Family Matters
Meash2516
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BIL+wife cut ties after finding out about my pregnancy
Long story short, my BIL and his wife are idiots. They do not think about their futures and only care about themselves. My BIL recently left the marine corp and moved himself, his wife, and their son in to his parents house. Keep in mind, that he has no job lined up, gets almost everything handed to him, and wouldn't know how to think about anyone other than himself if his life depended on it...Despite mine and my husband's feelings, we have always tried to remain supportive and give advice/help when we can (ESP once they planned to have their child, after all it's not the kid's fault that they're stupid). We just want everyone to be happy in the family, so we avoid conflict and take pride in ourselves for being well rounded.
This passed Friday, my husband and I found out that we are having a son. This will be our first child, and we are overwhelmed with joy. Unfortunately, without notice, the BIL has blocked us both from Facebook, won't speak to my husband, and now his wife isn't speaking to me. They were talking to us like they normally do, up until they found out that we were having a boy. I don't understand this at all. Please, help me understand this.
This passed Friday, my husband and I found out that we are having a son. This will be our first child, and we are overwhelmed with joy. Unfortunately, without notice, the BIL has blocked us both from Facebook, won't speak to my husband, and now his wife isn't speaking to me. They were talking to us like they normally do, up until they found out that we were having a boy. I don't understand this at all. Please, help me understand this.
Re: BIL+wife cut ties after finding out about my pregnancy
It sounds like you think the stopping communication has something to do with your being pregnant with a son? Like they already knew you were pregnant, but the communication stopped when they found out you are pregnant with a son?
Maybe they are worried the parent gravy train will reduce down to a trickle with another grandchild/grandson in the mix.
It still seems like a weird reason to stop communication. I can't help but wonder if it is something else. Are the parents he is living with also your H's parents? If so, I'd talk to them about the situation.
If not, I'd send out a final e-mail/voice message saying you all are concerned they have not been in contact and is there something we did to offend you. That you miss them and would like to talk. Something like that.
And if they don't respond, they don't respond. For whatever reason, they have cut off the relationship. Other than trying to reach out again a couple times a year, I'd just let it go and wait for them to get over whatever it is they are upset about.
Long story short, my BIL and his wife are idiots. They do not think about their futures and only care about themselves. My BIL recently left the marine corp and moved himself, his wife, and their son in to his parents house. Keep in mind, that he has no job lined up, gets almost everything handed to him, and wouldn't know how to think about anyone other than himself if his life depended on it...
I am guessing he was coddled and enabled as he was growing up, so this is on his parents. Not a healthy relationship and not healthy for your BIL.
And knowing that he was like this, his wife is a bit too optimistic and a bit needy. That's on her.
Despite mine and my husband's feelings, we have always tried to remain supportive and give advice/help when we can (ESP once they planned to have their child, after all it's not the kid's fault that they're stupid). We just want everyone to be happy in the family, so we avoid conflict and take pride in ourselves for being well rounded.
This passed Friday, my husband and I found out that we are having a son. This will be our first child, and we are overwhelmed with joy. Unfortunately, without notice, the BIL has blocked us both from Facebook, won't speak to my husband, and now his wife isn't speaking to me. They were talking to us like they normally do, up until they found out that we were having a boy. I don't understand this at all. Please, help me understand this.
My guess is this is some sort of form of jealousy.
Jealous that the spotlight is on you and that you've got a kiddo on the way and this is also insecurity.
Nothing you can do about this...and this is why I hate Facebook. This defriend/block shit is almost like "the last word" and one would not do this in a face to face personal relationship. This is a coward's way of coping with something.
I don't know what you can do at all. They may come around, they may not. Sorry for your troubles.
Especially for the fact that you keep calling them idiots but yet you wrote "this passed Friday".
I think you are probably not quite as generous and helpful as you think you are. Your post grated on me. I can only imagine how your overall treatment of them comes off.
I wouldn't worry about it. Right now you need to focus on you and your baby and getting ready for his arrival. No need to add stress on why they aren't communicating with you. Big thing is, don't let this interfer with your relationship with your in laws, continue to visit them as you normally would.
Once your son is born, if BIL & his wife, give you advice about how to raise your son, which is possible since you've given them advise on things in their life, just politely go, thanks for the information, we'll take it into sonsideration. You'll be getting advise from not only them, but all your family and friends, so that answer may become a good standby answer for that. In the mean time, relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and time will work things out.
Or did a temporary turn off of their account. I have more and more friends doing the "break from social media" thing