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NMM: Does anyone get a hotel room when visiting inlaws/parents?
Not really money matters... but I thought I would get more responses here.
DH's mom & step dad live a few states away... so when we go visit we usually have stayed with them in the past (it's free right). But we don't really like staying at their house because we are not very comfortable. For example the best guest room has broken mini-blinds that are permanently stuck open so at 6am or whenever sunrise happens it is too bright in the room to sleep, the mattress is smaller than DH and I are used to sleeping on so we constantly keep bumping into each other in the middle of the night and waking each other up, the mattress & sheets are horrid (it is probably 20+ years old and moves all over the bed), their dog used to pee in all the rooms with carpet because he was male and unneutered for 16+years until he died a year ago... etc.
I love DH's mom, but don't won't to offend her.. which DH already did when he told her that I couldn't sleep with the smell of urine a couple of years ago... she since had the carpets cleaned. DH wanted to get a hotel room, but doesn't know how to tell his mom. I figured after we have children it will be easier to say "we are going to stay in a hotel room, since the baby may wake you up crying" but since we don't, we really don't have a good excuse.
Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?
Re: NMM: Does anyone get a hotel room when visiting inlaws/parents?
We don't, but we wish we did. ILs have three spare bedrooms, all of which contain one twin bed. Would it kill them to get even a full? Sigh. DH and I sleep in separate bedrooms when we visit, because neither of us like air mattresses.
Maybe you can come up with some "back problems" that require having a large mattress to spread out on.
We always stay in a hotel room. Whenever anyone asks us to stay with them we just say that since we have so many people to see while we're in town, it's easier to be able to come and go as we please and not worry about disturbing anyone.
Maybe you could drop a hint when your there about loving to sleep next to your husband because he makes you feel so safe. Just a thought.
We haven't in the past, but will be doing so for Thanksgiving this year. SIL and nephews have moved back home for a spell and it was already crowded, so it's just not going to work this year.
On top of that, I never felt comfortable for many reasons. I'm grateful that we're staying in the hotel this year, because I just don't think I am up to staying there this time.
We are getting one this thanksgiving. Don't really have an option of staying with my mom - it's like a zoo (5 big dogs and 3 cats). And there's no space for us at my dad's. My sister has an extra room, but just don't want to stay there, so we're getting a hotel inbetween all three of them.
Not sure what you could say except maybe you think a hotel would be a nice "getaway" for you and DH! Or, that you booked a while ago and can't cancel your reservation b/c you'll lose money...something like that? Or, maybe the hotel is close to something you plan to spend a lot of time at - a friend's, the mall, etc.?
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We do when we visit my parents. A few reasons:
1) my dad smokes (mom quit 2 years ago), and their house is gross. DH can't handle it, and I'm not used to it anymore either.
2) when all of us kids moved out, they took out every extra bed and turned one bedroom into a "dressing room" for mom and the other into a computer room. They "tricked" us last time we were up saying that they had an air mattress we could use for my sister's apartment (hardwood floors) that turned out to be a twin.
We stay w/ DH's parents, but we sleep together in his childhood twin bed. Gotta love it.
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
No... but we have, and "should" more often...
My parents also removed all of my bedroom furniture, and my sister's, and made both rooms into offices, etc. One room has an old fashioned bed with a custom mattress. It's in between a twin and a full. It's really not big enough for us, but we manage.
DH only goes up with me about 2, maybe 3 times a year. I go up probably an additional 2 or 3 times without him to do "girl stuff" with my sister. I can handle staying at my parent's house alone. However, I think that as years go on, we'll spend more visits in hotels when we're together - and definitely when we have kids. (Unless the kids want to stay with their grandparents.)
My sister leaves really close to my parents - and in college I used to stay with her, because she lived in the house next door to my parents then. However, she now has a huge family and no guest room.
