Putting LO Down

Sewilson33 · June 2015

I'm curious to know what your methods are to putting your LO down for a nap and a night for bed.
Sophia is 14 weeks and she is still not fully sleeping through the night and fights napping if it's not in my arms. So I'm trying to find other moms tips on what you do to make the putting down process work for you.

For naps: She has a bad habit of falling asleep when Bfing and since I plan on stopping BFing soon I need to stop this asap. Otherwise she will fall asleep when bounced in my arms or with her pacifier as long as I'm holding her. I don't mind holding her until she goes down for a nap but at what point should that stop? Then the transfer to put her in her crib or pack n play almost always wakes her up no matter how long she has been sleeping.

At night:
She gets a 6 oz bottle of formula at night. Normally I start her bottle in the den until she drinks 2 oz and then move to the bedroom. This way she doesn't fall asleep right away. Then she sits in the rocking chair with me and drinks until she is about to doze off. She then pulls away and closes her eyes and falls right to bed BUT in my arms still.

What do you do? When did you start sleep training? How did you change your routine?

caseyandlizzie · June 2015

Will didn't start sleeping through the night until 6 or 7 months. Also, he only napped if I was holding him until 5 months, he did fine at my IL's when they watched him, but if I was there, he wouldn't sleep. We ended up doing sleep training starting at 6 months, and that really helped, but I'm not sure he would have been ready before then.

caseyandlizzie · June 2015

Also, I BF and he almost always fell asleep while nursing, which made transferring him to his rnp or bed impossible since he would wake up immediately when set down and would not go back to sleep. We started a routine of bath and story time when we did sleep training and have pretty much the same routine over a year later. It works for us.

Sewilson33 · June 2015

@caseyandlizzie I just started the bath time routine before bed and it seems to calm her before she starts her bottle.
From what you said, maybe 3 1/2 months is a little young to be expecting her to sleep for 7-8 hours. She did it for a week and then when back to 3-4 hour stretches.

brij2006 · June 2015

I may get flamed for this, or called a mean mommy. But we started sleep training at 13 weeks (per Dr approval). She was showing signs of rediness, so we went for it.

Naps:

She had been napping in her swing or on us. So we actually did the transition cold turkey. I will admit that it was rough and hell. But we wouldn't put her down until she was acting sleepy, and would put her in her crib. We would play with her, keep her entertained and active until she started rubbing her eyes or not wanting to play anymore, then would lay her in the crib with no rocking and turned on her mobile (lights and sounds aquarium). She would usually cry, but we went in at 3, 5, and 10 minutes to sooth (not pick up). If it lasted more than 30 minutes, we would get her up and try again later when she was more sleepy. That first week of naps were horrendous. She went from napping like clockwork, to only small spurts of naps. But each day got better and better, and after a week we could put her down during her usual nap times and she naps for 1 hour in the morning and 3 in the afternoon, again. After a week or so we started to no longer turn on her mobile when we put her down. Now she chatters herself to sleep or sucks her thumb.

It's also really really nice, because now we can just plop her down just about anywhere and she will nap. No rocking, no singing, no nursing to sleep.

Bedtime:

At 3 months we transitioned her to her crib, and that's when we started a strict nighttime routine. At 7 she gets a bath, then it's lotion, a short book while in the rocking chair (but I don't rock), and then she nurses (still don't rock in the chair). Occasionally she will fall asleep while nursing, but usually she doesn't. Then I put her down in her crib. Again, we did CIO with nighttime as well, but this was a much easier transition for us. Very rarely have we needed to let her CIO, but she's usually exhausted and ready for bed.

At 4 months we had the sleep regression, and she no longer slept through the night. I got up and nursed her for 1 week. Then after that we did CIO for her middle of the night wakeups. She was getting up twice throughout the night. I did CIO with the first one, then about 4 days later we let her cry during the 2nd wakeup (again, going in after 3, then 5, then 10 minutes). She's been STTN ever since.
However, she STTN before that regression, so we knew she wasn't waking up because she needed anything. And when she woke up during that week, she would just use me as a pacifier to fall back asleep. She wasn't actually eating much.

