Not MM-related: the best thing so far about "sparking joy"

hoffse · October 2015

I'm only a couple of weeks into my efforts to KonMari my entire house so that my possessions "spark joy" and my life isn't burdened by clutter. H joined me this past weekend, and he is getting into it also.

One of the craziest things is that after my first (massive) purge of clothes, I randomly sat down and practiced the piano for a couple of hours. I've practiced at least an hour a day, each day since. This is the first time I've played anything on a piano for at least 3 years. It is definitely not an instrument I can play proficiently, but it's something I've always wanted to learn how to do. I already read music, so I'm really just focused on developing the hand skill.

Anyway, after that first purge I was thinking about all of the other things that would spark joy for me, and I decided that playing piano would qualify. So I pulled out some adult beginner books and just got started.

It's gone very quickly, and I'm now about 2/3 of the way through the level one book. If I can keep it up, I think I'll be proficient by the end of 2016. I may not ever be playing huge pieces, but I ought to be able to entertain myself.

I have also decided that on the "sparks joy" scale, learning a new instrument > spending all evening on facebook. I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something instead of just killing time before bed.

Caveat: we have a little clavinova that we received for free from a friend that I have been using. It's a pretty nice instrument, but the middle E key sticks. NBD right now because I can play everything in a different octave and work around it. It will become problematic if I keep this up, though, because I will need to use that middle octave at some point. I'm trying to decide how far I need to get before it makes sense to have somebody come fix it for us.

vlagrl29 · October 2015

the things that spark the most joy in myself are teaching music lessons, playing with my trio, yoga, and my family in no particular order. While I wish we had more disposable income I'm grateful that we are all healthy and doing what we love instead of doing what we have to do.

csuave · October 2015

That is great hoffse!

I kind of have been trying to do the same with my New Year's resolutions. A couple years ago it was "be more generous." Then it was "write snail mail letters to people."

This year is "read more books." Now that I am focused on it I have read so much more than average and am really enjoying this old activity that I kind of quit in recent years. H has gotten into it too and we try to read some of the same books so we can have discussions when we are both done.

brij2006 · October 2015

It's so funny you posted about this. After going through all of my stuff this weekend, I cooked a new recipe for dinner last night. First time in months that I have taken the time to make something healthy and well rounded.

smetter04 · October 2015

Thank you for this! Lately I've been struggling with the daily grind and questioning 'who I am.' In the sense that I used to do things that brought me joy and made me, "me," but now life seems like a never-ending cycle of work-grocery shopping-cooking-cleaning-sleeping.

I've been thinking about picking up my viola again, but haven't. I've also thought about getting into yoga again, but haven't. Maybe your post will motivate me enough to start one, or both.

I also think this brings up a good point that even though this board is focused on financial goals, working toward personal goals is important, too.

cbee817 · October 2015

Now that our girls are more set on a schedule and the chaos of baby-ness with working full time is over, I have more time to sew once they are sleeping at night. That brings me a lot of joy- it may just be 30 minutes and not every night (some nights, I'm just too tired!), but I love it. DH actually likes to help me too (he lays out blocks, picks fabrics, and cuts for me)- we're working on 2 quilts now for the girls' beds... hoping to have them complete for Christmas. I've also been cooking a lot more- prepping things ahead of time so we have well balanced meals throughout the week. Last night I made thai peanut ginger sauce with veggies, tofu, and rice. DH loved it- the girls had the same dinner but wouldn't try the sauce.. we'll win them over eventually! The 3rd thing I've been doing is working out every morning- I usually get in 2.5 miles on the elliptical, stretch, and center myself for the day before the girls wake up. It's helped me feel a lot better and I'm down 3 lbs so far (long term goal is to lose 15 more lbs - get back to what I weighed in college).

Small things like that have helped a lot for me and have given us more time together as a family when we are home.

