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rude assumptions

I was talking with a woman at work about cars and it came out that my husband and I share one vehicle. She says "oh I'm sorry" so I said "why? we sold our second car because we never drove it and realized we didn't need it" and she STILL says "yea, but not having your own - I'm still sorry".

Ugh. She's a fairly judgmental person any way and so that was just annoying. I don't need her pity because she thinks we can't afford two cars when, in reality, we very easily could but we've chosen not to own more cars than we need. 

Re: rude assumptions

  • Jeez! Well that was rude of her! Hey, if one car works for your family more power to you, and the less bills for you! I'm jealous of that!
  • My H hasn't owned a car for years.  Although he's been unemployed for awhile, his last two jobs he could ride his bike to.  He still rides his bike for most of the stuff he needs to do.

    Over the last year, he has needed to go further afield with the rehab we were doing, but the bus only took 10 minutes longer than a car anyway!  So he just took the bus.

    Unfortunately, that era is coming to an end in the near future and I'm bummed about it.  It's been great!

    Your coworker was probably just feeling bad for you because SHE couldn't imagine sharing a car.  But, yes, the assumption is very annoying.

    Before he started his kayaking business, we had a friend who didn't own a car for a number of years.  He worked from home and was a voracious bicycler anyway.  He needed a car for running more major errands or going on a weekend getaway about once every month or two.  So then he would just rent a car the one or few days he needed it.  He did the math on it and, even with occasionally renting a car, saved tons of money doing that.

  • Your coworker was probably just feeling bad for you because SHE couldn't imagine sharing a car.  But, yes, the assumption is very annoying.
    This was my thought.

    Right now with our schedules my wife and I could make a single car work, but either someone would be trapped at home while the other was at work or the non-worker and the baby would be inconvenienced to drop the worker off at work and then go back to get them.  It's just easier to have multiple cars and means we each have more freedom.

    Kudos to anybody who can make it work though.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • my parents made it on 1 car for quite some time when I was little.  I remember every morning we would drive dad to work and my mom would have the car for the rest of the day.  Then we would pick him up after work.

    DH and I on the other hand couldn't do it - our schedules are different.  I can't drop DH off at work and take the car  cause he needs to leave his work quite a bit.  On the other hand i wouldn't want to be stuck at home all the time if he took the car.
  • I definitely get that it doesn't work for everyone, but I honestly am so happy that we don't need two! Our driveway only fits two cars so it's nice to have a spot for guests. It works for us because we live in a very walkable Boston suburb with decent public transit so being at home without a car isn't the end of the world. DH drives to work because his job gives him free parking and we work really close to each other - our schedules are different so I still take the train, but if I need the car midday for some reason I just walk over and take it and give him my train pass instead. 

    I'm going to sound cheesy for a second, but I think having to share has been better for our marriage. We sold the car in January 2015 and since then have had a couple of times where we both wanted the car - it makes us really talk it out and get on the same page and problem solve together. Even if the solution has been to take an uber it is still WAY cheaper than owning a second car. 
  • I am so jealous of the Boston area's public transit system!  

    We've gotten this from others too.  Once a family member seriously offered to let us come over and watch their TV when they found out we didn't have cable.  (???)  This person is in debt up to the gills and can't afford it, meanwhile we never struggled for other forms of entertainment or things to watch on Prime or off the antenna.
    HeartlandHustle | Personal Finance and Betterment Blog  
  • als1982 said:
    I am so jealous of the Boston area's public transit system!
    In some ways we'd love to live in an area with better public transit, but the cost of living would go up in so many other ways so it's a wash.
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  • als1982 said:
    I am so jealous of the Boston area's public transit system!  

    We've gotten this from others too.  Once a family member seriously offered to let us come over and watch their TV when they found out we didn't have cable.  (???)  This person is in debt up to the gills and can't afford it, meanwhile we never struggled for other forms of entertainment or things to watch on Prime or off the antenna.

    I was AMAZED at the subway system in NYC.  Once my H and I figured it out, lol, we could just get anywhere we wanted to go.

    My H and I are considering a trip to Boston, so it's great to hear they have a good transit system also.

    Here in NOLA, I've been pleasantly surprised at how good and convenient our bus system is.  As long as you are staying within the city.  Trying to get to the suburbs though, which are in a different parish (county), are a huge PITA.

    We also have streetcars here, which are very charming, but their routes are limited and only service three major streets.

  • jtmh2012 said:
    als1982 said:
    I am so jealous of the Boston area's public transit system!
    In some ways we'd love to live in an area with better public transit, but the cost of living would go up in so many other ways so it's a wash.
    Cost wise it definitely washes out, especially for housing. I'm not allowed to watch House Hunters when my husband is around because I yell at the TV when people complain about the paint colors in a brand new, 4k sq ft house with an acre of land because they think for $150k it shouldn't even need new paint. To me that's just totally absurd because the house down the street from us sold for $510k this summer and it was advertised as a full-gut. If a $150k house existed in my city I'd do a little painting! 

