Health Insurance / Employer provided question

brij2006 · October 2016

So we're contemplating having me come home after #2 is born. However, I have my current health insurance through my employer. My deductible and max OOP is significantly less than H's plan, so my hope is to have this baby on my current plan.

Does anyone know, if I give notice to my employer before I have baby, do they have to continue my health insurance coverage for a certain period of time past my employment? My plan is to work up until the day I go into labor.
FWIW we're a company with 13 employees. So it's rather small and I know technically since they're under 50 employees that they don't have to abide by ACA rules.
But this isn't necessarily a question I'm willing to ask our HR person because it will out me about the pregnancy and the potential of me not coming back.

Just didn't know if any of you had any idea on how this works.

As much as I don't want to, if they technically can cancel my health insurance on my last date of employment, then I likely won't tell them I'm not coming back. I'll just come back after maternity leave and put in my notice then stay as long as it takes to train my replacement. That would be worst case scenario though. I would really rather not do that.

smetter04 · October 2016

At our company, the termination date of medical coverage based on employment termination date is outlined in our specific medical plan document. Are you able to request a copy of a plan document from your employer, or at least a medical plan summary that would have this info? You wouldn't have to out your pregnancy that way. Or can you call your insurance provider directly to see if they can point you in the right direction?

short+sassy · October 2016

brij2006 said:

So we're contemplating having me come home after #2 is born. However, I have my current health insurance through my employer. My deductible and max OOP is significantly less than H's plan, so my hope is to have this baby on my current plan.

Does anyone know, if I give notice to my employer before I have baby, do they have to continue my health insurance coverage for a certain period of time past my employment? My plan is to work up until the day I go into labor.
FWIW we're a company with 13 employees. So it's rather small and I know technically since they're under 50 employees that they don't have to abide by ACA rules.
But this isn't necessarily a question I'm willing to ask our HR person because it will out me about the pregnancy and the potential of me not coming back.

Just didn't know if any of you had any idea on how this works.

As much as I don't want to, if they technically can cancel my health insurance on my last date of employment, then I likely won't tell them I'm not coming back. I'll just come back after maternity leave and put in my notice then stay as long as it takes to train my replacement. That would be worst case scenario though. I would really rather not do that.

Different situation, but every time I have been laid off, my last day on the health insurance was my last day of employment.

My guess would be that is what would happen to you also. ACA might make it a different situation but, if they don't have to abide by those rules anyway, I think you would be at their mercy if they chose to let you stay on their health insurance or not.

Other PPs may have more experience with this and I'll be curious to see what other people think.

I personally would probably just give my notice after my maternity leave, to be on the safe side.

brij2006 · October 2016

short+sassy said:

brij2006 said:

So we're contemplating having me come home after #2 is born. However, I have my current health insurance through my employer. My deductible and max OOP is significantly less than H's plan, so my hope is to have this baby on my current plan.

Does anyone know, if I give notice to my employer before I have baby, do they have to continue my health insurance coverage for a certain period of time past my employment? My plan is to work up until the day I go into labor.
FWIW we're a company with 13 employees. So it's rather small and I know technically since they're under 50 employees that they don't have to abide by ACA rules.
But this isn't necessarily a question I'm willing to ask our HR person because it will out me about the pregnancy and the potential of me not coming back.

Just didn't know if any of you had any idea on how this works.

As much as I don't want to, if they technically can cancel my health insurance on my last date of employment, then I likely won't tell them I'm not coming back. I'll just come back after maternity leave and put in my notice then stay as long as it takes to train my replacement. That would be worst case scenario though. I would really rather not do that.

Different situation, but every time I have been laid off, my last day on the health insurance was my last day of employment.
My guess would be that is what would happen to you also. ACA might make it a different situation but, if they don't have to abide by those rules anyway, I think you would be at their mercy if they chose to let you stay on their health insurance or not.
Other PPs may have more experience with this and I'll be curious to see what other people think.
I personally would probably just give my notice after my maternity leave, to be on the safe side.