ETA: When we decided how we wanted to do nap and bedtime routines, we kept in mind what would work best if we were out and about or at other peoples' houses. I didn't want to have to spend 20 minutes putting my child down for a nap when visiting people, or needing a place to rock her to sleep. So I kept it very simple and minimal. I also kept in mind that the more complex I made it, then that just meant the more things I would have to eventually have to cut out.
So if we had done sound machine, fan, fluffy blanket, 3 colors of pacis, stuffed dog, etc. Then it just meant all the more things I would need to lug along if she was ever not napping at home.

zamboni00 · June 2015

Don't listen to me. .. i nurse my two to sleep at bedtime.

For naps, I haven't had to nurse them to sleep for a while. It still happens on occasion, if they are hungry and sleepy, but not every nap or even every day.

What helped me was leaning about wake times & following their cues.

I found a chart that outlines how much daytime sleep, in how many naps, and how long they typically can go between naps, at each age. That really helped to help figure out when they would be sleepy.

Following that chart, I've been able to help them to calm down before they are tired, so they fall asleep very quickly, and without tears (99% of the time).

CIO isn't something I am wanting to do- not because I don't believe in it, per se- but mostly because with the two, they feed off of each other & I'm pretty sure they would make themselves sick before calming down.

I wish I had really tried with the 'drowsy but awake' earlier.

But what we do works for us. So we will continue until it doesn't.

For your viewing pleasure, my awesome nappers sleeping in the beach while we were on vacation!

zamboni00 · June 2015

Also- I believe we have allowed ourselves to be flexible. Babies nap when tired. Anywhere, anyhow.

We don't have official nap times, so no need to rush home or anything. Maybe it's just because I have 2, but I would lose my mind

Sewilson33 · June 2015

@zamboni00 - Sophia is pretty easy to put down to nap when she is tired. Pretty much just bounce, rock or give her a pacifier and she is out in a few mins. She can fall asleep with any noise. It's just the whole putting her down after she is out.

My newest issue is her waking up at 4 am and not wanting to sleep for more than 30 minute increments from 4-6am unless she is held or in bed. This is going to be a big hurdle for us bc this momma can't handle this little morning fit.

brij2006 · June 2015

Maybe try giving a paci, then bounce for just a bit so she knows what is going on. Then place set her down while she's still awake, but is drowsy?

zamboni00 · June 2015

My babies napped on me for a while. A long while. At some point they stopped waking when I put them down, but there wasn't anything I did differently, unfortunately. Like I said- don't listen to me

somehow, we ended in a happy sleep place, but it was more in spite of me than because of me.

I've also found it to be true that when they are learning something big, their sleep goes to crap. My STTNer since 6w woke 4 or 5 tones a night for a week. I didn't change anything, but she's back to STTN.

At some point I stopped stressing about sleep. That was probably the best thing I've ever done as a parent. I stressed for a long while about everything sleep- probably in an unhealthy way.

So yeah- don't listen to me.

Venti29 · June 2015

brij2006 said:
I may get flamed for this, or called a mean mommy. But we started sleep training at 13 weeks (per Dr approval). She was showing signs of rediness, so we went for it.

Naps:
She had been napping in her swing or on us. So we actually did the transition cold turkey. I will admit that it was rough and hell. But we wouldn't put her down until she was acting sleepy, and would put her in her crib. We would play with her, keep her entertained and active until she started rubbing her eyes or not wanting to play anymore, then would lay her in the crib with no rocking and turned on her mobile (lights and sounds aquarium). She would usually cry, but we went in at 3, 5, and 10 minutes to sooth (not pick up). If it lasted more than 30 minutes, we would get her up and try again later when she was more sleepy. That first week of naps were horrendous. She went from napping like clockwork, to only small spurts of naps. But each day got better and better, and after a week we could put her down during her usual nap times and she naps for 1 hour in the morning and 3 in the afternoon, again. After a week or so we started to no longer turn on her mobile when we put her down. Now she chatters herself to sleep or sucks her thumb.
It's also really really nice, because now we can just plop her down just about anywhere and she will nap. No rocking, no singing, no nursing to sleep.