I would give my right arm if DH would agree to get a room when we go to the ILs. First of all, MIL smokes, so when we leave everything we brought with us smells like smoke, and my respiratory system is screwed up for a fews days. ?Second of all, their spare bedroom only has a twin day bed, so one or both of us is stuck sleeping in the floor. Fortunately, my parents only live about 30 miles from my ILs, so we usually stay there.?
wow. sems like I'm one of the only ones with parents and inlaws that actually have nice guest rooms, don't smoke and keep a clean house (even with two dogs).
We don't stay over with my inaws too often since they are only about 30min from our house but in bad weather, or a late night get together and we have crashed on their very comfortable queen size bed in the guest room.
At my parents there are plenty of nice big beds (4 guest bedrooms and a loft with two twins). The room we stay in most often has a King size bed just like our own bedroom, and thick drapes so we can sleep as late as we want. Most of the time we sleep better at their house then if we were at home. If we are arriving late my dad will turn on the electric mattress pad warmer in the winter and always makes sure we both have a glass of water on our nightstands.
When visiting my family, generally no. However, staying at my parents still allows for a lot of privacy (5 bedroom house, just the two of them living there, and we usually take the bedroom in the basement, while their room is on the 2nd floor... and mom and dad know how to give space when needed...) I did get a hotel room for DH's first night in from Iraq during his R&R leave, after which we headed to their cabin for a week, before going back to the house.
When visiting DH's mom, we stay in a hotel, or with some of DH's college friends. His mom has a one bedroom place, and DH doesn't get along with her all that well. It's not like they butt heads or anything, he just can't get comfortable around her, and so we visit for supper, or take her out, but don't spend the night. Frequently our trips there involve visiting with DH's college friends, and one of them has a four bedroom place and she has frequently offered one of her spare rooms to us.
We don't, but in your situation I would. It all depends on how you handle it.
IMO, DH telling her you couldn't stand the urine smell was a BAD way to handle it. Simply saying, "We are more comfortable in a hotel and don't want to put you out" and just booking it would be a better move.
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Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
We only live 30 min from my parents, so we always go home. It would have to be a pretty severe weather condition for us to stay the night.
With his parents, we have always stayed at their house. However, it's getting more difficult as we will have a kid this Christmas and his Sister and BIL have 2 small children and there's only one real guest room. Otherwise, we are stuck on air mattresses (I cannot sleep on it, I wake up hurting real bad). His grandma lives only .5 miles away, but I can't stay there because of the cats. (very allergic). So we might have to start getting a hotel room for family events or fighting with his sister for who gets the guest room (we have always previously been kicked out because we didn't have kids).
We would like to, but MIL and FIL both live in small towns without any hotel options that aren't at least 30 min away.
Could you say you have hotel points that you have to use before the end of the year? Then you can comment on how nice it is that everyone has their space and just keep doing it.
I want to stay at your parents house. LOL
We stay in a hotel. My parents don't take it personally and even encourage us to stay in a hotel when we visit (to have some couple time away from the family). We've never stayed with DH's parents because they had a small apartment before and three other sons to house.
But they just bought a house, and I know MIL will want us to stay with them during the holidays, but that's definitely not going to happen! For one, I can't stand the way their place smells (and the way our clothes smell after spending time there), and MIL has boundary issues (among other things) and I can't stand to be in the same room with her for more than a few hours, let alone a couple of days.
And staying in a hotel just makes it easier for us to come and go and make the rounds with family and friends.
DH and I made the mistake one night two years ago of staying with his dad and stepmom after visiting them. Their house smelled so bad that neither of us could sleep! It was a combination of mothballs, dog, and something else that I can't put my finger on... Gross.
We don't stay in a hotel, but that's because it's never been uncomfortable for us. There is NO way we would stay w/ family if anybody was a smoker. H and I are both allergic and it would make us absolutely miserable.
We did stay in a hotel room when we used to visit H's grandparents before we were married. Because they felt we should sleep in separate rooms, LOL. They were upset that we went to a hotel but wouldn't budge and let us sleep in the same bed in their house.