Would you do it (egg donor)?

csuave · December 2015

I'm looking at CL ETC jobs postings and I am seeing a lot for "become and egg donor and earn $8,000-$10,000" or "surrogates needed earn $30,000."

Makes me curious if anyone would consider egg donation or being a surrogate as a way to earn extra cash?

Personally, I'm probably too old for that stuff and it is outside of my comfort zone so I wouldn't do it for the cash. And my financial need isn't great enough to consider going to those lengths.

jessica490 · December 2015

I've seen those before and it sounds really tempting, but I'm sure there's a lot that goes into it...time off of work, lots of tests and blood work...just wouldn't be worth it to me.

short+sassy · December 2015

I've never been eligible due to my medical condition...and now I'm too old on top of that. It depends on the place, but I think egg donors usually need to be under 30.

But if I were eligible, I'd have to be pretty desperate for money to be an egg donor. From what I understand, it is a painful and awful process. Donors need to take pills for many months that boost up their egg production (something like that), but the pills cause extreme nausea. Even $10K isn't enough for me to sign on to feel really sick all the time for months.

For me, being a surrogate is an even bigger no. I don't want children and have never had a child. Being pregnant sounds like utter hell to me. No offense to the moms out there and the other members TTCing! I totally admire y'all because I would be miserable being pregnant and then giving birth. I wouldn't even be a surrogate for someone really close to me, like a sibling or BFF.

littlemushroom · December 2015

short+sassy said:
I've never been eligible due to my medical condition...and now I'm too old on top of that. It depends on the place, but I think egg donors usually need to be under 30.
But if I were eligible, I'd have to be pretty desperate for money to be an egg donor. From what I understand, it is a painful and awful process. Donors need to take pills for many months that boost up their egg production (something like that), but the pills cause extreme nausea. Even $10K isn't enough for me to sign on to feel really sick all the time for months.
For me, being a surrogate is an even bigger no. I don't want children and have never had a child. Being pregnant sounds like utter hell to me. No offense to the moms out there and the other members TTCing! I totally admire y'all because I would be miserable being pregnant and then giving birth. I wouldn't even be a surrogate for someone really close to me, like a sibling or BFF.

All of this.

Xstatic3333 · December 2015

They were always advertising for egg donors pretty heavily at the college I went to, so I looked into it a little bit and it sounds horrible. You have to take mood-altering hormones for six weeks, during which time you cannot have sex, and the procedures involved can apparently be quite painful. If I ever did it wouldn't be for the money, but for the desire to help a couple have children. Honestly, though, H and I are undecided about whether we'd even go to those lengths to help ourselves have children.

abrewer5 · December 2015

I would donate eggs if I was eligible, but I wouldn't do it for the money. I know quite a few people in my circle of friends who have had trouble conceiving but would make absolutely amazing parents so if I could afford that opportunity to someone then I'm all for it. Obviously, I wouldn't turn the money down, but to me it would mean a lot more than extra money in my pocket.

As far as being a surrogate goes, I would only do that for very close family or friends (there are like maybe 4 or 5 people I would do it for). And I definitely would not accept money from them above any medical expenses. Again, I would love to afford that opportunity to someone who needed it and who I loved.

vlagrl29 · December 2015

Nope I want my eggs

I would never be that desperate for money.

KatieCutie05 · December 2015

I would never. I don't think theres any way i could be that desperate for cash, id really have to be in dire straights.

Egg extraction is extremely painful. plus I just really don't like the idea of being someones mom out there and not knowing it - even for a family member it would be too wierd for me.

And being a surrogate is even lower on that list. I've done pregnancy and childbirth and its not exactly something you'd do for fun. And to not get to keep the baby after all that would just be heartbreaking.

I'd like to think i'd be nice enough to help out a family member or good friend in need but I would much rather just give them the money to hire a surrogate.

dragonstarjk · December 2015

I wouldn't do it. I'm too much of a wimp. I've never even looked into it, but from what y'all are saying, it would be painful and an awful experience. If you removed all of that and it was easy breezy to do, I probably would do it if it could help somebody that wanted to have a child and couldn't otherwise.