Bedtime:
At 3 months we transitioned her to her crib, and that's when we started a strict nighttime routine. At 7 she gets a bath, then it's lotion, a short book while in the rocking chair (but I don't rock), and then she nurses (still don't rock in the chair). Occasionally she will fall asleep while nursing, but usually she doesn't. Then I put her down in her crib. Again, we did CIO with nighttime as well, but this was a much easier transition for us. Very rarely have we needed to let her CIO, but she's usually exhausted and ready for bed.
At 4 months we had the sleep regression, and she no longer slept through the night. I got up and nursed her for 1 week. Then after that we did CIO for her middle of the night wakeups. She was getting up twice throughout the night. I did CIO with the first one, then about 4 days later we let her cry during the 2nd wakeup (again, going in after 3, then 5, then 10 minutes). She's been STTN ever since.
However, she STTN before that regression, so we knew she wasn't waking up because she needed anything. And when she woke up during that week, she would just use me as a pacifier to fall back asleep. She wasn't actually eating much.

ETA: When we decided how we wanted to do nap and bedtime routines, we kept in mind what would work best if we were out and about or at other peoples' houses. I didn't want to have to spend 20 minutes putting my child down for a nap when visiting people, or needing a place to rock her to sleep. So I kept it very simple and minimal. I also kept in mind that the more complex I made it, then that just meant the more things I would have to eventually have to cut out.
So if we had done sound machine, fan, fluffy blanket, 3 colors of pacis, stuffed dog, etc. Then it just meant all the more things I would need to lug along if she was ever not napping at home.

This really is something else. I'm normally in the do what works for you camp, but FFS she's so young.

I CIO, so I'm not judging you on that, I'm just shocked that you can unattach yourself and her needs while she's so young.

So. Young. Sleep training at 13 weeks? Thirteen weeks.

Wow.

Venti29 · June 2015

At six or seven months, (I can't remember exactly) we made our routine solid... bath, lotion, bottle, book, bed.

At two it's the same, some nights are better than others but come bath time they know what's going to happen.

brij2006 · June 2015

Venti29 said:

I may get flamed for this, or called a mean mommy. But we started sleep training at 13 weeks (per Dr approval). She was showing signs of rediness, so we went for it.

Naps:
She had been napping in her swing or on us. So we actually did the transition cold turkey. I will admit that it was rough and hell. But we wouldn't put her down until she was acting sleepy, and would put her in her crib. We would play with her, keep her entertained and active until she started rubbing her eyes or not wanting to play anymore, then would lay her in the crib with no rocking and turned on her mobile (lights and sounds aquarium). She would usually cry, but we went in at 3, 5, and 10 minutes to sooth (not pick up). If it lasted more than 30 minutes, we would get her up and try again later when she was more sleepy. That first week of naps were horrendous. She went from napping like clockwork, to only small spurts of naps. But each day got better and better, and after a week we could put her down during her usual nap times and she naps for 1 hour in the morning and 3 in the afternoon, again. After a week or so we started to no longer turn on her mobile when we put her down. Now she chatters herself to sleep or sucks her thumb.
It's also really really nice, because now we can just plop her down just about anywhere and she will nap. No rocking, no singing, no nursing to sleep.

