May 2007 Weddings
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WWYD?

I have a reason for this question so please don't think I am being morbid.

If a family member died (for instance, if you had a younger sibling or a parent who unexpectedly passed) and another family member, for instance a living parent, offered to give you said deceased relative's car/truck, would you accept?

Re: WWYD?

  • Yes.  We are nearing this situation (and something I was going to confess), but ours is different.  If it wouldn't bring bad memories/pain every time you looked at it/used it, yes, I would accept.

    Don't take this the bad way, but what other use is there for it?

    IF there was something left behind (loan/debt/etc) that the car/truck could be sold and the money used for, I'd do that.

    IF you needed a vehicle and financially it is smarter for you to inherit one instead of buying one, then I'd do that.

    IF using the vehicle would be too painful, I'd find someone/somewhere to donate it to where it could be used and my deceased loved one would appreciate. (For example, Rawhide up here takes cars/boats, has the boys refurbish/fix up and sell; they use the money to fund the Rawhide program.)

  • We had a similar situation when my grandma passed away. My aunt (her daughter) didn't want to just sell her car to anyone so they insisted one of the grandkids take it. None of my other cousins wanted it because either they were too young to drive or already had a reliable car. I was the only one in a situation where my grandma's car would benefit me. So I accepted it.

    So I guess I would say if it's something that would benefit the person I would say they should accept unless it would just be too hard for that person to drive around in the deceased relative's car/truck.

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  • Ok, Long story short (and the reason for the question).  FIL and BIL shared a truck.  It's a nice truck, extended cab (four doors), 2008 model, paid off completely.  It has about 8000 miles, if that, on it.  We've had the truck since the accident because MIL had it with her to drive back the following day, but obviously things got a little rough and someone else drove us.

    MH needs a new truck.  We've been talking for awhile about buying one when the townhouse sells.  His has a lot of miles and has room for 2 people and that's about it.

    Last weekend, MIL offered the truck to MH.  At first he said no because he thought she should sell it but MIL said she will not do that and that FIL and BIL would want MH to have it.  MH said to give it to his other brother but MIL said no because of various reasons.  SO now MH is deciding if he should take it or not.

    Financially it would be a blessing - we wouldn't have to have a car payment for a very long time (basically until I needed a new car).  It is a little hard to see the truck in our driveway but it's also kind of comforting, if that makes sense.  MIL wants the truck to stay in the family and I don't blame her at all for that. 

  • Yikes... I thought something like that might be the situation when you asked, Mandy.

    It's tough and honestly, it needs to come down to if you &/or Rich can use the truck without it just driving a stake into your hearts when you use it.  IF, and really only if, you can, then I think you should accept it.

    If not, I think it's fair of Rich to tell his mom no.  Or see if she is AT ALL willing to sell it and you guys use the cash to get a new vehicle with that money - then technically you guys would have a huge financial blessing in memory of FIL and BIL without the physical pain of that specific truck.  Does that make any sense? (You'd have a truck that basically your FIL/BIL bought for you, but it wasn't THEIR truck so hopefully would be slightly less painful?)

  • I'm pretty certain she won't sell it.  We have both driven in over the past week (just to see) and, strangely enough, it didn't bother me to drive it (in fact, I felt kind of happy because I could smell them in the truck and it felt like they were there with me).  But I know it has to be harder for MH.  He's been talking more and more like he will take it but I just need to know that he will be ok if he does.

    I did tell him we could keep his old truck and this truck, then when he decided he really did want to buy a new truck, we could give this truck back to MIL and trade his old truck in. 

  • There is nothing wrong with accepting it...as long as he feels comfortable about it.  I am sure that your MIL would really appreciate him having it and that's why she is offering it to him. 
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