

joleri23 · January 2015

It's only mean if you have bad motives for not doing the same. Are you not sending her a card and/or gift to be spiteful, or just because that's not what you do? We're all different. I love sending people cards but I know that most people don't roll that way. I think it's polite to acknowledge someone's birthday, even via text, so I don't think you're being mean. Do YOU think you're being mean? If so, you probably are.

VOR · January 2015

Some people are card people, some are not. If you aren't, that's fine.

i'm not really sure what kind of response you're expecting, though, to a happy birthday text. I think "thanks" is perfectly acceptable, and even no response is really fine too. It's JUST a text.

Erikan73 · January 2015

As long as you are treating her the same as you do others, no issue. Now if you mailed out cards to everyone in the family & just sent her a text, that would be different. I like to try to remember to send cards because I think it's nice for someone to get something in the mail that isn't junk mail or a bill. But that's just me, I'm a card person.

GilliC · January 2015

bri123abc said:

Hi everyone

I have a question please and thanks.

Since my brother married my SIL they send me a birthday card with a gift every year and she also sends me a "Happy Birthday Sister in Law" card in the mail.

Is it mean that I do not do the same and just shoot her off a quick text on her birthday? It's not about the money...I have more than they do.

She rarely responds to my Happy Birthday texts or will just answer "thanks".

What do you all think?

What the ever-loving f***?! Will you get over your friggin' sister-in-law already?

Yes, you are being mean. Not because you don't send her a birthday card or a thank you note, but because every time she does something nice for you (in spite of the fact that you treat her like crap), you try to read some into it. Of course she doesn't reply much to your birthday text. She says thank you. What do you expect? A "Thank you for the SMS" card?

englishtrish1 · January 2015

You have way more issues than cards and texts. However, I will answer the generic card vs text question. I have a good friend who sends cards for every occasion, it annoys the shit out of me. I send texts or ecards, which I'm sure annoys her. Both of us respond with "thanks"

VOR · January 2015

I would so, so, so love to know the BILs and SILs side to all of this.

janined22 · January 2015

bri123abc said:

Hi everyone

I have a question please and thanks.

Since my brother married my SIL they send me a birthday card with a gift every year and she also sends me a "Happy Birthday Sister in Law" card in the mail.

You should feel grateful that she takes the time to even think of you and send you cards/gifts for your birthday!!!

Is it mean that I do not do the same and just shoot her off a quick text on her birthday? It's not about the money...I have more than they do.

Yes it is very mean that you do not do the same for them, she makes a very big effort every year even though you have been a total bitch to her to send you cards/gifts and all you can do is send her a text.

She rarely responds to my Happy Birthday texts or will just answer "thanks".
At least she replies, I wouldn't even reply to you

What do you all think?

I think that you are a mean bitch, and I hate saying those words because people usually come here for good advice and I don't like to be mean but you deserve no less. I read your previous posts and you are no walk in the park. That poor woman has tried to have a good relationship with you since the beginning and you have been nothing but mean and just horrible to her. You are lucky she invites you to events and lets you see her kids, I wouldn't let you get near them.
You need to seriously take a good look at yourself and start changing the person you see in the mirror because if you don't; slowly you will end up losing everyone's respect toward you.
I surely hope your kids don't learn your behavior.

bri123abc · January 2015

For more background info please read my post from last year titled "Inlaw Question" under the Married Life category. It's the same SIL

puppylove2014 · January 2015

I'm calling MUD. You have been told MULTIPLE times that you are an ass and your SIL is not. How many more times do you need to be told?

Yes, your SIL is thoughtful, sweet, and polite. You are rude, self centered, and possibly have an issue with comprehension. Happy?

nurse714 · January 2015

bri123abc said:

For more background info please read my post from last year titled "Inlaw Question" under the Married Life category. It's the same SIL

We don't need any more background info. I hope this is mud but if it isn't you are obsessed with you SIL and it's weird. It's the same thing with you over and over. Your SIL is sweet and you're mean and rude. What advice do you want? My only hope is that your brother picks up on how you treat his wife and cuts you out of his life.

Erikan73 · January 2015

I took the time to look at your prior posts. Not sure if you are having issues with multiple SIL or it's all the same SIL. I'm guessing it's the same one. I think you are making a bigger deal then you need to with many of the issues regarding her. So what that she likes to send cards for special occasions and makes her kids write thank you notes. OMG she's trying to teach her kids a lost art of communication & being polite. Appreciate that she takes the time & money to pick out a card, write it out, put postage on it & send it to you. That doesn't mean just sending her a text is wrong either. You do what is your style, and she does what is her style. I'm not sure what your issues are with her, it doesn't seem like you've really ever given her a chance.

VOR · January 2015

bri123abc said:

For more background info please read my post from last year titled "Inlaw Question" under the Married Life category. It's the same SIL

This doesn't really help your case. Only makes you look worse.

NoneForUs · January 2015

Before I responded to this thread, I looked at your other threads about your SIL.

I don't know why you cannot be more polite and kind to your SIL. Kudos to her for being respectful and mature even though you are very rude to her.

There is no need for this hostility at all. Grow up and stop acting like a middle school bully.

Disneygeek77 · June 2015

@dutchgirl76 here too.

Snarky01 · June 2015

It's not "mean" but if she send YOU a card it's nice to reciprocate. Some people just do not respond to texts as much as others.

Am I being mean?

Re: Am I being mean?

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