Bedtime:
At 3 months we transitioned her to her crib, and that's when we started a strict nighttime routine. At 7 she gets a bath, then it's lotion, a short book while in the rocking chair (but I don't rock), and then she nurses (still don't rock in the chair). Occasionally she will fall asleep while nursing, but usually she doesn't. Then I put her down in her crib. Again, we did CIO with nighttime as well, but this was a much easier transition for us. Very rarely have we needed to let her CIO, but she's usually exhausted and ready for bed.
At 4 months we had the sleep regression, and she no longer slept through the night. I got up and nursed her for 1 week. Then after that we did CIO for her middle of the night wakeups. She was getting up twice throughout the night. I did CIO with the first one, then about 4 days later we let her cry during the 2nd wakeup (again, going in after 3, then 5, then 10 minutes). She's been STTN ever since.
However, she STTN before that regression, so we knew she wasn't waking up because she needed anything. And when she woke up during that week, she would just use me as a pacifier to fall back asleep. She wasn't actually eating much.

ETA: When we decided how we wanted to do nap and bedtime routines, we kept in mind what would work best if we were out and about or at other peoples' houses. I didn't want to have to spend 20 minutes putting my child down for a nap when visiting people, or needing a place to rock her to sleep. So I kept it very simple and minimal. I also kept in mind that the more complex I made it, then that just meant the more things I would have to eventually have to cut out.
So if we had done sound machine, fan, fluffy blanket, 3 colors of pacis, stuffed dog, etc. Then it just meant all the more things I would need to lug along if she was ever not napping at home.
This really is something else. I'm normally in the do what works for you camp, but FFS she's so young. I CIO, so I'm not judging you on that, I'm just shocked that you can unattach yourself and her needs while she's so young. So. Young. Sleep training at 13 weeks? Thirteen weeks. Wow.

I think for us it was a bit different because she wouldn't sleep on us for more than 5 minutes, and daycare was transitioning her to the PNP for naps. So we knew we were going to have to cut napping in the swing, cold turkey at home on the weekends. We really honestly watched her cues. We didn't just put her down in her crib at 10am because we thought that sounded like a good nap time, then let her cry. It was always done when she was full, had a clean diaper, and was acting sleepy. For the most part she would fuss and watch her mobile till she fell asleep. There was only 1 time where she truly cried, and we got her out of the crib after 30 minutes of trying to go in and soothe after the 3, 5, and 10 minute mark. However, she would only have short naps because she was used to the movement of the swing. So it would only be 30 minutes, and she was back awake. We would take her out of the crib, and have her up till she was ready to go down again. Then repeat. It wasn't until a little over a week into doing that, that she finally started napping for longer stretches.

For MOTN, she was STTN at that point. So we really didn't need to do CIO until after the 4 month sleep regression, which we just did this past weekend.
However, she has very obvious cries for what she needs. The other night she was up at 12:30am because of a storm. It was obvious she was scared and awake. So I went in and got her, then let her comfort nurse.

Maybe I should clarify it as we do a "let her figure it out for a few minutes." We don't just go running in there when she makes a peep. We let her chatter or whine for a bit before going in. Some nights she will wake up and chatter for 10 minutes before falling back to sleep. Other nights she will wake up screaming and with a hungry cry. Then I go in and get her. Noise doesn't always mean she needs me. We feel it's okay for her to talk herself back to sleep, and if she needs something her cry is much much different than if she's just awake and talking to herself.

pb&fluff · June 2015

We didn't do CIO until he was about 8 months. We had fought a hard battle, doing everything but CIO. We were getting little to no sleep and were desperate. However, until about 6 or 7 months, he was waking up 1-2 times a night. And downing a full bottle. So we kept up with that until he was still waking but barely eating, and we knew he was waking out of habit. We rocked him to sleep until we did CIO. It was how we felt comfortable putting him down since we didn't want to do CIO (at all, but look what happened). I think you would be asking too much of a 3.5 month old to go to sleep on their own. Some people are lucky and their babies are excellent sleepers. However, that's the exception and not the rule. He slept in a swing for awhile because he also would wake 20 min after putting him down. He wouldn't sleep in the crib at daycare, so he napped in a swing for months. All that to say, we had a horrible sleep experience. We know we will likely do CIO earlier next time. The nap thing is hard, and for months (around your daughter's age), he only took 30 min naps. She will work through it, you just have to bare with her.

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