I think I will definitely be getting this book though- seems like a great read!

julieanne912 · October 2015

I love to cook. But often, it starts to become a burden. I had gotten lazy when H would go out of town, and just not cook at all. But now, I try to cook at least 3 times a week, even if he's not home, and it really relaxes me. I find I like it even more when he's not home.... because I don't feel rushed because there's another hungry person to feed, so I can take my time, and I can also cook things I really enjoy to eat that he can't eat.

brij2006 · October 2015

@cbee817 You're giving me hope that this baby and working full time craziness will end.

hoffse · October 2015

I've found it so hard to get motivated in the last year, but I think a lot of that had to do with the mental space I was in with respect to the state of the house. We stretched ourselves financially for it. I don't regret it, but it caused a lot of stress. The house was in a constant state of remodeling for months. As soon as we would clean it up, it would get torn apart again.

Getting everything finished with the kitchen, getting ourselves back in a good place financially, and then cleaning out unnecessary items really felt freeing. Suddenly I had the energy for my music again.

I do love my job. It fulfills me and challenges me. But it is high pressure and sometimes high stakes, and when other things in my life feel unsettled I have a hard time getting motivation to do anything else other than work.

I really hope that I become proficient with the piano before having children. I'm not setting that as a goal for myself because I don't want to manufacture any pressure. However, I know that I will probably not make as much time for it once kids are in the picture, and if I can get to a certain level with it I'm far more likely to keep playing (albeit less frequently) post-kids.

hoffse · October 2015

Side-note: I have set a small goal for myself to be able to play at least one Christmas song by the end of the year. My mom is a piano player and has been encouraging me to learn for years, but I just never got motivated to really do it. I haven't told her I've been practicing, and I hope to surprise her and my dad at Christmas

AprilZ81 · October 2015

hoffse said:

I'm only a couple of weeks into my efforts to KonMari my entire house so that my possessions "spark joy" and my life isn't burdened by clutter. H joined me this past weekend, and he is getting into it also.

One of the craziest things is that after my first (massive) purge of clothes, I randomly sat down and practiced the piano for a couple of hours. I've practiced at least an hour a day, each day since. This is the first time I've played anything on a piano for at least 3 years. It is definitely not an instrument I can play proficiently, but it's something I've always wanted to learn how to do. I already read music, so I'm really just focused on developing the hand skill.

Anyway, after that first purge I was thinking about all of the other things that would spark joy for me, and I decided that playing piano would qualify. So I pulled out some adult beginner books and just got started.

It's gone very quickly, and I'm now about 2/3 of the way through the level one book. If I can keep it up, I think I'll be proficient by the end of 2016. I may not ever be playing huge pieces, but I ought to be able to entertain myself.

I have also decided that on the "sparks joy" scale, learning a new instrument > spending all evening on facebook. I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something instead of just killing time before bed.

Caveat: we have a little clavinova that we received for free from a friend that I have been using. It's a pretty nice instrument, but the middle E key sticks. NBD right now because I can play everything in a different octave and work around it. It will become problematic if I keep this up, though, because I will need to use that middle octave at some point. I'm trying to decide how far I need to get before it makes sense to have somebody come fix it for us.

@hofsse Can you recommend some adult beginner books? We inherited a piano (slightly out of tune and at least one key sticks) with the house. I took piano lessons on and off as a child, I'm pretty fluent with reading treble clef (10 years of playing flute/oboe) but my bass cleff is rusty and I've forgotten most of the fingering techniques. I would love to be able to play better but sitting down with sheet music is a bit intimidating since it has been so long since I've played.

blondie42107 · October 2015

I need to focus on this. With two kids, a job that can be frequently stressful, and a daily routine that rarely involves H and I doing things for ourselves, we're tired at the end of the day. We wouldn't trade our kids for anything but now that they are getting older, we need to set more time aside for "sparking joy." I guess it's time to declutter! Maybe I'll get my flute out!

vlagrl29 · October 2015

smetter04 said:

Thank you for this! Lately I've been struggling with the daily grind and questioning 'who I am.' In the sense that I used to do things that brought me joy and made me, "me," but now life seems like a never-ending cycle of work-grocery shopping-cooking-cleaning-sleeping.

