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Cameron's first day at daycare
was NOT a good experiance.
I wasn't sure if I was going to share the story so soon because honestly I'm still exhausted from that day but I know there's so many others that are going to put their babies into daycare soon that I wanted to say do not, do not take for granted that people in daycare automatically know what to/not do w/infants as young as 2 months. I went over every little thing that we thought they wouldn't know (his moods, what he likes, how much he eats) but overlooked & assumed that they should know other do/dont's.
After we dropped C off P said he would go during lunch (I pump during lunch so I couldn't go) just to see how he was adjusting. As I was getting ready to come back from lunch (P still hadn't called me to let me know how it went) I texted him. About a second later he called & said he lost track of time. When he arrived C was asleep so he talked to the staff (consisiting of 2 women in the infant room). He then said,
"yeah when I walked in C was asleep on his stomach in the crib. I told (we'll call her woman 1) that we dont' do that. That he never sleeps on his stomach.
Woman 1 then proceeded to tell P that she was a nurse & it's fine. SIDS can happen anytime & when he (P) was younger he slept on his stomach.
I love my husband but he's well a man. He listened to what she said & thought well you know she's a nurse & believed since she was working in daycare she should know what she's doing.
The moment he told me that C was asleep on his stomach I hung up the phone & called the center. I told the director asst (who answered) that my husband saw him sleeping on his stomach. She said he would go check/move him immediatly.
I can't even describe the feeling that overcame me. I was hyperventilating at my desk. I couldn't even talk.
I left work to go take him out. When I got there I saw Woman 1 was feeding him in the rocking chair & the director saw that I was upset & asked what was wrong. I again told her what happened & she went on & on how that was against procedure & she wasn't sure how this happend but apologized for what I went through & offered her personal number to contact her if I need to talk later that night.
I went into the room to get C & woman 1 was beyond defensive. She tried to tell me that I told her that was ok. That earlier that morning I said if he was asleep to let him sleep. I said NO. I clearly said that if he was asleep & it was time for him to EAT let him eat. Disgusting. The whole time she's standing there trying to convince me that I TOLD her to do this. She went on to say that he was IN HIS CRIB doing "tummy time" & that's how he fell asleep. At this point the director was in the room w/us & I asked is that procedure? tummy time in the crib on a soft mattress? She said no. So then Woman 1 said "ok well next time when I see him asleep i'm flip him over. but i was changing a diaper & I couldn't get to him right away. so he would have to wait a min or two."
again I was enraged.
I told her NO. If she saw my child or any other child falling asleep knowing they weren't old enough to support their head whether in the crib or on the floor she needs to take immediate action. whether that be calling someone from another room or holding off on changing a diaper. The fact that she was so naiive about SIDS & Back is Best campaign was disgusting.
I couldn't believe that instead of apologizing or understanding what could have happend because she wants to stick to her "well back in my day" theory she wanted to tell me that I asked for this.
I drove straight home & just held C. It was the worst day of my life.
I called my aunt (I had already been talking to my other aunt since I started my drive to pick up C) but I was trying to contact my other aunt to tell her what happened. She didn't pick up but my uncle did. I'm really close to my uncle so I had no problem blurting out what just happened. We talked for a long time & at the end his advise was I should go back & talk to the director. He felt that if the director felt as strong as I did about what happened that said something about the center. So when Paul came home that night we made a huge list of questions. about the center (ones we already asked but I wanted to hear the answers again) training, woman 1 & her past experiance (she was an OB nurse) & so on.
So early the next morning we went into her office & started talking. During our meeting her mgr called & said that Woman 1 was to be pulled out of the infant room. She & the incident was going under investigation & she was not allowed in or near the infant room.
In knowing this I felt more at ease. The director gave me her mgrs personal number so I could talk about what happened & what I wanted done.
I honestly believe that God used us to help save other children that walk through those doors. Who knows how many other new parents she convinced that this was safe. Or how many parents don't have the chance to check up on their babies. I thank God for sending P to check on C at that exact moment & I thank him so much for watching over my baby & not letting the unthinkable happen.
