May 2007 Weddings
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Re: Confessions Post
I really have a problem with some people reproducing.
This is brought to you (again) by the fact that my nephew called me last night. (For those of you who don't know, my nephew got into some serious trouble & has been in a juvenile home for the past 4 years or so. He's recently been transferred into a rehab type home to slowly bring him "back into society" since the last place was far removed (basically juvy jail.))
This new home is about 5 miles from our house (yay!) and thankfully my mom went to the meetings when they set things up, so now we're on the "call/visitor" list (my sister screwed this up at the last place, so we couldn't call or visit.) He is allowed (1) 10-minute phone call each night. (The only people on the list are my parents, my sister, and us.)
He called my mom Monday (her birthday), me on Tuesday, my mom on Wednesday, and me last night. (I was surprised - Tuesday is my night. Otherwise he's supposed to call my mom or sister.) Meaning he hasn't talked to my sister is nearly a week.
He's been in this new home for nearly two weeks. Short of the initial meeting they had in early March, my sister and my mom haven't visited (it's "only 40 minutes", which is the line they give us for not driving down and visiting them.) So my nephew's been there two weeks without any visitors (we're going to see him this weekend; visitation is only on Saturday/Sunday and you have to call ahead 24 hours at least), where he basically gets to sit in his room with a radio.
MH looked at me last night when I was COMPLETELY going off about my sister and said "Yeah, I can't wait to see how E turns out." (E being my sister's 2 1/2 year old daughter.)
Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough for MH's family. I know that they are all thankful for what I have done (working with the attys and the company, taking care of the ME reports, the probate, the life insurance, etc) but I feel like I should do more. And then I look at some other members of the family and I realize that I'm doing a LOT more than they are and I wonder how they can even live with themselves knowing that they AREN'T helping (and in some instances are making it worse). I guess right now I just feel helpless.
And I also feel bad because when I think about what happened, I just want one of them to have survived because it was so hard losing both of them. And then when I think like that, I want my BIL to have been the one to make it - not because I didn't love my FIL (I really REALLY do love him) but because my BIL was SO young and I just wanted him to be able to have a full life.
AND last night MH and I were talking about wills (we need to update ours) and I made a comment about how when we have kids, I would want SIL to raise them and the whole time I was thinking that BIL (who died) would have been my first choice, but I will never tell MH that.
Also nephew-related, ... I can see the influence of my parents and his mom still in him and it scares me. Everyone says my father is the way he is and will never change (which I've said before DRIVES ME INSANE). But this is a 16-year old boy...he's impressionable. And I almost don't want my family or his mom to visit him because they're only going to push him to "toughen up" more... and follow in their (bankrupt, redneck, old-fashioned) footsteps.
I also seriously fear that he will... and will wind up in jail.
Theres a skywalk being built to connect our massive building with the one next door and i hate the thing. I think its a bad idea for several reasons but i know theres nothing i can do about it so i just deal with it.
Im at a crossroads with school and cant really figure out what is best for me. Picking my fieldwork for summer has become a major issue choosing between the mental health unit or children/family services. Ever since I visited the VA hospital which freaked me out with all of the lockdown and etc I dont know if i could handle the mental health unit.
All I've wanted to eat for dinner the past week is ice cream. But I know it's not best for the baby so I force myself to eat something healthy
Oh and I wish MH could pick up on hints a little better. Everynight I come home and tell him how my back and feet hurt hoping he'll offer a back rub or a foot massage. Instead he'll usually say "Yeah my back hurts too" JERK! He doesn't get it until I flat out ask/almost begging him to rub my back/feet a little.
Mandy's car/truck post reminded me:
I feel bad talking about this stuff, but Uncle is dividing up his asset and settling his will. (Uncle has terminal cancer and was given 2 months; thankfully he seems to be doing fairly well and we're glad it looks like he'll have longer than 2 months and doesn't seem to have that many bad days where he's in pain.)
MH's Uncle is working on his will (FIL being involved.) FIL knows MH's car is on it's last legs, but we're trying to hold off as long as possible to buy another car (pay off some debt first, get to a better place so we can afford a car payment, etc.)
FIL told MH 2 months ago that Uncle has willed his Blazer to MH. (Honestly, since this is Confessions, I got irritated when I heard that because it was always semi-joked that MH would get Uncle's restored classic car. MH honestly didn't expect that, but it irked me slightly like "All those years it's been said... and...nothing?" No biggy... it really wouldn't get much use by us anyway.) The Blazer is nice, been rebuilt, etc., and it was thoughtful of Uncle to will it to MH because eventually we need a new vehicle.
We were moving MH's Gma this past weekend and MIL says to her brother "By the way, I'm getting a new vehicle... Uncle is leaving his Blazer to me." I swear my jaw must've dropped. I was EXTREMELY IRRITATED by that (mostly at FIL - you don't tell someone you're inheriting something and then turn around and give it to your wife?!)