This is the part that concerns me. The boss' son is now one of the 3 partners and he's pretty much out for blood and saving a dime in every way possible, even at the risk of losing employees. So I know that if it's solely his choice on how this goes down, my insurance will be terminated on my last date of employment.

Ugh, I never wanted to be one of those women who quits while on her maternity leave. It's just not fair to my co-workers and if I were the owner of a company I wouldn't want this done to me. So I try to treat others how I would want to be treated. But in this case it's a 50/50 shot that my insurance will be cancelled the day I deliver baby. That would be a very bad thing.

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

@brij2006 do you know if you have the option to purchase through Cobra after resigning? H did after he left his last job, but it could be state by state and he was in pre-ACA MA, which tended to be kind of a special snowflake about health care. It might be too expensive to bother with, but it could also be an option.

brij2006 · October 2016

@Xstatic3333 I'm honestly not sure.
I do know that with ACA since there are no longer preexisting conditions, you can purchase a plan due to loss of job.
So I was thinking that worst case scenario I could get a plan from my last date of employment (likely June) until H's open enrollment on his plan in October. We would have to pay out of pocket for it, but I could probably get a plan with an insanely low deductible and max OOP which would work perfectly for labor and delivery.

kmurphy2131 · October 2016

In my experience, when I left a job they told me that I had insurance coverage until the last day of that month. I got a notice from my insurance company two weeks into the next month, that I actually lost my insurance the last day at that job...luckily I hadn't used insurance.

When H left teaching, we got an extra two months of insurance coverage because of the way that we paid the premiums we had already paid for those two months.

When H left his first railroad job, our insurance was terminated his last day at the job.

So I'm thinking its typically your last day at the job, but somewhat based on how you pay your premium.

It sucks, but you will probably be safest to not give your notice until you have had the baby. I know you want to do the right thing and give me notice, but businesses just often don't work that way. I know that when I just gave my notice to my job I wish I had given more notice, but I had to protect myself first (aka be 100% positive that the new offer was sound) even though it would have helped my employer.

LillibetteV · October 2016

brij2006 said:

short+sassy said:

brij2006 said:

So we're contemplating having me come home after #2 is born. However, I have my current health insurance through my employer. My deductible and max OOP is significantly less than H's plan, so my hope is to have this baby on my current plan.

Does anyone know, if I give notice to my employer before I have baby, do they have to continue my health insurance coverage for a certain period of time past my employment? My plan is to work up until the day I go into labor.
FWIW we're a company with 13 employees. So it's rather small and I know technically since they're under 50 employees that they don't have to abide by ACA rules.
But this isn't necessarily a question I'm willing to ask our HR person because it will out me about the pregnancy and the potential of me not coming back.

Just didn't know if any of you had any idea on how this works.

As much as I don't want to, if they technically can cancel my health insurance on my last date of employment, then I likely won't tell them I'm not coming back. I'll just come back after maternity leave and put in my notice then stay as long as it takes to train my replacement. That would be worst case scenario though. I would really rather not do that.

Different situation, but every time I have been laid off, my last day on the health insurance was my last day of employment.
My guess would be that is what would happen to you also. ACA might make it a different situation but, if they don't have to abide by those rules anyway, I think you would be at their mercy if they chose to let you stay on their health insurance or not.
Other PPs may have more experience with this and I'll be curious to see what other people think.
I personally would probably just give my notice after my maternity leave, to be on the safe side.

This is the part that concerns me. The boss' son is now one of the 3 partners and he's pretty much out for blood and saving a dime in every way possible, even at the risk of losing employees. So I know that if it's solely his choice on how this goes down, my insurance will be terminated on my last date of employment.

Ugh, I never wanted to be one of those women who quits while on her maternity leave. It's just not fair to my co-workers and if I were the owner of a company I wouldn't want this done to me. So I try to treat others how I would want to be treated. But in this case it's a 50/50 shot that my insurance will be cancelled the day I deliver baby. That would be a very bad thing.

