Feeling betrayed

Maybe I'm being over sensitive, I'm not sure (likely am). But I need to get some things off my chest. One, my FIL ticked me off last time we visited because he started a conversation with my husband about seeing an attractive lady at some family gathering and started to go into detail about what she looked like. Also, he encouraged my husband to look at "hot" girls on television. The thing is he did that in front of me and our son. My husband gestured for his dad to stop because I was there and his dad stopped but looked a little ticked. It was upsetting but I've been told not to pay attention to anything my FIL says because he's a little out there and just randomly says stupid things. I should let it go but deep down it hurts. And the gesture my husband made for his dad to stop is as far as he's willing to go. He doesn't want to get visibly angry with his dad. We have been married for 10 years and I don't look the way I did before. I've gained a lot of weight and I know I'm less attractive now. I can't help feeling that what my FIL said to my husband in front of me is a clue that he thinks my husband could do much better than me. He never said those things in front of me when my husband and I first got married. Why now? Second, his step mom really upset me too. I confided in her about some family issues I have had and instead of being sympathetic she told me she didn't blame my sister for not telling me my other sister was pregnant. That she would have done the same and went on about how I'm driving my husband and everyone around me crazy by continuously talking about it. She knew the backstory because she saw some stuff on Facebook between me and my sister. Its a little weird she friended my sister since she only met her once (and I'm not even on Facebook anymore). I was having a lot of personal issues at the time and estranged from my dysfunctional family. Obviously, I confided to the wrong person. I understand she doesn't have to agree with me on anything I say and she's entitled to her own opinion but how she said it and what she said made me feel like shit. She and I had spoken about the same exact issue before on Facebook and she was very sympathetic but when we were sitting in her living room (with my husband there) she snapped That's what really upsets me the most. Why was she afraid to tell me her opinion on Facebook but not face to face? And I saw her glance at my husband before she proceeded to give me her opinion. Also, it seemed like I couldn't find any common ground with her. None. She had made up her mind that I was the problem in any scenario I brought up and it was always my fault no matter what. Yet, when she griped about my other MIL living with them (yes, she let her husbands ex wife live in their house for 3 months) I tried to be sympathetic. If I wanted to I could have given her my honest opinion and said something along the lines " it's your fault you let her move in the first place." I don't think she would have liked that response too much. So, I know my fault in all of this. I refuse to confide my feelings to anyone anymore. If you are wondering, no I don't feel my husband supports me. Not only in the scenarios I described above but also in our daily lives. For example, I had some issues with our previous neighbor and I felt betrayed by him. She was very disrespectful to me when I asked her to take her party inside at 1 a.m. She told me to go inside and close my f..... Windows and banned her son from playing with my son. So what does my husband do? He continues being friendly with her and the husband while they ignore me and my son. He would go out of his way to say hello and help the guy out whenever he asked for help. Do you think the neighbors husband would have helped me if I needed it? No. His wife would have killed him. They ignored me. My husband was the likable one, I wasn't. I felt the least my husband could have done without being confrontational is let the neighbors know it wasn't ok for them to treat me that way. I know when my husband doesn't like someone I usually stick by his side and though I wouldn't go as far as being disrespectful to them, I probably wouldn't be over friendly. Things have gotten to the point where I don't feel like my husband and I function like a married couple. He got drunk a year ago and told me what he really thinks of me, that I'm fat and that he wanted to punch my teeth out. For a minute, I actually thought he was going to hit me. I had never seen that side of him the entire 10 years we were married. He said everything in front of our 9 year old son. So while he may seem like the good guy in the above scenarios he isn't always is to me. Which is why we stayed in a hotel last time we visited his family. I didn't want to confide my feelings to the wrong people or accidentally bring up any negative which I'm sorry is what a huge part of my life was. I wanted to keep my distance. His family was of course upset and offended. My husband wasn't too happy either but there's no way I was going to spend 7 days at his house without having any personal time away from his family. And it's not like I was taking any time away from their son....we were there by 10 a.m until 11 p.m. ( we might as well have saved our money and slept there). I know I have to let go of all of this but it just seems like my frustration keeps on building, mostly because I feel betrayed by my own family as well as my husband. Most of all I am angry at myself for being so weak and allowing petty stuff get to me. Honestly, I'd rather stay at a hotel from now on when visiting or let my husband and son visit without me. So yes I'm venting but I would also like to get your opinion. Am I being too sensitive and irrational about everything or do I have a right to be mad about some of these things?