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LizRN2007
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Messy custody case with Fiance's Ex..
So my fiance (we have been together 2 1/2yrs) got served with papers from his ex girlfriend for full custody and support of their almost 4yr old daughter. They were never married and only together about 3 mos after the child was born. They however came up with a mutual verbal agreement regarding the child. They have been doing a 50/50 arrangement since they split up. My fiance has never been late or not picked up his child and has never had any criminal or drug charges or anything that would make him unfit. He has worked full time and provided his daughter with what she needs during his time and paid for childcare while he was working. I have been in the childs life since she was about 15 months old and she has also developed a sibling like relationship with my children. This all started I believe when we got engaged. She had always wanted to get back with him and i think this was the reality that wasnt going to happen. He has always treated her with respect and co parented very well and he was crushed that she is basically trying to take his child away for selfish reasons. She lied on the documents saying that the child has continuously resided with her. He is devastated, and i am very frustrated. We put down a retainer to fight this but I guess I am just looking for some advice or if anyone knows what the likelihood is that they will be able to remain 50/50 like they have been doing...
Re: Messy custody case with Fiance's Ex..
I can't offer any advice on the outcome, but I will say that situations like this aren't unusual.
At our old house there was a guy across the street who his wife had walked out with him and left him the house. The two kids went between both houses depending on who they felt like being with at the time, but he was paying her child support. Eventually he found a new girlfriend and she moved in, the ex-wife found out about it and filed to have the child support raised about a year before he'd no longer have to pay it all because the new girlfriend was living in "her" house.
Good luck!
Your lawyer will probably advise you of this, but starting pulling all records for the child care or other items he's paid for. If his child support isn't payroll deducted, get records to show that he pays his child support on time.
When it comes to your wedding, make sure you plan it for a weekend that is his, so his ex can't pull a "well it's my weekend and I made plans" and not let him have her for your big day. Limit what you let his daughter here about the wedding. Obviously if you get her a dress, she'll probably share it with her mom, but just don't let her here things like when it is or where it is. If ex is willing to do custody case because you're now engaged, I wouldn't put it past her to keep his daughter from him on your wedding day.