But if you were the owner of a company would you cancel a pregnant woman's insurance on her because she didn't intend to come back? Or would you let her ride it out? If he's that ruthless screw him and take care of you.

short+sassy · October 2016

brij2006 said:

@Xstatic3333 I'm honestly not sure.
I do know that with ACA since there are no longer preexisting conditions, you can purchase a plan due to loss of job.
So I was thinking that worst case scenario I could get a plan from my last date of employment (likely June) until H's open enrollment on his plan in October. We would have to pay out of pocket for it, but I could probably get a plan with an insanely low deductible and max OOP which would work perfectly for labor and delivery.

You should be able to hop on COBRA, but that's usually insanely expensive because you'd be paying the full premium.

Once you don't have insurance with your company, you can be added to your H's medical plan. You do not have to wait for open enrollment because that is a qualified "change of circumstance" (or whatever HR folks call that). If he has a choice of plans, he might be able to change that also because the baby is another qualifying "change of circumstance".

If you haven't already, check out what is available in your state's healthcare marketplace. You might be horrified at how much a plan is for a low deductible/OOP max., even with a subsidy.

I was recently looking, because I am worried about the longevity of my job, and those "better" plans were about $2K/month. Even with the $750ish/month subsidy I qualified for, that still would have been $1200/month out of pocket. Just for the premiums. Obviously your plans and circumstances will be different than mine, I do live in a state that for years has ranked in the bottom 5 for health and health care affordability. But still. Don't assume the health marketplace is anything pretty until you have taken a look.

As an aside, the plan I would go with if it came to that, would be for just me and my H. With my subsidy, it would be about $50/month. $6700 deductible PER PERSON. After the deductible, they cover 60%. Sixty Percent, that's it. With an OOP Max. of $14K (total, not per person). Including the government's portion...it's $750/month. For the crappiest medical plan I have ever seen that would only ever be used in a major, catastrophic incident. It is insane.

brij2006 · October 2016

LillibetteV said:

brij2006 said:

short+sassy said:

brij2006 said:

So we're contemplating having me come home after #2 is born. However, I have my current health insurance through my employer. My deductible and max OOP is significantly less than H's plan, so my hope is to have this baby on my current plan.

Does anyone know, if I give notice to my employer before I have baby, do they have to continue my health insurance coverage for a certain period of time past my employment? My plan is to work up until the day I go into labor.
FWIW we're a company with 13 employees. So it's rather small and I know technically since they're under 50 employees that they don't have to abide by ACA rules.
But this isn't necessarily a question I'm willing to ask our HR person because it will out me about the pregnancy and the potential of me not coming back.

Just didn't know if any of you had any idea on how this works.

As much as I don't want to, if they technically can cancel my health insurance on my last date of employment, then I likely won't tell them I'm not coming back. I'll just come back after maternity leave and put in my notice then stay as long as it takes to train my replacement. That would be worst case scenario though. I would really rather not do that.

Different situation, but every time I have been laid off, my last day on the health insurance was my last day of employment.
My guess would be that is what would happen to you also. ACA might make it a different situation but, if they don't have to abide by those rules anyway, I think you would be at their mercy if they chose to let you stay on their health insurance or not.
Other PPs may have more experience with this and I'll be curious to see what other people think.
I personally would probably just give my notice after my maternity leave, to be on the safe side.

This is the part that concerns me. The boss' son is now one of the 3 partners and he's pretty much out for blood and saving a dime in every way possible, even at the risk of losing employees. So I know that if it's solely his choice on how this goes down, my insurance will be terminated on my last date of employment.

Ugh, I never wanted to be one of those women who quits while on her maternity leave. It's just not fair to my co-workers and if I were the owner of a company I wouldn't want this done to me. So I try to treat others how I would want to be treated. But in this case it's a 50/50 shot that my insurance will be cancelled the day I deliver baby. That would be a very bad thing.

But if you were the owner of a company would you cancel a pregnant woman's insurance on her because she didn't intend to come back? Or would you let her ride it out? If he's that ruthless screw him and take care of you.