I've been thinking about picking up my viola again, but haven't. I've also thought about getting into yoga again, but haven't. Maybe your post will motivate me enough to start one, or both.

I also think this brings up a good point that even though this board is focused on financial goals, working toward personal goals is important, too.

you play viola?! I've played it for 25 years. You rarely meet a fellow violist that isn't in your circle of music friends. You should pick it up and do yoga - I do both and highly recommend it

vlagrl29 · October 2015

hoffse said:

Side-note: I have set a small goal for myself to be able to play at least one Christmas song by the end of the year. My mom is a piano player and has been encouraging me to learn for years, but I just never got motivated to really do it. I haven't told her I've been practicing, and I hope to surprise her and my dad at Christmas

xmas songs are totally doable! start now so you have plenty of time. I do xmas songs with my kid students but I wait until after halloween - personal choice of course. I don't know if they have the "essential elements" books for piano but they do for strings and band. They have their own xmas book that has really good arrangements.

BlueBirdMB · October 2015

vlagrl29 said:

hoffse said:

Side-note: I have set a small goal for myself to be able to play at least one Christmas song by the end of the year. My mom is a piano player and has been encouraging me to learn for years, but I just never got motivated to really do it. I haven't told her I've been practicing, and I hope to surprise her and my dad at Christmas

xmas songs are totally doable! start now so you have plenty of time. I do xmas songs with my kid students but I wait until after halloween - personal choice of course. I don't know if they have the "essential elements" books for piano but they do for strings and band. They have their own xmas book that has really good arrangements.

Ugh I try to wait until as close to Thanksgiving as possible. Beginner-Intermidiate arrangements of Christmas music haunt my dreams. I try to come up with new stuff each year so I don't go insane.

hoffseCertain Christmas songs are really easy! Go to a nice music store and look around at arrangements now, or look on musicnotes.com and search "easy piano christmas".

AprilZ81 I've used many adult beginner books over the years and have decided that the children's books are better organized. Ignore the cartoons and try your hand at Alfred's basic piano library level 1B to start.

Xstatic3333 · October 2015

@hoffse,

hoffse said:
I've found it so hard to get motivated in the last year, but I think a lot of that had to do with the mental space I was in with respect to the state of the house. We stretched ourselves financially for it. I don't regret it, but it caused a lot of stress. The house was in a constant state of remodeling for months. As soon as we would clean it up, it would get torn apart again.

Getting everything finished with the kitchen, getting ourselves back in a good place financially, and then cleaning out unnecessary items really felt freeing. Suddenly I had the energy for my music again.

I do love my job. It fulfills me and challenges me. But it is high pressure and sometimes high stakes, and when other things in my life feel unsettled I have a hard time getting motivation to do anything else other than work.

I really hope that I become proficient with the piano before having children. I'm not setting that as a goal for myself because I don't want to manufacture any pressure. However, I know that I will probably not make as much time for it once kids are in the picture, and if I can get to a certain level with it I'm far more likely to keep playing (albeit less frequently) post-kids.

This reminded me of my good friend and her almost-year old son. She played piano a ton when she was pregnant, and they figured out very quickly once he was home that he loves to listen to it. Piano will soothe him when nothing else does, and when he's happy and awake he'll sit on mom's lap while she plays. It's super adorable.

The "sparks joy" thing is great. Diving definitely sparks a ton of joy, which is why I do it, but it can also spark stress due to the time commitment involved. I need to buy the book to see how she handles those situations! The thing I'm trying to carve out time for in my everyday life is learning Dutch. H and I started this a while back because between the Netherlands and Bonaire, Dutch speaking countries are heavy on our interest list. You don't need to speak Dutch to get by in these places, but I really love learning it and all the new apps make it easy to do.

