Money Matters
luv4LO
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Tired of always picking up the tab!
I need advice on how to handle this. My younger sister, who is an adult and married, with one child and one on the way, always expects me to pick up the tab. I am a working mother, married, with one child and one the way too. She doesn't work but they are always broke. She is not not working because they are comfortable but because of laziness. She often complains to me about her husband spending all the money and they are broke. It's even gotten to the point where her husband thinks I will pay too. Often times its just me and my 1 year old out with her family (my husband doesn't want to come!). So that puts me paying for her family while my son and I hardly have a tab. I should mention they don't do it cheap either, drinks and dessert for everyone. I try to avoid doing things with them because it's so expensive for me. If we travel to another city she doesn't pitch in for gas. If we go to an event she doesn't get me money for her ticket or admission.
One dynamic that makes it hard is that we lost our parents when we were young, I was a freshman in college and she was a sophomore in high school. She had to finish her high school years living with our grandparents. I feel like she got so spoiled and was never taught the proper etiquette when it comes to paying your own way. That and always knowing how broke they are makes me feel bad for her so I end up just paying and hating it. But also I love being with her as we don't have our parents or grandparents any more, so she's all I have for family. I just need her to know I can't cover them anymore. Any suggestions?!
Re: Tired of always picking up the tab!
I'm with others, stop automatically buying tickets to include her. Just buy tickets for your family. If it's something you think they would enjoy, tell her, hey we're going to this event, but we can't swing tickets for everyone, if you want to go, this is the ticket price & I need the money by this time.
To spend time together, invite them over & then maybe order some pizza, that's a cheap night in and maybe grab something for dessert from the store. If they ask you out, let them know in advance, hey I know I've been picking up the tab a lot, but I need to cut back on expenses with the baby on the way, I can only cover my family. If they say oh never mind, then it's on them. But you have to put your foot down at some point, else how will they ever learn.
So them by example on how to live a good life without spending a ton of movie, like family trip to the library to pick out movies & then either order pizza in or get the ingredients so that everyone can make their own little pizza. Or play date at the park where the kids can run around and burn off energy & you pack a picnic lunch for yourselves.
If she continues to complain about her financial situation, ask her, what are you doing to change things? That is my biggest things, people who complain and complain be it about their money, family, work. relationship or health issues, but never do anything to change things.
I get into situations where no one asks for separate checks up front and then when the bill comes we are trying to figure it out. It is so much easier just get separate as soon as possible.
TTC since 1/13 DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system.
Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
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Riley Elaine born 2/16/15
TTC 2.0 6/15
Chemical Pregnancy 9/15
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BFP 9/16 EDD 6/3/17
Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
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What about suggesting family dinner night once a month at the others house. That person is responsible for dinner & entertainment which can be a movie, board games or something else that can include the kids. How expensive it gets, depends on what you prepare. It can be a simple pizza night or even a frozen ravoli and French bread pizza. You can easily make an affordable meal for a family of 6, for about $20. And if you guys aren't always footing the bill, maybe your husband will start joining in.