Yeah, I definitely would not pull that.
He pretty much pushed DD off our group plan in March. They switched us to a different plan because it saved 5%. In the meantime DD's insurance went up 26%. I pay for that out of pocket, not even deducted from my paycheck because they won't offer that service. I went in to explain to him that hers went up and that I thought this was supposed to save 5% on our premiums. It saved THEM 5% on paying our premiums. Then he told me that I do have the option to get DD her own insurance if I don't like it. I went back and cried at my desk because they've always been a very family oriented company and watch out for their employees, until he became a partner.
So yeah, after that little stunt I honestly don't think they'll be nice and keep me on their plan. I am more than happy to offer to pay the premium for the remainder of the month of June and then just get onto H's policy due to job loss. But getting onto H's plan and having a pregnancy on it means an even larger maxOOP and very limited coverage. Then changing plans on the day our child is born. That is just asking for a bunch of grey areas.

Ugh, I really really don't want to have to lie this entire pregnancy and act like I'm coming back. This is the huge negative to a small town. It's going to have to be a secret to everyone otherwise word would get around and back to my bosses. I'll have to figure out how to tell our daycare provider (she goes to church with my boss) since otherwise I would have to pay to keep DD's spot while I'm on leave and she would be holding a spot for baby as well.

LillibetteV · October 2016

short+sassy said:

brij2006 said:

@Xstatic3333 I'm honestly not sure.
I do know that with ACA since there are no longer preexisting conditions, you can purchase a plan due to loss of job.
So I was thinking that worst case scenario I could get a plan from my last date of employment (likely June) until H's open enrollment on his plan in October. We would have to pay out of pocket for it, but I could probably get a plan with an insanely low deductible and max OOP which would work perfectly for labor and delivery.

You should be able to hop on COBRA, but that's usually insanely expensive because you'd be paying the full premium.
Once you don't have insurance with your company, you can be added to your H's medical plan. You do not have to wait for open enrollment because that is a qualified "change of circumstance" (or whatever HR folks call that). If he has a choice of plans, he might be able to change that also because the baby is another qualifying "change of circumstance".
If you haven't already, check out what is available in your state's healthcare marketplace. You might be horrified at how much a plan is for a low deductible/OOP max., even with a subsidy.
I was recently looking, because I am worried about the longevity of my job, and those "better" plans were about $2K/month. Even with the $750ish/month subsidy I qualified for, that still would have been $1200/month out of pocket. Just for the premiums. Obviously your plans and circumstances will be different than mine, I do live in a state that for years has ranked in the bottom 5 for health and health care affordability. But still. Don't assume the health marketplace is anything pretty until you have taken a look.
As an aside, the plan I would go with if it came to that, would be for just me and my H. With my subsidy, it would be about $50/month. $6700 deductible PER PERSON. After the deductible, they cover 60%. Sixty Percent, that's it. With an OOP Max. of $14K (total, not per person). Including the government's portion...it's $750/month. For the crappiest medical plan I have ever seen that would only ever be used in a major, catastrophic incident. It is insane.

Regarding the bolded - my experience in Massachusetts (which is awesome for health insurance compared to the rest of the country) was that the qualifying event only allowed me to be added to my husband's plan (although that was a fight because the state government's HR people are a special level of stupid and tried to say that since I voluntarily quit my job my loss of insurance wasn't "involuntary" and therefor qualifying. That's not how it works and I had to literally show them the regulations before they would get it fixed). We were not eligible to change plans until open enrollment, we could just add to the existing one.

smetter04 · October 2016

Does your H's insurance have an open enrollment coming up? Earlier this year, when we were planning on starting TTC this September and planning on me staying at home, we were considering putting me on H's insurance during open enrollment this year so that I would already be on his plan when baby came and I left my job/lost insurance.

Would this be an option for you guys? I know the premiums for an employee + spouse premium on your H's insurance would be higher than paying for you separately, it may be worth it for the peace of mind.