    We could move further out of the city and get slightly cheaper housing, but our commuting time/costs would go up. We can spend $2k/month on the house or $1500 on the house and $500 on a second car - if we're still spending the same amount in the end we'd rather be in a location we really take advantage of. We literally can walk 5 minutes in one direction and be on Main Street with lots of restaurants and shops. A 10 minute walk in the other direction has us hiking in the woods. It's my ultimate dream location, even if the house/yard still need a lot of work.
  • Cost wise it definitely washes out, especially for housing. I'm not allowed to watch House Hunters when my husband is around because I yell at the TV when people complain about the paint colors in a brand new, 4k sq ft house with an acre of land because they think for $150k it shouldn't even need new paint. To me that's just totally absurd because the house down the street from us sold for $510k this summer and it was advertised as a full-gut. If a $150k house existed in my city I'd do a little painting! 

    You can get some mighty nice estates for $500k here.  The gut jobs are normally the sub $100k houses.  Although, do keep in mind, I'm in the suburbs and the city proper is probably higher.

    I can't get over the paint color thing either, but only because I couldn't imagine passing up a house because the walls were the wrong color.  Honestly, I think it's all done for TV.  The people on that show have already bought their house and the other two houses are usually friends or family from what I've read.

    I quit watching more because They never look at houses under about $300k and one time I was watching the intro said "and the couple has a budget of only $1.2 million".  I don't care if you're in Hawaii, using the word "only" combined with "million" annoys me.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Sometimes on the days I am walking to work someone from the office will be in their car and offer me a ride.  It is nice of them but I'm like no thanks I'm walking because I actually want to :) 

    I think it is sad that a lot of Americans (including my H) are so entrenched in the idea of driving everywhere...even if it is only a walkable 1.5 miles away.  When we have Americans stay at our BnB a lot of them Uber and bring cars but the people from other countries definitely get their walk on and tell us about how much they like the accessibility of restaurants, parks and museums within 1.5 miles....meanwhile an American said in her review of our place that there wasn't a convenient coffee shop in the area.  Sigh, Panera is literally a 10 minute/.5 mile walk from our house.
  • csuave said:
    Sometimes on the days I am walking to work someone from the office will be in their car and offer me a ride.  It is nice of them but I'm like no thanks I'm walking because I actually want to :) 

    I think it is sad that a lot of Americans (including my H) are so entrenched in the idea of driving everywhere...even if it is only a walkable 1.5 miles away.  When we have Americans stay at our BnB a lot of them Uber and bring cars but the people from other countries definitely get their walk on and tell us about how much they like the accessibility of restaurants, parks and museums within 1.5 miles....meanwhile an American said in her review of our place that there wasn't a convenient coffee shop in the area.  Sigh, Panera is literally a 10 minute/.5 mile walk from our house.


    I hear what you're saying, but feel the need to give my viewpoint.  To me, 1.5 miles is a very long walk and not something I would enjoy at all.  Plus it is very time consuming.  I don't mind a lot of walking (and expect to be walking a lot) when I am on vacation, but will never walk that far if I can help it in my day to day life.

    Speaking of AirBnB, although I only occasionally rent out the other side of my duplex on there, I mention the French Quarter is walking distance, but qualify that it is a long walk.  About .7 miles to the fringe and 1.0 mile to the main Bourbon St. area.

    Though I agree the person who complained there wasn't a convenient coffee shop, when there is one 1.5 miles away, was a bit ridiculous.  Sure, a long walk (to me), but a very short drive.  Hello????  If someone wants a convenient coffee shop, than go stay at a hotel that has a Starbucks in the lobby.  But most AirBnB locations are in residential areas.  That is part of why it is a different experience.

  • Shoot, you walk 1.5 miles from my house and you are still in the middle of nowhere LOL
  • Regardless of the reason why you don't have a second car I find it annoying that anyone says, "Oh I'm sorry." Even if you couldn't afford it, implying pity is annoying to me. There are things in the world that I really can't afford, but I'm still doing just fine and need no one's pity. Ugggghh. People are obnoxious. 
  • I hear what you're saying, but feel the need to give my viewpoint.  To me, 1.5 miles is a very long walk and not something I would enjoy at all.  Plus it is very time consuming.  I don't mind a lot of walking (and expect to be walking a lot) when I am on vacation, but will never walk that far if I can help it in my day to day life.