MIL later tells MH (I forgot) and MH says "Oh.. Dad said Uncle was willing that to me... he said not to buy a new car because Uncle said I was getting that. Guess that's changed." MIL says "No... Uncle is giving you his classic car. I saw the will and Uncle is going to leave me his Blazer."
It just irritates me that it's been discussed so much and so much misinformation has been passed around!
I just got a really rude phone call that i just have to vent or im going to go off. Nicks aunt the one who sent me a really awesome email a while back (being sarcastic of course) called me which i should have known was weird. She never calls me ever. She said im concerned because you seem sick a lot lately, are you sure you arent pregnant? Which btw you can clearly tell im sick i sound awful and everyone who has called me has been like wow you sound bad.
So i say no i have bronchitis etc etc. She goes well im sorry to harp on this but someone has to be the one to say it to you finally. If you guys arent pregnant maybe you just arent meant to be with each other? UMMMMM WHAT EXCUSE ME?!!? Who says that! I seriously said that and she said well my friend was trying to get pregnant for a while and couldnt and then finally realized she and her husband needed to divorce. So what all of the sudden not being able to get pregnant means that im with the wrong person?? Am i just overreacting or what cause im furious right now.
I think her insinuation of "If you're having a hard time getting pg, you should divorce him." is ridiculous and I'd be irritated by it (probably pissed, but no one has said anything to us and we're not TTC, so it's hard to gauge HOW irritated I'd be or if I'd be able to laugh it off somewhat.)
Yesterday I was feeling fatter than usual so I decided to wear my comfy pants, my comfy pants being pants that I wore when I was 20 pounds heavier. So there were definately comfy but I was hiking them up all day (I'm such a lady I know).
So anyways I was walking into my house at the end of the day and I had my hands full, I felt my pants start to slip and there was nothing I could do about it, they fell off. I am pretty sure I got them back up before I flashed any of my neighbors, but I can't be positive.
Moral of the story, no matter how "comfy" the pants may be, it's not worth it.
One word for you honey: belt. LOL
Another confession: we ate ice cream for dinner last night. LOL MH had a meeting with a new account and they sent home all this yummy stuff. SO FREAKING GOOD and I feel not one ounce guilty for eating some for dinner instead of chicken. LOL
Yeah thats an idea, I am most likely never going to wear the pants again though, imagine if if had happened at work?!
I know I've said this before but I have to say it again. I wish MH wasn't such a tight wad when it comes to money. There's such a thing as being financially responsible and I think MH is way beyond that and is an extreme penny pincher.
He actaully got upset that I spent $7 yesterday to buy a salad for lunch which lasts 2 days. I can't stand it! I know his concern about saving money because I'll be losing my job, and the economy, and the baby...etc. But I don't remember the last time I bought lunch at work and just wanted a damn salad! LOL! $7 is not going to break the bank!
My ex-FIL is bugging the crap out of MH and I. He went to jail a couple years ago for theft. He had just split from my crazy MIL and got on drugs broke into a few different stores and stole a total of $100 from all the stores. He has no family left expect one sister in Washington D.C. so he is very dependant on us for everything. He got out and stayed with us for a few days and then got a boarding house. The second week he is out he is arrested again for supposed theft at a doctors office. He got a bond but no one has any money to bond him. He keeps calling collect like 30 times a day and we keep telling him we have no money and we can't talk but once a week if that because we cannot afford the phone bill. He keeps saying "see what you can do or surely you have something you can sell". It's really frustrating because we feel bad for him but we can't change what he did or solve his problems. He was the only one that ever did anything for MH when they were growing up and my MIL treated him like total crap. I just wish he would quit calling so much. It's so bad we have to leave the phone unplugged.
My brother that works with me is really pissing me off again. He knows that the company is in trouble and yet does nothing, NOTHING, to try and help get us through it. We have no jobs lined up past next week and he won't go look for jobs or anything. It is really pissing me off because I don't have time and also being a woman the contractors around don't respond well to women salespeople. Besides, IT'S HIS JOB, why do I feel so bad for not having work and he can just go on his merry way doing nothing all day and still sleep at night. I'm constantly waking up in the middle of the night and thinking 24/7 about what I can do to save money and make money at the same time.
I am really concerned for my dad's health. He is really looking bad and everyone notices it. The stress is killing him and I am worried he is going to have a heart attack or something. He already has high blood pressure when things are stressful and now it's probably through the roof. I know he isn't sleeping well either. I wish I could take his pain and worry away.
I just ate a Baby Ruth (yes, after eating ice cream last night); it seems to have taken the insane pain in my forehead away (horrible headache that hit while discussing the paycheck difference!).
Oh, and I don't think I'm going to lift tonight with a nasty headache. LOL
Baby Ruths cure headaches? Why did I not know this sooner?!
It's in the fine print, Greys. JEEZ! LOL
Actually I didn't pack enough food for today, and I wanted something else but it was gone out of the candy store. No joke: my options were Skittles, Sour Skittles, Baby Ruth, popcorn.
You made the right choice!