C stayed the entire day (yesterday) w/woman 2. I felt so relieved that Woman 1 was taken out (not only for us but for everyone) & that immediate action was taken. We truly believe that he will recieve the best care now & that moving forward & learning from this experiance will only strengthen our family.
So please. when you leave your baby list everything you want/don't want to happen. don't take anything for granted. don't assume. even if it's w/a family member or friend. who cares if you sound like the crazy first time mama.
Re: Cameron's first day at daycare
Brandy,
Your post brought tears to my eyes! That whole experience must have been frightening for you. Kudos to you for having the courage to stand up for what is right especially with the fear we all have about sounding like "a crazy first time mama." Totally unrelated, but your post has inspired me to do something more about my recent fall as far as management is concerned. Thank you so much for taking the time to post this.
Oh gosh Brandy that's HORRIBLE! If you don't mind me asking, which day care center was this? I'm just interested in how they qualify these men/women to work in these centers. I would be very concerned with the credability of their training process. I am shocked that the Back is Best campaign isn't strongly pressed upon the workers.
Are there other local centers that you scouted as well?
Thank you ladies. It hasn't been an easy decision. I feel like others would expect me to pull him out of the center & go to another facility. But again with the strong support from the director & her manager I feel that it's best for us to stay. If we were to switch I think my paranoia would only grow. At least here w/Woman 2 she understands what we've been through & will/has been nothing short of wonderful. She recapped C day yesterday & was honestly just sincere. Then to add to that the director called me (around 3) before she left for the day. Just ot touch bases on how I was doing, C day & to let me know yet again I could call her anytime regardless if she's at home.
Tameka: It was horrible. I'm still in a haze today but I'm so glad it's going to help you. Give em hell!
Val: I'd rather not say the facility name. Only because she clearly went against their policy. She recieved training regarding preventation of SIDS & even she admitted that it "happens" but she as an individual didn't believe it. I know she didn't want to harm my baby & that's the real sad part. She honestly did believe she did. I hope she gets the help/training that she needs so when she's at home w/a friends baby or grandbaby she doesnt' make this mistake again.
No one can judge you for doing what's best for your family. Your intuition will tell you what to do. You are in contact with management, they are aware of your concerns, and are willing to take immediate action. You have also built a bridge of communication with them and that will serve you well as C continues his care there. No need to defend your decision. I'm sure C is proud of his mama
No one can judge you for doing what's best for your family. Your intuition will tell you what to do. You are in contact with management, they are aware of your concerns, and are willing to take immediate action. You have also built a bridge of communication with them and that will serve you well as C continues his care there. No need to defend your decision. I'm sure C is proud of his mama
I don't mean this to be corny at all but you are my hero brandi. that took a lot of guts and nerves and control. I would of been an hormonal wreck and probably slapped that woman. But that would of accomplished nothing. Instead you went in with your knowledge and educated questions and were truly heard.
I am so sorry you had to go thru this but at least someone got to this woman before it was too late.?
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Kat: I honestly don't know how I did it. I mean I couldn't breath much less talk before walking through those doors.
Kim: thank you.
Thank you for all your encouragement. I've felt like I failed C but now you're making me see what happend through a different light. thank you.
Good for you for speaking up. ?Not every parent would (and that's unfortunate).
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It also goes to be said that you shouldn't ever take for granted that ANYONE (including family) know what to do. ?I repeatedly saw my MIL putting Campbell to sleep on his tummy and NOT turning on the monitor when he was a baby. ?Needless to say, there is a reason she doesn't watch him as much as she would like. ?
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Wow, Brandi, your post scared the bejezuz out of me! I am so glad everything turned out well. I think it was destiny that made Paul show up when he did.
Thank you for sharing your story because you have made us all a little wiser and alert. I dread the day I will have to leave my baby in the hands of someone else.
thanks again girls! we're really happy w/the new staff.