Surrogate, no way. I don't plan to have children, so being pregnant and having somebody else's baby is out of the question.

hoffse · December 2015

I actually thought about it seriously in college but wimped out. I looked into it pretty seriously and even got an application to see what they were looking for. Turns out I was basically an ideal candidate (as were many other women on my college campus), and I probably would have been selected if I had turned in the application. They were looking for things like specific hair and eye color, SAT scores, GPA, known medical history, weight/height, etc. IIRC there were even questions about life accomplishments like publishing papers, having semi-professional skills in music or sports, etc. They even wanted to know what your parents did for a living and what their highest level of education was.

The no-sex thing wouldn't have bothered me because I was dating my H long-distance at the time, and we would go much longer than that between visits sometimes. I was more concerned about feeling too crappy to study, and that's why I didn't do it.

I might be misremembering, but I think the place I looked into was offering significantly more than $8,000-$10,000 as compensation.

AprilZ81 · December 2015

I wouldn't do it for the money, but I would (in theory) do it for family or a close friend.

I don't ovulate on my own so I wouldn't be a good candidate anyway.

short+sassy · December 2015

hoffse said:

I actually thought about it seriously in college but wimped out. I looked into it pretty seriously and even got an application to see what they were looking for. Turns out I was basically an ideal candidate (as were many other women on my college campus), and I probably would have been selected if I had turned in the application. They were looking for things like specific hair and eye color, SAT scores, GPA, known medical history, weight/height, etc. IIRC there were even questions about life accomplishments like publishing papers, having semi-professional skills in music or sports, etc. They even wanted to know what your parents did for a living and what their highest level of education was.

The no-sex thing wouldn't have bothered me because I was dating my H long-distance at the time, and we would go much longer than that between visits sometimes. I was more concerned about feeling too crappy to study, and that's why I didn't do it.

I might be misremembering, but I think the place I looked into was offering significantly more than $8,000-$10,000 as compensation.

I know for men to be a sperm donor, the majority of the time they are required to be at least 6'0" and have a college degree.

There's an ad on NOLA's CL that has been continually put up for years. They are paying $30K-$40K to egg donors, but the women have to specifically be Jewish. Now for that kind of money, egg donation would be something I would look into. Of course, not being Jewish, is just one more thing to add to my list of non-qualifiers, lol.

PurpleBookmark · December 2015

I would not be a good candidate for either due to medical issues, BUT if that were not the case I would not consider egg donation but I would do surrogacy. I have high risk pregnancies but the result is so amazingly worth it I would happily carry a child for a loved one and could even see doing it through some type of agency for someone I didn't know.

dragonstarjk · December 2015

Not gonna lie, if being an egg donor was $30-40K, I would consider doing it for the money, even despite it sounding like a bit of an ordeal. I wouldn't do it if it was going to risk my health, but otherwise, yeah, I probably would. That's how much I earn in a year.

lbonga1 · December 2015

FI and I are planning to have one more child, and if all goes well then I'm thinking of becoming a surrogate. Both of my pregnancies so far have been relatively easy, and the births were a breeze. I would personally be devastated if I could not carry any children, so I want to be able to help another woman that can't. The money is definitely a great bonus, and if I do go through with it, I think I will use the money toward college expenses for my own children.

JoanE2012 · December 2015

short+sassy said:

I've never been eligible due to my medical condition...and now I'm too old on top of that. It depends on the place, but I think egg donors usually need to be under 30.
But if I were eligible, I'd have to be pretty desperate for money to be an egg donor. From what I understand, it is a painful and awful process. Donors need to take pills for many months that boost up their egg production (something like that), but the pills cause extreme nausea. Even $10K isn't enough for me to sign on to feel really sick all the time for months.
For me, being a surrogate is an even bigger no. I don't want children and have never had a child. Being pregnant sounds like utter hell to me. No offense to the moms out there and the other members TTCing! I totally admire y'all because I would be miserable being pregnant and then giving birth. I wouldn't even be a surrogate for someone really close to me, like a sibling or BFF.

