Crazy Sister In Law

Shirlz23 · July 2015

I'm really upset about the way my sister in law is behaving. She has been with my older brother for about 10 years now and they have a beautiful little girl so it pains me to see her treat him the way she does. She tells my brother that she cannot wait for a phone call saying he died in a accident or something. That put an entirely different light on her. I decided today that I wanted all my friends and family to come over for a game night and dinner this weekend. Her response to my invite: "AGAIN? Didn't you have a game night a few nights ago? You know what...No...I don't want to." The statement that we had a game night a few nights ago was in reference to my husband inviting one of his friends and my brother over to check out a new board game we had bought. It wasn't at all a game night and I wasn't even there most of the night either. That same night my brother had asked her if she wanted him to bring home some of my cooking for her so she wouldn't have to cook. Her response was "Why wasn't I invited? Am I not cool enough to hang out?" He asked us if she could come over. We said of course she may and her response was "as long as we're not playing that stupid board game you were talking about then sure." Are you kidding me cunt? Not only does it sicken me that she would say horrible things to my brother like that but then she has to control every event that goes on in my house? She has her family over every day. Her sister and her brother and everyone on her side get to see the niece all the time. They even get to travel with her and take her to cool places which we want to be able to do too. I am afraid my SIL is teaching my niece to hate my husband and I when all we want is to have a relationship. Every time my niece sees me or my husband she acts horribly towards us while we see pictures on fb of her with my SIL's family members and she is all smiles. Anyway just very hurt today when all I wanted was a get together for games and food. Nothing too terrible about that right? I want a relationship with my brother and my niece and would love a relationship with my SIL if she could get on some meds or something. Guess I'm just here to complain and find people in similar situations who can make me feel better.

catsareniice1 · July 2015

It sounds like she has narcissistic personality disorder. She's a nightmare!

joleri23 · July 2015

You can't change someone else's behavior. Yes, it stinks that your SIL might be turning your niece against you, but there's nothing you can do about it. Repeat that to yourself every time you get worked up about it. The best thing you can do is change your expectations for your relationship for her. She obviously has some sort of problem with you - imagined or otherwise. Cut your losses and move on.

Trust me, I dealt with this myself for about four years and I'm just now coming to the conclusion that it's not worth it. I too have a niece involved but I've finally become so fed up with SIL's behavior that I don't care anymore. I'll send a birthday card and Christmas card, and maybe a small gift at those times, but that's all the relationship it seems I'll ever have with our niece. Oh well.

Erikan73 · July 2015

Have you asked your brother why he puts up with that? And does he realize that his daughter will start to treat him and others based on how her mom treats people.

Shirlz23 · July 2015

She didn't used to be this way though. Honestly she once confided in me that her father beat the hell out of her because she fell in love with my brother. What?! Why would a father beat his grown daughter for loving someone....especially someone like my brother? He works HARD at all times to be able to support them. He doesn't abuse her in any way shape or form. He is the best father towards my niece. His whole world revolves around his wife and child but somehow he isnt good enough for that family? All he wants is for her to be happy but it seems like nothing will ever keep her happy because her family is unhappy with her choice for some reason. Her family is toxic.

Shirlz23 · July 2015

I know my niece is being subjected to this personality and it is upsetting to know that she won't know that that is not how people behave. My brother is usually not the type who would put up with behavior like this from anyone but my SIL has been so emotionally erratic lately that the idea of her running off with our niece and us never seeing her again seems plausible and he probably knows that. He loves her and has loved her for years and they need to work this out. I am not willing to write her off at all because I think she just needs some help. I just don't know how anybody should go about telling my bro to get her help or if we just stay out all together.

jtmh2012 · July 2015

I compare this to when people say they have problems with their MIL on here. What is your brother doing about the situation? Does he just sit there and let her treat you like this or does he tell her it isn't acceptable for her to be like that toward you? If he doesn't do anything, then you have a brother problem.

Shirlz23 · July 2015

Oh he lets her know what he thinks about the behavior. All that does is make her worse because then she acts like a victim. It's maddening.

Shirlz23 · July 2015

Believe my brother isn't afraid to stand up to her craziness. The only reason I am is because I don't want to put a strain on their obviously already strained relationship.

Erikan73 · July 2015

If she hasn't been this way all the time, maybe it's time for her to go to a doctor for a check up. Maybe she has some sort of a hormone/chemical imbalance that has caused her emotions & behavior to change. Or possibly she needs to see a shrink to deal with the issues with her father. She may be taking her anger she has to her father out on you because she's afraid to react to him because of what he did in the past.

Shirlz23 · July 2015

I'm thinking so too Erikan. I need to have a good heart to heart talk with my brother and get him to see she needs help. I really hope he is able to get her to see a professional without it causing issues. Thanks a lot for the feedback.

GilliC · July 2015

As PP mentioned, at the end of the day it really is your brother's problem. My advice would be to ensure your brother knows how you're feeling, and discuss things objectively with real-world examples.

Regardless of what he does, let him know that you're there for him and that you want to be part of his life. It sounds like she's going through something weird, and he probably needs some outside support. However, if things don't change, it might mean cutting her out and limiting your relationship to him and your niece.

Crazy Sister In Law

Re: Crazy Sister In Law

Choose Another Board

Search Boards