    I think the other thing to remember is that some areas are better than others.  Around here, we have a lot of multi-lane high speed roads and no sidewalks.  It's just not safe to walk.  Our neighborhood is right behind the mall and a couple shopping centers.  You could walk there.  According to Google it's about 1.4 miles or 27 minutes, but I'd probably be flattened by the time I got there and would have to worry about the toddler.  Although, at 30 mins.  Not sure if I'd want to do that even w/o the traffic...lol

    I also don't consider Panera a "coffee shop". :P

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • csuave said:
    Sometimes on the days I am walking to work someone from the office will be in their car and offer me a ride.  It is nice of them but I'm like no thanks I'm walking because I actually want to :) 

    I think it is sad that a lot of Americans (including my H) are so entrenched in the idea of driving everywhere...even if it is only a walkable 1.5 miles away.  When we have Americans stay at our BnB a lot of them Uber and bring cars but the people from other countries definitely get their walk on and tell us about how much they like the accessibility of restaurants, parks and museums within 1.5 miles....meanwhile an American said in her review of our place that there wasn't a convenient coffee shop in the area.  Sigh, Panera is literally a 10 minute/.5 mile walk from our house.


    I hear what you're saying, but feel the need to give my viewpoint.  To me, 1.5 miles is a very long walk and not something I would enjoy at all.  Plus it is very time consuming.  I don't mind a lot of walking (and expect to be walking a lot) when I am on vacation, but will never walk that far if I can help it in my day to day life.

    Speaking of AirBnB, although I only occasionally rent out the other side of my duplex on there, I mention the French Quarter is walking distance, but qualify that it is a long walk.  About .7 miles to the fringe and 1.0 mile to the main Bourbon St. area.

    Though I agree the person who complained there wasn't a convenient coffee shop, when there is one 1.5 miles away, was a bit ridiculous.  Sure, a long walk (to me), but a very short drive.  Hello????  If someone wants a convenient coffee shop, than go stay at a hotel that has a Starbucks in the lobby.  But most AirBnB locations are in residential areas.  That is part of why it is a different experience.

    I totally agree with you.  I could walk to work every day but I don't do it if it is raining, if I am in a hurry, if I have to buy a lot of groceries after, etc.

    I was more getting at the point that people just don't think about walking as an option...their first inclination is to drive.
  • csuave said:
    csuave said:
    Sometimes on the days I am walking to work someone from the office will be in their car and offer me a ride.  It is nice of them but I'm like no thanks I'm walking because I actually want to :) 

    I think it is sad that a lot of Americans (including my H) are so entrenched in the idea of driving everywhere...even if it is only a walkable 1.5 miles away.  When we have Americans stay at our BnB a lot of them Uber and bring cars but the people from other countries definitely get their walk on and tell us about how much they like the accessibility of restaurants, parks and museums within 1.5 miles....meanwhile an American said in her review of our place that there wasn't a convenient coffee shop in the area.  Sigh, Panera is literally a 10 minute/.5 mile walk from our house.


    I hear what you're saying, but feel the need to give my viewpoint.  To me, 1.5 miles is a very long walk and not something I would enjoy at all.  Plus it is very time consuming.  I don't mind a lot of walking (and expect to be walking a lot) when I am on vacation, but will never walk that far if I can help it in my day to day life.

    Speaking of AirBnB, although I only occasionally rent out the other side of my duplex on there, I mention the French Quarter is walking distance, but qualify that it is a long walk.  About .7 miles to the fringe and 1.0 mile to the main Bourbon St. area.

    Though I agree the person who complained there wasn't a convenient coffee shop, when there is one 1.5 miles away, was a bit ridiculous.  Sure, a long walk (to me), but a very short drive.  Hello????  If someone wants a convenient coffee shop, than go stay at a hotel that has a Starbucks in the lobby.  But most AirBnB locations are in residential areas.  That is part of why it is a different experience.

    I totally agree with you.  I could walk to work every day but I don't do it if it is raining, if I am in a hurry, if I have to buy a lot of groceries after, etc.

    I was more getting at the point that people just don't think about walking as an option...their first inclination is to drive.
    This! It's definitely a mindset difference. I have friends think it's weird that I'll walk to the grocery store (about half a mile away), load up my backpack and lug it all home because it takes 25 minutes longer than driving BUT in the same breath say they don't have time to do it my way because they have to get to the gym. Maybe I'm weak and out of shape, but a half mile walk with 30 pounds of groceries on my back is quite the workout to me! I'd rather combine the tasks and save the gas/gym membership fee. 
  • This! It's definitely a mindset difference. I have friends think it's weird that I'll walk to the grocery store (about half a mile away), load up my backpack and lug it all home because it takes 25 minutes longer than driving
    My wife and her family would walk to the market when she was home in Thailand and I definitely thought it was weird.  My family makes a big once a month shopping trip.  We come home with a car load of stuff.  No way I'd be carrying that home.  Even if the weight wasn't an issue, it just isn't possible to hold all the stuff.  My wife's family on the other hand get only what they need for that day and go just about every day.
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  • Shoot, you walk 1.5 miles from my house and you are still in the middle of nowhere LOL

    Yup.  1.5 miles from my house is my in-laws in the country.  That's about it, and we still drive to get there.

