Money Matters
csuave
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
regifting
What are your thoughts on regifting? Do you do it? Has someone done it to you?
Re: regifting
I've regifted a couple of random things for White Elephant exchanges that are meant to be a bit on the silly/tacky side as well. But I don't make it a regular habit and I don't think I'd ever regift something for say a wedding or baby shower or a Christmas gift for a friend or family member.
I also have no problem receiving used gifts. My husband bought me a tablet for Christmas and he knows the functionality I wanted and got a great deal on a refurbished model (it looks pristine). Honestly if I would buy it used for myself why would I expect someone else to pay full price?
I'm not so much of a fan of regifting when it is a person giving a gift for a gift giving occasion and trying to pass it off as something they thoughtfully picked out for the giftee...but even then I'm not overly critical of it.
Things I have regifted in the past:
-BIL gave me a movie theater gift card for my birthday the other year....for a movie theater that is not in my region. Best friend in another state has this theater so I told her on the phone that a gift card was coming her way courtesy of BIL's good intentions and that I hoped she could use it so it wouldn't go to waste.
-H and I had coasters coming out of our ears after we got married. There was one set I couldn't return to a store (I expect they came from a craft fair) so I took them to a Christmas party that Dec to be used in a bring a $10 gift for a gift exchange game
-Someone gave me a griddle at a wedding shower that I didn't have a gift receipt for and didn't intend to use so it just got put in a kitchen cabinet. Half a year later FIL was saying he could use a griddle. I was like we have one we haven't used yet, it is yours if you want it.
-We have used good quality wine and chocolates received as gifts to give to other people as hostess gifts
-I had gotten a good quality rice steamer for free by collecting points...but I didn't need a rice steamer so I never used it. Fast forward to a wedding shower my friend was throwing for her future DIL. I was invited but didn't want to attend so I declined. Normally I wouldn't send a gift in this situation but I noticed they had a rice steamer on their registry so I decided to send the one I had.
Instances where I know I was given a regift:
-My aunt was in the services business before she retired and sometimes instead or or in addition to an extra cash tip she would get little gifts like chocolates, hand towels, house decor. She would give the things she thought I might like to me.
-H and I got a wedding gift from a friend that consisted of cash, a blanket and an empty beer growler with a certificate for a fill. The certificate had an older issue date on it so we know friend didn't buy it specifically for our wedding gift. He doesn't drink beer but H and I enthusiastically do so I think he included it in our gift because he thought H and I would enjoy it, which I thought was nice. The blanket was kind of random but contributed to this gift being the one we got that was kind of "off beat" and that made it fun and memorable.
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-christmas-candle/3435359?snl=1
I knew they liked wine, wasn't sure about Malbec so I don't know if that counts as knowing that they would appreciate it. But now I feel to guilty to try and regift anything to them again (which would only be as a hostess occasion since we don't exchange gifts otherwise).
Probably because it means holding on to something for an indefinite period of time while I try to find the "right" person to regift it to. I'd rather just unload it quickly in some other way.
To me, regifting is very very different from offering something at random to a friend or family member in a "We don't need this and thought you'd like it" kind of situation versus a gift-giving occasion...or passing along a giftcard you can't/won't use to someone who can.
My first Christmas with my ILs my MIL's sister sent gifts to their house for us. For me she bought a necklace. As I was opening it MIL was like she wasn't sure what you like or what to get you. You like jewelry, right? Well....I actually don't like jewelry and never wear it so I just pretended like I didn't hear MIL and didn't answer her question. It was so awkward. It would have been much easier for me to be like yeah, sure. But I hate lying! I need to get over it so I quit being so awkward when receiving gifts.
Agreed 100%. I feel like regifting is a little deceptive - the recipient thinks you spent time/money/energy picking out something just for them, and really you are unloading something you don't care about. Totally different than if you know your friend is into whatever gift you received and you tell them that you got something you can't use, so do they want it?
I have never regifted anything. When we receive food, etc. we can't use then one of us brings it to the office or we donate it to a food bank. When we receive alcohol we don't drink one of us adds it to our firm's stash - both offices go through a lot of alcohol so that would never be noticed.
For physical items I donate them if there are no friends/family who want what we received. And actually, I am weird in that I won't donate gifts in the same city as the person who gave me the gift just in case they see it. My mom does the same thing - they live in a smallish town, with one salvation army, so when she donates gifts she brings them to Birmingham.
This reminds me of something kind of funny. One of the partners my H works for actually installed a small catering kitchen in his house. Basically they took the mudroom between garage and kitchen and converted it to a U-shaped kitchen with warming drawers, a big sink, stainless countertops, etc. I thought it was crazy until I attended an event there with 50+ people. As always, people congregated in the main kitchen, but the caterers had their own space where they could work without being disrupted. It worked so well H and I have jokingly said that we need to do this in our forever house.