mom spends $2300 on xmas gifts for kids

vlagrl29 · December 2015

Article is below. Our budget is $500 total including gifts for DH and I. I couldn't imagine how stressed I would be on Christmas day with all that junk.

http://www.today.com/parents/mom-fires-back-over-criticism-christmas-tree-photo-showing-pile-t60881

hoffse · December 2015

TBH it's the huge pile of gifts that bugs me more than the amount of money she spent. $2300 is a lot of money, but not necessarily crazy if you're talking about a big gift being a piece of furniture or a piece of nice jewelry or something.

It's just the stack that blows me away. My guess is she took that $2300 and spent it $10-$25 at a time to get a stack that big. Crazy.

julieanne912 · December 2015

hoffse said:

TBH it's the huge pile of gifts that bugs me more than the amount of money she spent. $2300 is a lot of money, but not necessarily crazy if you're talking about a big gift being a piece of furniture or a piece of nice jewelry or something.

It's just the stack that blows me away. My guess is she took that $2300 and spent it $10-$25 at a time to get a stack that big. Crazy.

Same here. H's dad and his GF probably spend that much and more.... like a couple years ago just my gifts alone from them (including the cash in a card) were probably worth $400.

But that pile is just obscene. No kid needs that much stuff, EVER.

brij2006 · December 2015

Personally, I think it's insane and not the reason for Christmas at all. Put that money into their college savings account each year, it will mean a lot more to them than 25 presents a piece that they won't remember.

However, I'm in the "to each their own" camp. If you want to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars at Christmas, then that's your choice. But I have no sympathy when someone complains about their credit card bill or that they had to take out a loan to pay for Christmas.

Christmas isn't an unplanned expense. It's at the same time every year. Whether you spend $23 or $2,300, it can be planned for.

But I'm probably a Scrooge. DD is receiving a book from us, that I grabbed at a thrift store for 50 cents.

csuave · December 2015

Do kids even put that much stuff on their lists?

Xstatic3333 · December 2015

I can speak to this a little bit. Though I never had a pile like that, my family always went BIG on the physical gifts at Christmas. It was more often in the form of 1-2 big ticket items, but I wouldn't be surprised if that's about what my family's Christmas budget was growing up. It's my dad's love language and he had pretty lean Christmases growing up, so of course I'm grateful that they worked so hard to make it special for me. From the age of around 8 right up until today, however, I started to find the whole thing very stressful. There was always a lot of pressure from each parent to pick out the best, biggest gift for me to "give" the other one. They'd say "Oh don't worry about me, but we need to pick out something great for your Mom!" but of course I didn't want to favor one over the other. After Christmas, I remember hiding most of the gifts when friends came over because I was kind of embarrassed about all of the stuff that accumulated among the three of us. Even in my early 20s and college, while I was racking up SL and CC debt, I still felt like I had to spend at least $200 on each parent.

This year, as I've mentioned before, my parents hit a wall after moving and decided they want to go minimal. I've never been so excited for a Christmas! Less pressure and more time and money to have fun together. Gifts seem to be a love language for H, too, however. I can never convince him to pause gifts completely, even when we have a big trip coming up to save for. Usually we can keep it to one thing that the other person really wants and will use that's not a throwaway. Last year I got him nice hiking poles and he got me a fleece that I wear all the time. I'm hoping that when we have our kids we can do the "Something you want, something you need..." system. It seems really ingenious to me.

vlagrl29 · December 2015

Yeah we are doing the something you want , need etc with dd this year but she is obsessed with shopkins so we are going to give in to that this year.

als1982 · December 2015

My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year.

What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.

Mustard76 · December 2015

als1982 said:
My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year.

What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.

hoffse · December 2015

I do agree that I hope she's saving for college instead of prioritizing $2300 of gifts.

But for the sake of argument, let's say she is. At that point I don't know if it's unreasonable to spend that much on kids, as long as you're spending it on something valuable. I could see it getting that high for a mid-range musical instrument (BTDT). Or perhaps when buying a real bedroom set for a teen who has outgrown kid furniture. Or taking the family on vacation for the holidays or something. And she has three kids, so she's averaging just over $750 each.

What I think is ridiculous is buying that many separate items. Honestly, that's like the haul southerners tend to get for their weddings. When H and I got married, it took us about 6 hours to unwrap all of our gifts, take photos with them to send to the giver, etc. By the time we were done, we had gotten numb to it.

julieanne912 · December 2015

als1982 said:

My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year. What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.