This!

brij2006 · December 2015

I would do egg donation, but not surrogacy.

Egg donation is complex and intense. There's a lot of injections, medications, mood swings, etc. But I've been down the fertility treatment road (thankfully not to that extent), and would know what I was signing up for. But I'm not a good candidate because I don't ovulate on my own.

Surrogacy I had actually looked into a long time ago, for a friend struggling with IF. I was ready to do it, but thankfully their 5th IVF treatment took. Now that I have had my own child and have gone through pregnancy and childbirth, I don't think I could do it. There was something about a baby being born and that instant connection and love. It would tear me apart to give birth then have them take the baby. I know I could probably do it, knowing it was for the benefit of someone else getting that ultimate love and connection. But that would play a huge mental game with me, and I know it would end with me in therapy.

But again, I'm not a great candidate for either one (didn't know that at the time when discussing surrogacy with my friend), so it likely would never happen.

However, my H and I had the discussion when we were pursuing fertility treatments, that if we did end up needing to go through IVF, we would donate any extra embryos that were achieved. We knew it meant we would likely have children out there that someone else had given birth to and someone else is raising. But we looked at it that we had already went through the hell to get those embryos, so they may as well go to use for someone who may not have that opportunity and is pursuing donated embryos. There is 1 organization who donates them to couples for free. Their waiting list is 2-3 years for an embryo. You can choose to have the donation be open or closed. So we would have had the option to later see and meet our other child(ren), or to never know who chose our embryos and whether or not they were successful.

If we end up needing to get assistance to have baby #2 and it comes to that point, we will likely still choose the same.

cbee817 · December 2015

I'm too old at this point, but I wouldn't be able to do either since having kids. The connection during pregnancy would be too overwhelming for surrogacy and egg donation would not be something I would feel comfortable with either. Not sure if it's because I'm getting older (34) , a lot of family/friends are having babies, if it's because I know there's no way we can get pregnant (DH had a vasectomy in 2013), or because the girls are growing up so fast, but I've been baby crazy lately. I'm sure it'll pass- maybe we need a puppy!

julieanne912 · December 2015

For 30-40k, I'd do it... that would pay off my car and about 1/3 of my student loans. But I'm too old and probably not the type they're looking for anyway.

kyrgyzstan · December 2015

I wouldn't do it for the money but would do it for one of my sisters or closest friend. I did the majority of the injections for a former friend of mine when she went through IVF. It was a lot leading up to the retrieval and she was in a lot of pain. It was hard to even do the injections because I knew it was hurting her. Her IVF was successful and she had twin boys. I'm sure she'd say it was all worth it, but it wouldn't be for the money, not for me.

Erikan73 · December 2015

I had looked into it at one point, but I was already too old for their requirements. Once I saw that I stopped researching the issue any further to get details of what was all involved.

LastNameJane · December 2015

Wow, just wow. A lot of misinformation on this thread. The ASRM code of ethics caps egg donation compensation at 10K. Some of you ladies on this thread are truly lucky in that it is painfully obvious that you have no experience with long and complicated infertility histories (I've gone through IVF nine times in all ways, shapes and forms). Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I would say the bulk of women donating eggs or volunteering as surrogates (there are always exceptions, of course) are doing it for something more than money. Indeed it is a complicated and painful process (not "months of pills", but up to a couple weeks of injections). Thank god there are women selfless enough out there to be egg donors and surrogates to allow others, through no fault of their own, the chance to become mothers. If any of you are truly interested in this subject, try posting on the bump third party reproduction board, the Resolve infertility board or parents via egg donation. And if not, just thank god you don't have to pursue this very long and complicated road to be a parent.

LastNameJane · December 2015

julieanne912 said:

For 30-40k, I'd do it... that would pay off my car and about 1/3 of my student loans. But I'm too old and probably not the type they're looking for anyway.