LillibetteV · October 2016

@brij2006 honestly if my boss was that much of a jerk I would lie and not feel bad about it. My last law firm required women who didn't return from maternity leave for at least 6 months to repay all of their health and short term disability benefits. It was so cheap of them. We were TTC and I had every intention of going back for the 6 months and then rage quitting on the last day. Thankfully I found a much better job before that needed to happen

kmurphy2131 · October 2016

brij2006 said:

LillibetteV said:

brij2006 said:

short+sassy said:

brij2006 said:

So we're contemplating having me come home after #2 is born. However, I have my current health insurance through my employer. My deductible and max OOP is significantly less than H's plan, so my hope is to have this baby on my current plan.

Does anyone know, if I give notice to my employer before I have baby, do they have to continue my health insurance coverage for a certain period of time past my employment? My plan is to work up until the day I go into labor.
FWIW we're a company with 13 employees. So it's rather small and I know technically since they're under 50 employees that they don't have to abide by ACA rules.
But this isn't necessarily a question I'm willing to ask our HR person because it will out me about the pregnancy and the potential of me not coming back.

Just didn't know if any of you had any idea on how this works.

As much as I don't want to, if they technically can cancel my health insurance on my last date of employment, then I likely won't tell them I'm not coming back. I'll just come back after maternity leave and put in my notice then stay as long as it takes to train my replacement. That would be worst case scenario though. I would really rather not do that.

Different situation, but every time I have been laid off, my last day on the health insurance was my last day of employment.
My guess would be that is what would happen to you also. ACA might make it a different situation but, if they don't have to abide by those rules anyway, I think you would be at their mercy if they chose to let you stay on their health insurance or not.
Other PPs may have more experience with this and I'll be curious to see what other people think.
I personally would probably just give my notice after my maternity leave, to be on the safe side.

This is the part that concerns me. The boss' son is now one of the 3 partners and he's pretty much out for blood and saving a dime in every way possible, even at the risk of losing employees. So I know that if it's solely his choice on how this goes down, my insurance will be terminated on my last date of employment.

Ugh, I never wanted to be one of those women who quits while on her maternity leave. It's just not fair to my co-workers and if I were the owner of a company I wouldn't want this done to me. So I try to treat others how I would want to be treated. But in this case it's a 50/50 shot that my insurance will be cancelled the day I deliver baby. That would be a very bad thing.

But if you were the owner of a company would you cancel a pregnant woman's insurance on her because she didn't intend to come back? Or would you let her ride it out? If he's that ruthless screw him and take care of you.

Yeah, I definitely would not pull that.
He pretty much pushed DD off our group plan in March. They switched us to a different plan because it saved 5%. In the meantime DD's insurance went up 26%. I pay for that out of pocket, not even deducted from my paycheck because they won't offer that service. I went in to explain to him that hers went up and that I thought this was supposed to save 5% on our premiums. It saved THEM 5% on paying our premiums. Then he told me that I do have the option to get DD her own insurance if I don't like it. I went back and cried at my desk because they've always been a very family oriented company and watch out for their employees, until he became a partner.
So yeah, after that little stunt I honestly don't think they'll be nice and keep me on their plan. I am more than happy to offer to pay the premium for the remainder of the month of June and then just get onto H's policy due to job loss. But getting onto H's plan and having a pregnancy on it means an even larger maxOOP and very limited coverage. Then changing plans on the day our child is born. That is just asking for a bunch of grey areas.

Ugh, I really really don't want to have to lie this entire pregnancy and act like I'm coming back. This is the huge negative to a small town. It's going to have to be a secret to everyone otherwise word would get around and back to my bosses. I'll have to figure out how to tell our daycare provider (she goes to church with my boss) since otherwise I would have to pay to keep DD's spot while I'm on leave and she would be holding a spot for baby as well.

Hopefully you could trust the daycare provider, but if not, what is the cost to keep your daughters spot compared to what it would cost you if you lost your insurance while you were in the hospital? I'm guessing it's a lot cheaper to pay for daycare (not that daycare is cheap, but a hospital stay could be thousands upon thousands). If you do have to pay for her daycare spot for a couple weeks, could you take advantage of that and send her for a few days to get some one on one time with the new baby?

brij2006 · October 2016

@smetter04 His open enrollment was just in September for an October 1st start date. So it's too late to get on his and we didn't even know we were pregnant then.