You really don't see a problem with giving a kid more presents than they could possibly use? I think that's what most people are freaking out about, not the $$ amount.

What is also obscene about this is she felt the need to post a picture of it on Instagram for the entire world to see. Bragging like that is gross.

Xstatic3333 · December 2015

I would agree that when I see that picture, my assumption is that it's lots of small, cheap toys that won't have lasting value. Perhaps that's not the case, but that's where my mind goes. I don't think it's wrong to spend what you can afford on Christmas. However, I'll stand by the experience that for me, a large emphasis on the expense and quantity of gifts adds stress to the holiday, even when I'm on the receiving end, too.

I actually think that spending in that range probably isn't that unusual. My unscientific Google search just revealed that the average adult is expected to spend around $800 on Christmas gifts this year. Assuming that's per person, not per family, we're pretty close to that woman's number once we double it.

als1982 · December 2015

Mustard76 said:

als1982 said:
My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year.

What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.

Absolutely agree, but I feel that same way about most Facebook and Instagram posts, which 99% of the time have one of two purposes: bitching or bragging.

Mustard76 · December 2015

als1982 said:

Mustard76 said:

als1982 said:
My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year.

What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.
Absolutely agree, but I feel that same way about most Facebook and Instagram posts, which 99% of the time have one of two purposes: bitching or bragging.

Yes! This is why my comment in the 2016 goal thread included a goal to break up with Facebook. I can't handle the bitching and bragging. Spot on!

als1982 · December 2015

Mustard76 said:

als1982 said:

Mustard76 said:

als1982 said:
My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year.

What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.
Absolutely agree, but I feel that same way about most Facebook and Instagram posts, which 99% of the time have one of two purposes: bitching or bragging.
Yes! This is why my comment in the 2016 goal thread included a goal to break up with Facebook. I can't handle the bitching and bragging. Spot on!

I would LOVE to do this too. My only hesitation is that FB Messenger has become the primary way my circle of friends communicate plans.

orangehills · December 2015

My parents used to give us a lot of presents each year. I enjoyed it, but as I got older and they gave less, I would get disappointed and sad if I didn't have a lot. Then I realized that's not the point. I still like receiving gifts, but not tons. So I won't make the same mistake, Christmas in our house will be nice, but not tons of presents, and not spending a ton of money. It's not in our budget anyway. I think this lady is nuts, to each their own.. but I think she was just bragging posting that pic online, so what does she expect that people would have opinions!

vlagrl29 · December 2015

seriously I can't take much toys - so I'm really hoping that half of those toys are education and things they need versus want. That's just me I guess - I try and keep it minimalistic cause I have anxiety issues. I'm also hoping that she doesn't give her kids much throughout the year and just saves it all for xmas. I would almost rather spend that money on a vacation to take my kids to because experience means more to me. Also hope she is saving for kids as well.

Our budget for DD is $150 for xmas. So far we've gotten her a bb8 remote control robot, some clothing, books, 2 princess dolls, and we plan on still getting her shopkins and a marble playset.

JoanE2012 · December 2015

I don't judge the money spent - hey, $2,300 could be the equivalent of me going out and spending $100 - no big deal. There are people out there very well off. What someone else chooses to do with their money is their business. Though I do kinda judge the sheer number of presents - I think it's ridiculous and goes against the spirit of the holiday.

MommyLiberty5013 · December 2015

als1982 said:

My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year. What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.
Absolutely agree, but I feel that same way about most Facebook and Instagram posts, which 99% of the time have one of two purposes: bitching or bragging.

I do neither. I discuss religion and politics. It's like the "evil step sister" to bitching and bragging. But, honestly, it's more fun.

blondie42107 · December 2015

This would not happen in my house but I'm in the "to each their own" boat.

I've been meaning to ask my friend what her thoughts are. She grew up, youngest of 4. Her dad is a MD specialist and her mom is specialized in the education field. Growing up for them, Christmas was huge!! But she said they got nothing the rest of the year. Even their birthdays were minimal - maybe a shirt or sweater but never toys! Her family is spiritual and she grew up knowing the real meaning of Christmas.

I use Facebook, Instagram, etc but I don't post pictures of our Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, or many pictures of the kids' birthday party, etc. I don't see the need. I know many others do and that's fine.