Yeah, probably not

Xstatic3333 · December 2015

LastNameJane said:
Wow, just wow. A lot of misinformation on this thread. The ASRM code of ethics caps egg donation compensation at 10K. Some of you ladies on this thread are truly lucky in that it is painfully obvious that you have no experience with long and complicated infertility histories (I've gone through IVF nine times in all ways, shapes and forms). Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I would say the bulk of women donating eggs or volunteering as surrogates (there are always exceptions, of course) are doing it for something more than money. Indeed it is a complicated and painful process (not "months of pills", but up to a couple weeks of injections). Thank god there are women selfless enough out there to be egg donors and surrogates to allow others, through no fault of their own, the chance to become mothers.

If any of you are truly interested in this subject, try posting on the bump third party reproduction board, the Resolve infertility board or parents via egg donation. And if not, just thank god you don't have to pursue this very long and complicated road to be a parent.

I think many or most of us said that if we did do it, it would be for non-financial reasons. It is a serious, painful medical procedure, and though it helps so many and its great that women do it, I think looking at it and deciding it's not for you is a very valid opinion to hold.

It's good to hear that there's a cap on compensation. However, although I can't find the proof, I'm pretty sure I used to see ads advertising way higher compensation when I was in college. Perhaps it was couples searching for their own donor who didn't know about the limit or wanted to provide higher compensation through unofficial channels.

dragonstarjk · December 2015

LastNameJane said:

Wow, just wow. A lot of misinformation on this thread. The ASRM code of ethics caps egg donation compensation at 10K. Some of you ladies on this thread are truly lucky in that it is painfully obvious that you have no experience with long and complicated infertility histories (I've gone through IVF nine times in all ways, shapes and forms). Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I would say the bulk of women donating eggs or volunteering as surrogates (there are always exceptions, of course) are doing it for something more than money. Indeed it is a complicated and painful process (not "months of pills", but up to a couple weeks of injections). Thank god there are women selfless enough out there to be egg donors and surrogates to allow others, through no fault of their own, the chance to become mothers. If any of you are truly interested in this subject, try posting on the bump third party reproduction board, the Resolve infertility board or parents via egg donation. And if not, just thank god you don't have to pursue this very long and complicated road to be a parent.

The question was asked, and several people, myself included, gave honest answers. Most even admitted not knowing much about the process; I know I don't, because I've never looked into it. I'm sorry if that offended you, but everybody has their own reasons for wanting or not wanting to have children, and for wanting or not wanting to be involved in egg donation/surrogacy. Although I do not plan on having children, I am truly sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult time. I can't imagine how hard it must be.

hoffse · December 2015

Xstatic3333 said: Wow, just wow. A lot of misinformation on this thread. The ASRM code of ethics caps egg donation compensation at 10K. Some of you ladies on this thread are truly lucky in that it is painfully obvious that you have no experience with long and complicated infertility histories (I've gone through IVF nine times in all ways, shapes and forms). Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I would say the bulk of women donating eggs or volunteering as surrogates (there are always exceptions, of course) are doing it for something more than money. Indeed it is a complicated and painful process (not "months of pills", but up to a couple weeks of injections). Thank god there are women selfless enough out there to be egg donors and surrogates to allow others, through no fault of their own, the chance to become mothers. If any of you are truly interested in this subject, try posting on the bump third party reproduction board, the Resolve infertility board or parents via egg donation. And if not, just thank god you don't have to pursue this very long and complicated road to be a parent. I think many or most of us said that if we did do it, it would be for non-financial reasons. It is a serious, painful medical procedure, and though it helps so many and its great that women do it, I think looking at it and deciding it's not for you is a very valid opinion to hold. It's good to hear that there's a cap on compensation. However, although I can't find the proof, I'm pretty sure I used to see ads advertising way higher compensation when I was in college. Perhaps it was couples searching for their own donor who didn't know about the limit or wanted to provide higher compensation through unofficial channels.