ETA Gardening also sparks a lot of joy for me. I love eating food that I "made." I've told H that if I'm pregnant and can't dive next summer, we will have the world's best garden :-)

hoffse · October 2015

@April, I've been using the Alfred's books. They move right along. I'm on page 68 or so and did a little blues last night

http://www.amazon.com/Alfreds-Basic-Adult-Piano-Course/dp/0882846167/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1445342237&sr=8-2&keywords=alfreds+adult+all+in+one+piano+course+level+1

I'm the same way - I read treble clef fluently, not as strong on bass clef, but it's coming right along with that book. There are 3 books in that series and then you jump to level 5 & 6 of the kids books I think for more advanced stuff.

hoffse · October 2015

There is also this one that I thought about getting, but I picked up a separate scales/theory book instead.

http://www.amazon.com/Adult-All-In-One-Course-Lesson-Theory-Technic-Level/dp/0882848186/ref=pd_sim_14_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1NV7VASXCDT261F4HGBS&dpID=51kddb8LvYL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR120,160_

hoffse · October 2015

Xstatic3333 said:

@hoffse,
I've found it so hard to get motivated in the last year, but I think a lot of that had to do with the mental space I was in with respect to the state of the house. We stretched ourselves financially for it. I don't regret it, but it caused a lot of stress. The house was in a constant state of remodeling for months. As soon as we would clean it up, it would get torn apart again.

Getting everything finished with the kitchen, getting ourselves back in a good place financially, and then cleaning out unnecessary items really felt freeing. Suddenly I had the energy for my music again.

I do love my job. It fulfills me and challenges me. But it is high pressure and sometimes high stakes, and when other things in my life feel unsettled I have a hard time getting motivation to do anything else other than work.

I really hope that I become proficient with the piano before having children. I'm not setting that as a goal for myself because I don't want to manufacture any pressure. However, I know that I will probably not make as much time for it once kids are in the picture, and if I can get to a certain level with it I'm far more likely to keep playing (albeit less frequently) post-kids.
This reminded me of my good friend and her almost-year old son. She played piano a ton when she was pregnant, and they figured out very quickly once he was home that he loves to listen to it. Piano will soothe him when nothing else does, and when he's happy and awake he'll sit on mom's lap while she plays. It's super adorable. The "sparks joy" thing is great. Diving definitely sparks a ton of joy, which is why I do it, but it can also spark stress due to the time commitment involved. I need to buy the book to see how she handles those situations! The thing I'm trying to carve out time for in my everyday life is learning Dutch. H and I started this a while back because between the Netherlands and Bonaire, Dutch speaking countries are heavy on our interest list. You don't need to speak Dutch to get by in these places, but I really love learning it and all the new apps make it easy to do. ETA Gardening also sparks a lot of joy for me. I love eating food that I "made." I've told H that if I'm pregnant and can't dive next summer, we will have the world's best garden :-)

The book really just focuses on cleaning/organizing your house. It's just that I have found (and have read from bloggers) that you seem to have more energy for the things you love to do when your house is in order. I started mentally using the sparks joy criteria for things unrelated to housekeeping, and it translates pretty well

For Dutch, look into Pimsleur. It's a bit expensive, but they are some of the best. They focus on speaking, accents, and even some slang/idioms that you wouldn't necessarily learn in a formal class but that you hear all the time from native speakers. H has been using it for French for the last year, and he now speaks extremely well. He just listens to the tapes on the way to and from work.

cbee817 · October 2015

brij2006 said:

@cbee817 You're giving me hope that this baby and working full time craziness will end.

I promise it really does get easier- of course if you have a 2nd, it will be crazy again. But at 3 and 5, the girls are really starting to do things for themselves. They get their placements, silverware, and napkins every night for dinner. They help us sort socks and match them, they love to fold wash cloths for some reason! They also keep their room clean, clean up their toys every night. DD#1 is also into helping out in the kitchen- I measure stuff, she dumps it into the bowl, helps us empty the dishwasher.... small things like that really help a lot!

Also I found that I had tons of extra time once I was done BF and pumping.. no cleaning out everything, getting bags and bottles ready. I did it for a year with each of them and I am so glad I did, but it's great to have all of that stuff done with.

blondie42107 · October 2015

cbee817 said:

brij2006 said:

@cbee817 You're giving me hope that this baby and working full time craziness will end.