Personally I was pretty excited when my mother in law called and asked if we preferred a gift card or cash for the kids for Christmas. H told her cash and she immediately said, "That's what I figured because I know you'll use it for a zoo or children's museum membership or something similar." She knows we spend wisely without knowing any of our financial details. H is the opposite of his sister and it shows! Mother in law still got them a couple things to open.

PurpleBookmark · December 2015

als1982 said:

Mustard76 said:

als1982 said:

Mustard76 said:

als1982 said:
My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year.

What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.
Absolutely agree, but I feel that same way about most Facebook and Instagram posts, which 99% of the time have one of two purposes: bitching or bragging.
Yes! This is why my comment in the 2016 goal thread included a goal to break up with Facebook. I can't handle the bitching and bragging. Spot on!
I would LOVE to do this too. My only hesitation is that FB Messenger has become the primary way my circle of friends communicate plans.

This is my issue as well, I'd like to drop FB but it's my way to contact a good number of more casual friends that we still get together with a few times per year. My feed is 90% political, inappropriate jokes and news stories or weather reports that people share. I love the kid pictures and I don't mind the inspirational quotes but it's just kind of a waste of time. I've been unfollowing pretty much everyone except close family and friends.

als1982 · December 2015

MommyLiberty5013 said:

als1982 said:

Mustard76 said:

als1982 said:
My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year.

What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.
Absolutely agree, but I feel that same way about most Facebook and Instagram posts, which 99% of the time have one of two purposes: bitching or bragging.

I do neither. I discuss religion and politics. It's like the "evil step sister" to bitching and bragging. But, honestly, it's more fun.

That's even worse, and a great way to alienate family and friends.

vlagrl29 · December 2015

I really don't have any friends on FB that post crazy stuff so I guess I'm lucky

PurpleBookmark · December 2015

I don't exactly judge this person, only because I know nothing about her family, income, etc. For us we have a budget of $50 per kid and that happened to be 4 gifts per kid this year. I could have gone to the Dollar Store and walked out with 150 individual things if I really wanted to but that would drive me nuts lol.

Plus my kids tend to open the first gift and immediately want to play with it, disregarding everything else. My goal this year is to help them to be gracious in receiving, they get a lot of gifts from family and I would ideally like them to thank the person that gives their last gift as excitedly as the person that gives them their first gift.

abrewer5 · December 2015

Mustard76 said:

My parents spent at least that amount if not more on my brother and me every year. What really irks me is why our society has collectively decided it's okay for people to judge those who have more than they do. It would never be considered appropriate to publicly degrade someone for buying their children very little or nothing for Christmas. Neither is right or wrong, but judging either school of thought is.
I wholeheartedly agree with this. However, my real problem is that she put it on social media in the first place. That definitely has the appearance of showing off, or bragging about what she can do for her kids. That's what I don't like about it. Or really social media in general. It's all very AW-ish. I don't judge her for spending her money or "spoiling" her kids, because I really don't care. But I don't like the braggart feel of it.
Absolutely agree, but I feel that same way about most Facebook and Instagram posts, which 99% of the time have one of two purposes: bitching or bragging.
Yes! This is why my comment in the 2016 goal thread included a goal to break up with Facebook. I can't handle the bitching and bragging. Spot on!

I broke up with Facebook about 2 months ago and I do not miss it AT ALL. The only time I get slightly sad about it is when I miss out on seeing updated pictures of friend's kids or I don't get invited to something because :GASP: you can't just pick up the phone and call someone or send them a text to invite them, it can only be done of FB now.

short+sassy · December 2015

I did the math from the article. If there are 3 children who are each receiving about 85 presents, that is a total of 255 presents. 2300 divided by 255 is an average of $9.20 per present.

Plus, I mean, I know kids like to open presents. But like @hoffse pointed out, it is going to take forever to open all those gifts and will probably almost become a chore after a few hours.

Like most of you all pointed out, it really isn't the money spent...heck, some people buy each other or their teenager a brand new car for X-mas and I wouldn't side-eye that (assuming its easily afforded)...its just the sheer amount of stuff.

I guarantee you she spent a lot more on wrapping paper and bows than my H and I will spend on our gifts to each other combined, lol.

Where did she even find the time for all that wrapping and shopping? If Dante were still around, I think he'd need to add another circle of hell to his novel, Inferno.

mom spends $2300 on xmas gifts for kids

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