This. As I said, I looked into it because I was thinking about doing it to get some money to go to law school. I went to a tier 1 college, and they were advertising compensation significantly higher than $10K on our campus because outside of medical histories, virtually every woman on campus met the SAT/ACT minimums and personal achievement data points that those companies were looking for. We would not have been accepted to that college if we didn't. This company matched a donor with the recipient couple, and the couples chose the donor through a very extensive application process that the donor went through. I don't know what medical ethics says about it, but I do know that private couples were paying way more than $10K at least 4 or 5 years ago to women on my campus.

I hate to get political with this, but women have the right to choose what happens to their own bodies. If that means they do not want to be parents or undergo the treatment necessary to donate eggs or be a surrogate, there's absolutely nothing wrong about that, and it's not something to be judgmental about.

Also, @LastNameJane, this is a money board, not a babies or fertility board. Those other topics come up of course, but usually in the broader context of money and finance. Don't be surprised if the financial side of those kinds of those topics are being discussed here.

JoanE2012 · December 2015

LastNameJane said:

Wow, just wow. A lot of misinformation on this thread. The ASRM code of ethics caps egg donation compensation at 10K. Some of you ladies on this thread are truly lucky in that it is painfully obvious that you have no experience with long and complicated infertility histories (I've gone through IVF nine times in all ways, shapes and forms). Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I would say the bulk of women donating eggs or volunteering as surrogates (there are always exceptions, of course) are doing it for something more than money. Indeed it is a complicated and painful process (not "months of pills", but up to a couple weeks of injections). Thank god there are women selfless enough out there to be egg donors and surrogates to allow others, through no fault of their own, the chance to become mothers. If any of you are truly interested in this subject, try posting on the bump third party reproduction board, the Resolve infertility board or parents via egg donation. And if not, just thank god you don't have to pursue this very long and complicated road to be a parent.

I googled ASRM - their report says that amounts above $10,000 are "not appropriate". Sounds more like guidelines, not hard and fast rules/laws - especially as I, like other PPs here, have seen amounts above 10k offered.

julieanne912 · December 2015

LastNameJane said:

Wow, just wow. A lot of misinformation on this thread. The ASRM code of ethics caps egg donation compensation at 10K. Some of you ladies on this thread are truly lucky in that it is painfully obvious that you have no experience with long and complicated infertility histories (I've gone through IVF nine times in all ways, shapes and forms). Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I would say the bulk of women donating eggs or volunteering as surrogates (there are always exceptions, of course) are doing it for something more than money. Indeed it is a complicated and painful process (not "months of pills", but up to a couple weeks of injections). Thank god there are women selfless enough out there to be egg donors and surrogates to allow others, through no fault of their own, the chance to become mothers. If any of you are truly interested in this subject, try posting on the bump third party reproduction board, the Resolve infertility board or parents via egg donation. And if not, just thank god you don't have to pursue this very long and complicated road to be a parent.

Annddd responses like this are exactly why I don't hang out on The Bump.

vlagrl29 · December 2015

julieanne912 said:

LastNameJane said:

Wow, just wow. A lot of misinformation on this thread. The ASRM code of ethics caps egg donation compensation at 10K. Some of you ladies on this thread are truly lucky in that it is painfully obvious that you have no experience with long and complicated infertility histories (I've gone through IVF nine times in all ways, shapes and forms). Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I would say the bulk of women donating eggs or volunteering as surrogates (there are always exceptions, of course) are doing it for something more than money. Indeed it is a complicated and painful process (not "months of pills", but up to a couple weeks of injections). Thank god there are women selfless enough out there to be egg donors and surrogates to allow others, through no fault of their own, the chance to become mothers. If any of you are truly interested in this subject, try posting on the bump third party reproduction board, the Resolve infertility board or parents via egg donation. And if not, just thank god you don't have to pursue this very long and complicated road to be a parent.

Annddd responses like this are exactly why I don't hang out on The Bump.

I don't hang on the bump either - haven't in at least a year. Too much drama

sillygoosegirl · December 2015

I could see myself doing it, in some alternate reality where I wasn't too old and didn't have a family medical history that leaves even me slightly afraid of my eggs. I'm not sure if the money is good enough though... but when I was 23 maybe it would have been.

Would you do it (egg donor)?

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