I promise it really does get easier- of course if you have a 2nd, it will be crazy again. But at 3 and 5, the girls are really starting to do things for themselves. They get their placements, silverware, and napkins every night for dinner. They help us sort socks and match them, they love to fold wash cloths for some reason! They also keep their room clean, clean up their toys every night. DD#1 is also into helping out in the kitchen- I measure stuff, she dumps it into the bowl, helps us empty the dishwasher.... small things like that really help a lot!

Also I found that I had tons of extra time once I was done BF and pumping.. no cleaning out everything, getting bags and bottles ready. I did it for a year with each of them and I am so glad I did, but it's great to have all of that stuff done with.

@cbee817
My kids are the same age! And oh my goodness the time spent pumping, cleaning parts, etc! It was a small epiphany when I realized we didn't need the bottle drying rack on the counter anymore! And some jumping for joy when we were done with diapers. Not because of the cost but trying to find a place to change a diaper while out and the occasional forgetting to take the diaper.

vlagrl29 · October 2015

cbee817 said:

brij2006 said:

@cbee817 You're giving me hope that this baby and working full time craziness will end.

I promise it really does get easier- of course if you have a 2nd, it will be crazy again. But at 3 and 5, the girls are really starting to do things for themselves. They get their placements, silverware, and napkins every night for dinner. They help us sort socks and match them, they love to fold wash cloths for some reason! They also keep their room clean, clean up their toys every night. DD#1 is also into helping out in the kitchen- I measure stuff, she dumps it into the bowl, helps us empty the dishwasher.... small things like that really help a lot!

Also I found that I had tons of extra time once I was done BF and pumping.. no cleaning out everything, getting bags and bottles ready. I did it for a year with each of them and I am so glad I did, but it's great to have all of that stuff done with.

I had found that the more mobile she got the more tired I got because I'm with her all the time. Now she is in pre k and dance and I'm trying to keep up with all the calendars for school and dance. Personally for me it seems much more busy now and the baby stage was when I got the most rest.

cbee817 · October 2015

@vlagrl29 - I think it's just a different viewpoint between working moms and stay at home moms. I'm not with the girls during the day so everything that needs to get done is squeezed into a few hours each night. It's non-stop until they're sleeping and then DH and I need to get lunches ready, do dishes, prep stuff for tomorrow's dinner, DH has to grade papers, etc. It took us a while to get into a groove, but I feel like we've got a good system working. It requires all of us to help out and work together and now that the girls are older, they understand that we need to work as a team in order to have time for games, coloring, playing, puzzles, etc each night. The nice thing about DD#2's day care is that dance class is built into the day (she goes once a week on Tuesday) and DD#1 wants to do ice skating this winter with DH instead of dance. DH's dad goes with them too and helps DD#2 when she feels like going, but it's a nice weekly tradition for DD#1 and DH to spend some time together (I can't even stand up on ice skates so I usually watch them if DD#2 goes, otherwise I stay home with her).

brij2006 · October 2015

cbee817 said:

brij2006 said:

@cbee817 You're giving me hope that this baby and working full time craziness will end.

I promise it really does get easier- of course if you have a 2nd, it will be crazy again. But at 3 and 5, the girls are really starting to do things for themselves. They get their placements, silverware, and napkins every night for dinner. They help us sort socks and match them, they love to fold wash cloths for some reason! They also keep their room clean, clean up their toys every night. DD#1 is also into helping out in the kitchen- I measure stuff, she dumps it into the bowl, helps us empty the dishwasher.... small things like that really help a lot!

Also I found that I had tons of extra time once I was done BF and pumping.. no cleaning out everything, getting bags and bottles ready. I did it for a year with each of them and I am so glad I did, but it's great to have all of that stuff done with.

This part seriously takes a lot more time than I thought it would. Only 4 months left till BFing freedom! Not going to lie, I'm going to miss that bond and connection. But I'm ready to have my life back and not have to worry about that aspect of things every night.

cbee817 · October 2015

brij2006 said:

cbee817 said:

brij2006 said:

@cbee817 You're giving me hope that this baby and working full time craziness will end.

