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Facebook and unofficial wedding photos

I am so embarrassed for my niece (probably because she doesn't have enough sense to be embarrassed for herself).  Since everyone is a professional photographer these days (yet everyone is still forking over big money for the official wedding photographer?), she had some photos that somebody was floating around the room taking while the bridal party was getting dressed for the ceremony. 

We have:

Mother of the bride zipping up the dress in the back and the brides bare back and purple underwear showing.

Front view of same action showing bride with her hands holding up her boobs as dress is going into place.

Mother of the bride in the early stages of make-up, i.e. putting on foundation and looking about 20 years older than she is!  I would kill my daughter if she put a photo of me out on facebook without my entire "face" on!

People are squatting in unattractive ways, working themselves into bras, pulling their underwear out of their rear-ends, etc. etc. 

Then there's the groom with his ball cap on backward looking about 13 years old attaching his clip on bow tie.

The list goes on and on.  Today's brides blow money like they are Kate Middleton on these little mini-coronations that are the modern American wedding, but act like a bunch of hillbillies and allow that to be photographed and then post all that on facebook for their 1000+ "friends" to view. 

I'm just getting old, I guess!  LOL!


Re: Facebook and unofficial wedding photos

  • I'm the weirdo in our present day society who rarely takes pictures of anything, lol.

    But, yeah.  I think a few "carefully staged" getting ready for the wedding photos can be nice, but the last thing I'd want is friends taking random photos...whether I was a bride or BM...that might catch me in an unflattering or even risqué position.

  • Yeah this is very common.  My husband and I got ready together privately.  We weren't into making a show out of pretending that we hadn't lived together, and obviously slept together, before marriage.  The night before, we spent the night together.  We had casual down time before out wedding.  I did my own and hair and makeup while he showered and shaved.  He zipped up my dress and helped fasten my veil.  I helped with his tie and cuff links.  There was no one there to take pictures.  I have no idea what people do with "getting ready" photos.  Do you really want those around your house?  I had zero desire for those, but I realize I'm strange in modern society.  
  • Ewww gross. I would be furious if a getting dressed picture of my body ended up on FB. That's a serious violation of privacy and of trust, IMHO. And, there's people on my FB that I wouldn't want seeing that - like my family, my ex-boyfriends, and my pastors.........

    I'm sure the older women would be MORTIFIED if they knew.

  • She posted these awful pictures HERSELF!  Serious violation of HERSELF, I guess!  She doesn't have enough sense to be mortified.  I'm all the time getting treated to photos of her in various stages of undress, including selfies in her bikini.  It is like she does not understand that facebook is not private, no matter what your settings.  And with 1000 friends, many of whom were just random chance encounters at whatever party she happened to be at, or friends of friends of friends, everyone and their brother are seeing photos she puts out there. 

    And it's not like these are all that "sexualized" ... they're just tacky.  Like walking down the aisle with toilet paper stuck to your shoe or a tag you forgot to cut off your gown! 

  • It's for attention.  She's one of those.
  • Here's the thing...I agree with you, OP, totally. But, I have to ask, what are you gonna do about it?

    Basically, you are in a place to come to the defense of other people and their lives and bodies and privacy. Are you going to say something to the niece or let it go? Maybe it doesn't change anything and the pics stay on FB, but I feel like to sit by and do nothing to defend others is kind of bad too. Like, why bother to complain, but not do anything while people are violated?

    I'm not suggesting you yell at her or embarrass her publically. But you could say, "Listen niece, some other women and I are unhappy that there are private pictures of them/us on FB. We feel very violated by this. Please would you remove the photos of all the ladies who are in their underwear, bras, no make-up, or are in potentially embarrassing dressing or make-up phases? These are private moments, for many people. Thank you for respecting this and your family and friends."

  • Here's the thing...I agree with you, OP, totally. But, I have to ask, what are you gonna do about it?

    Basically, you are in a place to come to the defense of other people and their lives and bodies and privacy. Are you going to say something to the niece or let it go? Maybe it doesn't change anything and the pics stay on FB, but I feel like to sit by and do nothing to defend others is kind of bad too. Like, why bother to complain, but not do anything while people are violated?

    I'm not suggesting you yell at her or embarrass her publically. But you could say, "Listen niece, some other women and I are unhappy that there are private pictures of them/us on FB. We feel very violated by this. Please would you remove the photos of all the ladies who are in their underwear, bras, no make-up, or are in potentially embarrassing dressing or make-up phases? These are private moments, for many people. Thank you for respecting this and your family and friends."

    This. I also send PMs to strangers (friends of friends) who post public photos of children that show up in my newsfeed. Especially when it's evident that the kids are clearly not their offspring (ex. teachers, camp counselors, youth group leaders, etc). It's a scary world out there. If I don't know you and I can see your photos of minors, so can lots of preditors and pedophiles.
    HeartlandHustle | Personal Finance and Betterment Blog  
  • So many people forget, that once on the internet, it's out there for life, and you no longer own it. Even if you have your photos set up for private and not able to share, there is nothing preventing one of your friends from using their mouse & copying that photo and putting out there for everyone and anyone to see. And depending on what you do for a living or plan to do in the future, those photos can come back to hurt yo.

    I didn't have my photographer come early because I didn't want those half ready photos.

  • Erikan73 said:

    I didn't have my photographer come early because I didn't want those half ready photos.

    I think this is more a problem of the fact that everybody thinks they're a photographer these days.  A good professional would not have taken some of those pictures or at a minimum not passed them on to the client.  We have some getting ready photos from our wedding, but they're nothing like what's described here.
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  • jtmh2012 said:
    Erikan73 said:

    I didn't have my photographer come early because I didn't want those half ready photos.

    I think this is more a problem of the fact that everybody thinks they're a photographer these days.  A good professional would not have taken some of those pictures or at a minimum not passed them on to the client.  We have some getting ready photos from our wedding, but they're nothing like what's described here.
    You hit the nail on the head ... everyone thinks they are Ansel Adams these days and those stupid camera phones are just completely trashing what is left of polite society and etiquette.  These poor people never had either, but in the not so distant past, photos had to be sent off, developed, sent back, and put in an physical album.  There was much more of a filter on what people saw of your life.  I'm just so embarrassed for her and for my poor mother who has to witness her only granddaughter's slide into an undeniable lower caste.  Just sayin. 
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