@LillibetteV That's a good point. I might need to constantly remind myself of that and stick with the plan to not tell them. I really don't want to get screwed over at the end of this.

brij2006 · October 2016

@kmurphy2131 That's a good idea. I know that I have to give her 30 days notice and if I do not use the care for that 30 days I still have to pay full price for it.
For a maternity leave she allows you to pay half price each month to hold their spot. For baby would be a $350 non-refundable deposit to hold its spot.
That would be a good option to have DD go there a few days/week for maybe the first month or so.

AprilZ81 · October 2016

Leaving your job is a "life change" event that should qualify you to either move to your husband's plan (even outside of open enrollment) or purchase a new plan through the ACA.

When I was laid off last spring I was told that my insurance would be active until the end of the month, but I never used it to know if it was true or not.

julieanne912 · October 2016

So with both my job I just left, and the job before that, I was told I could keep the insurance plan through the end of the month of my last day. So my last day at my old job was 10/6, so I have insurance through the end of October. They deducted my entire monthly contribution from my last check (normally it's deducted evenly into each bi-weekly check).

Furthurmore, I was also told that when I left my last job before my previous one, I could retro-actively add Cobra up to a month after I was uninsured. So the last day I was insured was June 30th. If I got sick or had an accident on July 15th, I had up until July 31st to go back and pay for the Cobra plan to be covered. Thankfully I don't have to worry about that this time because my new employer starts the benefits the month after the hire date

kmurphy2131 · October 2016

julieanne912 said:

So with both my job I just left, and the job before that, I was told I could keep the insurance plan through the end of the month of my last day. So my last day at my old job was 10/6, so I have insurance through the end of October. They deducted my entire monthly contribution from my last check (normally it's deducted evenly into each bi-weekly check).

Furthurmore, I was also told that when I left my last job before my previous one, I could retro-actively add Cobra up to a month after I was uninsured. So the last day I was insured was June 30th. If I got sick or had an accident on July 15th, I had up until July 31st to go back and pay for the Cobra plan to be covered. Thankfully I don't have to worry about that this time because my new employer starts the benefits the month after the hire date

There is so little that is good about the health insurance world,but that COBRA option is amazing. When I turned 26 I lost my health insurance on 5/21 but couldn't get on at my work until 6/1 (and couldnt join 5/1 because i had insurance at the tme...) but luckily had that opportunity to add if there was an emergency. H and I went a little over a month without insurance last year too and we were so happy to know that we could get Cobra if there was an emergency.

blondie42107 · October 2016

They can't legally ask you if you will return to work after you have your baby. You may have your mind made up now but honestly when you look at the length of a pregnancy and time you take off after birth, you're looking at a lot of time. Personally, this guy sounds like a jerk so I would just want to pack up. ASAP but I would just keep an open mind until the time comes that you NEED to make that decision.

Either way, you don't owe them an answer until it's time for you to return. I know some women go into maternity leave knowing they are not coming back. Is that great for everyone else? Maybe not but some women don't really know what they want to do until after they have their baby.

short+sassy · October 2016

blondie42107 said:

They can't legally ask you if you will return to work after you have your baby. You may have your mind made up now but honestly when you look at the length of a pregnancy and time you take off after birth, you're looking at a lot of time. Personally, this guy sounds like a jerk so I would just want to pack up. ASAP but I would just keep an open mind until the time comes that you NEED to make that decision.

Either way, you don't owe them an answer until it's time for you to return. I know some women go into maternity leave knowing they are not coming back. Is that great for everyone else? Maybe not but some women don't really know what they want to do until after they have their baby.

Not that personal decisions like this should matter to other people, but I get in a small town where that makes it more difficult.

I've had a couple coworkers who fully intended to come back after their maternity leave, but then changed their mind and didn't. At least they told me in a friendly, just chit-chatting way they were coming back and I wasn't their supervisor or anything. Though now I'm wondering if it was all a charade, lol.