I promise it really does get easier- of course if you have a 2nd, it will be crazy again. But at 3 and 5, the girls are really starting to do things for themselves. They get their placements, silverware, and napkins every night for dinner. They help us sort socks and match them, they love to fold wash cloths for some reason! They also keep their room clean, clean up their toys every night. DD#1 is also into helping out in the kitchen- I measure stuff, she dumps it into the bowl, helps us empty the dishwasher.... small things like that really help a lot!

Also I found that I had tons of extra time once I was done BF and pumping.. no cleaning out everything, getting bags and bottles ready. I did it for a year with each of them and I am so glad I did, but it's great to have all of that stuff done with.

This part seriously takes a lot more time than I thought it would. Only 4 months left till BFing freedom! Not going to lie, I'm going to miss that bond and connection. But I'm ready to have my life back and not have to worry about that aspect of things every night.

It's a huge commitment- I constantly reminded myself that it was temporary and one day I would miss it. It helped a lot to appreciate the moment- by 10 month or so, they were both so distracted when BFing, the only time they really focused was right before bed. I was pumping way more than actually BFing them. By 12 months, they wanted nothing to do with it so it was pretty easy for all of us to move on. You're doing a great job!

vlagrl29 · October 2015

cbee817 said:

@vlagrl29 - I think it's just a different viewpoint between working moms and stay at home moms. I'm not with the girls during the day so everything that needs to get done is squeezed into a few hours each night. It's non-stop until they're sleeping and then DH and I need to get lunches ready, do dishes, prep stuff for tomorrow's dinner, DH has to grade papers, etc. It took us a while to get into a groove, but I feel like we've got a good system working. It requires all of us to help out and work together and now that the girls are older, they understand that we need to work as a team in order to have time for games, coloring, playing, puzzles, etc each night. The nice thing about DD#2's day care is that dance class is built into the day (she goes once a week on Tuesday) and DD#1 wants to do ice skating this winter with DH instead of dance. DH's dad goes with them too and helps DD#2 when she feels like going, but it's a nice weekly tradition for DD#1 and DH to spend some time together (I can't even stand up on ice skates so I usually watch them if DD#2 goes, otherwise I stay home with her).

I think you are right. I think about next year when she is in K, I will be pregnant, she will still be doing dance and possibly violin lessons. Not going to lie - I'm nervous about adding another baby to the mix.

smetter04 · October 2015

vlagrl29 said:

smetter04 said:

Thank you for this! Lately I've been struggling with the daily grind and questioning 'who I am.' In the sense that I used to do things that brought me joy and made me, "me," but now life seems like a never-ending cycle of work-grocery shopping-cooking-cleaning-sleeping.

I've been thinking about picking up my viola again, but haven't. I've also thought about getting into yoga again, but haven't. Maybe your post will motivate me enough to start one, or both.

I also think this brings up a good point that even though this board is focused on financial goals, working toward personal goals is important, too.

you play viola?! I've played it for 25 years. You rarely meet a fellow violist that isn't in your circle of music friends. You should pick it up and do yoga - I do both and highly recommend it

@vlagrl29, I'm picturing trying to do yoga poses while holding a viola and the images in my head are a bit comical

vlagrl29 · October 2015

smetter04 said:

vlagrl29 said:

smetter04 said:

Thank you for this! Lately I've been struggling with the daily grind and questioning 'who I am.' In the sense that I used to do things that brought me joy and made me, "me," but now life seems like a never-ending cycle of work-grocery shopping-cooking-cleaning-sleeping.

I've been thinking about picking up my viola again, but haven't. I've also thought about getting into yoga again, but haven't. Maybe your post will motivate me enough to start one, or both.

I also think this brings up a good point that even though this board is focused on financial goals, working toward personal goals is important, too.

you play viola?! I've played it for 25 years. You rarely meet a fellow violist that isn't in your circle of music friends. You should pick it up and do yoga - I do both and highly recommend it

@vlagrl29, I'm picturing trying to do yoga poses while holding a viola and the images in my head are a bit comical

I know! I've thought the only pose doable with the viola is standing tree pose.

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