    If we wanted to walk to things, you're talking a minimum of a 15 mile walk to get to the nearest town.

    TTC since 1/13  DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
    Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
    1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system. 
    Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
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    Riley Elaine born 2/16/15

    TTC 2.0   6/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 9/15 
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  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    edited August 2016
    brij2006 said:
    Shoot, you walk 1.5 miles from my house and you are still in the middle of nowhere LOL

    Yup.  1.5 miles from my house is my in-laws in the country.  That's about it, and we still drive to get there.

    If we wanted to walk to things, you're talking a minimum of a 15 mile walk to get to the nearest town.
    Yup, for fun I just looked up our walkscore.  It's 0.  Also for fun, I looked up my last apartment in Chicago, it was 92.  Bit of a lifestyle adjustment for me :)
  • brij2006 said:
    Shoot, you walk 1.5 miles from my house and you are still in the middle of nowhere LOL

    Yup.  1.5 miles from my house is my in-laws in the country.  That's about it, and we still drive to get there.

    If we wanted to walk to things, you're talking a minimum of a 15 mile walk to get to the nearest town.
    Yup, for fun I just looked up our walkscore.  It's 0.  Also for fun, I looked up my last apartment in Chicago, it was 92.  Bit of a lifestyle adjustment for me :)

    Ditto. I used to live in Aurora/Naperville area right off 59.  It was easier for me to walk to the store or restaurant than drive there in the 59 mess.

    TTC since 1/13  DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
    Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
    1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system. 
    Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
    Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340  Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
    Riley Elaine born 2/16/15

    TTC 2.0   6/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 9/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
    BFP 9/16  EDD 6/3/17
    Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
    www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com 
                        Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  • brij2006 said:
    brij2006 said:
    Shoot, you walk 1.5 miles from my house and you are still in the middle of nowhere LOL

    Yup.  1.5 miles from my house is my in-laws in the country.  That's about it, and we still drive to get there.

    If we wanted to walk to things, you're talking a minimum of a 15 mile walk to get to the nearest town.
    Yup, for fun I just looked up our walkscore.  It's 0.  Also for fun, I looked up my last apartment in Chicago, it was 92.  Bit of a lifestyle adjustment for me :)

    Ditto. I used to live in Aurora/Naperville area right off 59.  It was easier for me to walk to the store or restaurant than drive there in the 59 mess.
    It's totally different now. There's a diverging diamond right at 88 which has made a huge difference in congestion. Unless you get stuck behind the car that doesn't know where they're going. Ha!  But it's MUCH better than it used to be. 
  • Mustard76 said:
    brij2006 said:
    brij2006 said:
    Shoot, you walk 1.5 miles from my house and you are still in the middle of nowhere LOL

    Yup.  1.5 miles from my house is my in-laws in the country.  That's about it, and we still drive to get there.

    If we wanted to walk to things, you're talking a minimum of a 15 mile walk to get to the nearest town.
    Yup, for fun I just looked up our walkscore.  It's 0.  Also for fun, I looked up my last apartment in Chicago, it was 92.  Bit of a lifestyle adjustment for me :)

    Ditto. I used to live in Aurora/Naperville area right off 59.  It was easier for me to walk to the store or restaurant than drive there in the 59 mess.
    It's totally different now. There's a diverging diamond right at 88 which has made a huge difference in congestion. Unless you get stuck behind the car that doesn't know where they're going. Ha!  But it's MUCH better than it used to be. 

    Finally!  The last time we were up there they were almost done with the construction for it. That traffic was torture.

    It's things like that where we visit friends up there for 1 weekend and remind ourselves of why we moved 2 hours away from the city after college. Occasionally we talk about moving back, then we go there and sit in traffic.  Nope.  Never mind. 

    TTC since 1/13  DX:PCOS 5/13 (long, anovulatory cycles)
    Clomid 50mg 9/13 = BFP! EDD 6/7/14 M/C 5w6d Found 11/4/13
    1/14 PCOS / Gluten Free Diet to hopefully regulate my system. 
    Chemical Pregnancy 03/14
    Surprise BFP 6/14, Beta #1: 126 Beta #2: 340  Stick baby, stick! EDD 2/17/15
    Riley Elaine born 2/16/15

    TTC 2.0   6/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 9/15 
    Chemical Pregnancy 6/16
    BFP 9/16  EDD 6/3/17
    Beta #1: 145 Beta #2: 376 Beta #3: 2,225 Beta #4: 4,548
    www.5yearstonever.blogspot.com 
                        Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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