LillibetteV · October 2016

short+sassy said:

blondie42107 said:

They can't legally ask you if you will return to work after you have your baby. You may have your mind made up now but honestly when you look at the length of a pregnancy and time you take off after birth, you're looking at a lot of time. Personally, this guy sounds like a jerk so I would just want to pack up. ASAP but I would just keep an open mind until the time comes that you NEED to make that decision.

Either way, you don't owe them an answer until it's time for you to return. I know some women go into maternity leave knowing they are not coming back. Is that great for everyone else? Maybe not but some women don't really know what they want to do until after they have their baby.

Not that personal decisions like this should matter to other people, but I get in a small town where that makes it more difficult.
I've had a couple coworkers who fully intended to come back after their maternity leave, but then changed their mind and didn't. At least they told me in a friendly, just chit-chatting way they were coming back and I wasn't their supervisor or anything. Though now I'm wondering if it was all a charade, lol.

I had an employee once swear up and down she was coming back because she was so thankful we hired her even though she was pregnant. Her husband was a student and she was their only source of real income so I believed her. And then she had the baby and CRIED in my office because she felt so guilty for not coming back after we had treated her so well and gave her full maternity benefits even though we didn't legally have to. But she just couldn't do it. I still believe that she thought she would be coming back and then changed her mind after the baby arrived. It's such a life-altering experience that I don't think even a pregnant lady can comprehend it until the birth.

brij2006 · October 2016

LillibetteV said:

short+sassy said:

blondie42107 said:

They can't legally ask you if you will return to work after you have your baby. You may have your mind made up now but honestly when you look at the length of a pregnancy and time you take off after birth, you're looking at a lot of time. Personally, this guy sounds like a jerk so I would just want to pack up. ASAP but I would just keep an open mind until the time comes that you NEED to make that decision.

Either way, you don't owe them an answer until it's time for you to return. I know some women go into maternity leave knowing they are not coming back. Is that great for everyone else? Maybe not but some women don't really know what they want to do until after they have their baby.

Not that personal decisions like this should matter to other people, but I get in a small town where that makes it more difficult.
I've had a couple coworkers who fully intended to come back after their maternity leave, but then changed their mind and didn't. At least they told me in a friendly, just chit-chatting way they were coming back and I wasn't their supervisor or anything. Though now I'm wondering if it was all a charade, lol.

I had an employee once swear up and down she was coming back because she was so thankful we hired her even though she was pregnant. Her husband was a student and she was their only source of real income so I believed her. And then she had the baby and CRIED in my office because she felt so guilty for not coming back after we had treated her so well and gave her full maternity benefits even though we didn't legally have to. But she just couldn't do it. I still believe that she thought she would be coming back and then changed her mind after the baby arrived. It's such a life-altering experience that I don't think even a pregnant lady can comprehend it until the birth.

This is entirely the truth. I had zero intentions of ever being a SAHM. I'm still debating on it and am not 100% sure it's the best choice for me. But missing that first year with DD killed me, and I still remember it all too well.
I'm a workhorse and love working in a field that challenges me. My job does do that majority of the time and I am having a hard time thinking about leaving my clients and the relationships I've created through them. But having a child does change you. Even when I was pregnant with DD I never had any intentions of staying home. But after having those 3 months home with her, I knew being at work while my child was at daycare just wasn't for me.
In the meantime I've pretty much lied to everyone and said I'm a better mom because I work. Yeah, I'm not at all, but it's what I have to tell myself and others for now.

The way I'm looking at it right now is that if I hate it I can always get back into the workforce. My resume is very marketable and because of the relationships I've created over the past 8 years in my field, I could easily get the word out and find some options.
So it's possible that I'll stay home for the first year of #2's life and then go back to work. Or I'll be home for 5 years. No clue yet. We've decided that I'll just take it one day at a time.

brij2006 · October 2016

short+sassy said:

blondie42107 said:

They can't legally ask you if you will return to work after you have your baby. You may have your mind made up now but honestly when you look at the length of a pregnancy and time you take off after birth, you're looking at a lot of time. Personally, this guy sounds like a jerk so I would just want to pack up. ASAP but I would just keep an open mind until the time comes that you NEED to make that decision.

Either way, you don't owe them an answer until it's time for you to return. I know some women go into maternity leave knowing they are not coming back. Is that great for everyone else? Maybe not but some women don't really know what they want to do until after they have their baby.

Not that personal decisions like this should matter to other people, but I get in a small town where that makes it more difficult.
I've had a couple coworkers who fully intended to come back after their maternity leave, but then changed their mind and didn't. At least they told me in a friendly, just chit-chatting way they were coming back and I wasn't their supervisor or anything. Though now I'm wondering if it was all a charade, lol.

Nail on the head.

This decisions means keeping it a secret even from my parents. That's why I would rather not linger on and have my employer think I'm coming back, but it's really the only way to protect myself.

Oh well, it's either I let them know, set things up, and take the risk. Or I keep it hush hush, come back, and act like H and I have decided that me coming home is the best for our family and put in my notice.

I'm still going to try and discuss going to part time after #2 is born, but my position really isn't a part time position and they made it clear when I asked to go down to 4 days/week back in April that I would have to step down from my position and take a significant pay cut. So if that's the same discussion this time then I'll tell them I'll stay full time, but will give my notice after my leave is up.

cbee817 · October 2016

@brij2006 - you are blessed that you have the option. I make 2x what DH does (and he was laid off 3 times between 2011 and 2014 with his old school district) so if anyone was going to stay home, it would have been him. By the 3rd layoff, we were very much considering it because it was so heartbreaking for him as an educator that actually cared about his students but didn't have the seniority like others did. His new school district has been a breath of fresh air and everyone can see the difference in him. I was just glad we had the stability of my job during that time. We are now hoping that I can move to part time in about 7 years and be more available for our girls as they become teenagers.
I'm sure whatever decision you and your family choose, everyone will benefit from it.

brij2006 · October 2016

@cbee817 I remind myself often how blessed I am to have the job I do have and the contacts I've created through it. We're very fortunate. Especially in a smaller town where options are pretty limited.

Our hard part is that if we solely look at the financials it doesn't make sense for me to come home. I don't make an insane amount of money, but for where we live I make a very good living. Even after paying for daycare for 2, health insurance, and retirement, I would still net $1,500/month. That makes a huge difference in our budget and makes our world go round. H's base income is the same as mine, but he has overtime that bumps him up about $20k/year. 1 year without that and I would most definitely have to go back to work. So me staying home is a big risk for us. I really don't know if I could go back into the workforce and make what I currently do. So that's a legit concern of mine, but at this point we keep praying on it and are trying to put faith in the fact that we budget and have cut our expenses how we have, for a reason. So that something like this is an option for us.

kmurphy2131 · October 2016

@brij2006 I think that based on what you are saying, while you are really leaning towards not returning to work, I don't think you are being dishonest by saying that you are going back. It seems like there is a little part of you that still has doubt, and maybe it is a decision best made/confirmed once you are on maternity leave anyway.

brij2006 · October 2016

@kmurphy2131 You are 100% correct.
It's very possible I'm home those 3 months this time and want to pull my hair out. I mean I will have a toddler in the terrible 2's at that time. So yeah.

cupcait927 · October 2016

Just a quick note - I wouldn't count on COBRA as an option. Employers with less than 20 employees are not required to offer COBRA. They can offer it but from what you've said about your employer, they most likely don't give termed employees the option.

jtmh2012 · October 2016

I hate to say, we took the "easy" route out. Not necessarily the cheapest. We just had myself and my wife on my employeer's plan and now my son is on there too.

We could have saved a few dollars putting her on her plan, but it just made things more difficult to deal with, plus my plans were better plans.

It also meant that when the baby came, we didn't have to worry about who was getting covered where and even with her planning to go back, it was better for her to quit and re-hire than to take a leave of absence (retail, quotas, etc). The peace of mind and not having to worry about it during that time was worth more.

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