Sex & Romance
music83lover2001
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Best lubricant for first time?
My soon-to-be husband and I are both virgins, so we don't have any experience in this department. I am interested in the KY Yours & Mine and KY Intrigue, but I am wondering if these would be good for our first time? Would they help or hinder? Also, if they are not a good idea, can you recommend a good "regular" lubricate?
Re: Best lubricant for first time?
My boyfriend and I just bought a bottle of Astroglide from walmart. It works really well.
Dont get anything fancy. Get plain KY lube. The "special" lubes can be very irritable if you arnt used to lube in General, which could ruin your first time if you both are itching or burning.
And FYI, the Ky yours and mine is a joke. We discussed it here a few weeks ago and nobody seemed to like it. Its a big waste of money!
Here is the thread..
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/12540506.aspx
Levi 4.21.10
I highly recommend System Jo Glide. It's a little on the more expensive side, but well worth it! And the small bottle lasts a long time.
http://www.systemjo.com/
As a pp said, buy a couple of different ones with different ingredients and try them out ahead of time to make sure you aren't allergic. He might want to try them too.
I like Astroglide. Works good, isn't fancy and doesn't irritate me at all (and I'm prone to yeast infections).
Why are you buying a lube? How do you know you even need it?
Are you going for teh buttsecks??
Erm, I don't know if I have any solid advice here. I'd say just go basic for now. I wouldn't worry about it or overthink it. You might not even need it, for all you know.
K-Y
I wouldn't worry about fancy lube. Do you know that you have lubrication problems? I mean, how far have you guys gone? ?
If you don't, then don't bother with lube - period.?
If you do, I like KY liquid?
I almost wasted good coffee!
We waited too and we got a few different kinds of lube as gifts at my lingerie shower. I wish I would have tried some before our wedding night to see how I would react to it. You might look into that, b/c lots of women are sensitive to certain kinds. I only found one kind that doesn't burn at all. It's called JO for Women, and we both love it. It lasts a long time and is really smooth and silky feeling. If you want something cheaper, most recomment Astroglide. I used it my wedding night and it burned, but not too bad. I'm really sensitive though. Most really like this kind.
I would stay away from gels/jellies. They are sticky/tacky and don't last as long. If you are thinking about using anything that is warming or tingling, try it ahead of time because you might not like it. I don't and they burn for me. Some of the posters suggested that you may not need lube, but for your first time I would definitely recommend it. Of course that's just my opinion though. We almost always use it...I like the way it feels and so does DH. Congrats on the upcoming wedding and sex!!!
Good for you for thinking ahead... you never know if you need it and it'd be nice to have on hand in case you do.
We like astroglide the best. It's basic, but lasts longer/works better than some of the others we've tried.
I agree with pp, go with something basic.
Well, it would be better safe than sorry. Come to think of it, KY sells a little sampler box. It has like 6 different styles of lubes and some are massage oil combos. What you would want to do is take a small dab and put it on (he should do the same) Do that right away so you know ahead of time!
You should just feel moist, no burning or itching. Now note, that some have a warm or cold sensation, which is normal. It might feel a little strange but shouldnt be painful or uncomfortable.
But personally, I'd safe the fancy lube for once you guys get the hang of things.
I dont think that you need to worry about buying lube for your first time, saliva is the best lube and best of all it's all natrual and free
But if you do decide to go with one, make sure yall try it before hand cause you dont want to have a bad reaction on your wedding night
P.S tough most have none, if you get some make sure there is no sugar product, especially the tastey ones.
You may not need it, especially if you "warm up" a bit first with lots of foreplay (kissing, touching, etc). KY is fine for a first time, and it works for most people. Personally, I find it a bit ... thicker and stickier feeling than I'd really like. We get this water based stuff that feels light and natural, and doesn't leave your hands all sticky. It's Kama Sutra brand "Love Liquid." It is a little more expensive than KY or Astroglide, and you do have to go to a specialty store (condom sense, condoms to go, etc etc) to get it, but it's sooooo worth it.
You may not need it at all, but it couldn't hurt to use it since it is your first time and you wont be used to the sensation. If you use something, don't douse yourselves with it. You don't need to be dripping with lube to be effective. In fact, that's just gross.
If you are using lube because you are worried about it hurting the first time I also like the liquid silk, it feels really natural and isn't sticky at all.
Good luck and Congrats!
You are so smart for asking this! I didn't even consider it for my wedding night, and after hours of trying we finally gave up around 5:00 in the morning then hit Walgreens the next day. I didn't have personal dryness issues at the time, and I don't now, but the first time can be very difficult and painful. We had to use it for the first couple months of our marriage, but now we hardly ever use it.
My advice is to make an attempt to go natural first. If that isn't working, try KY personal mist. It's a spray, and is not messy at all and feels very natural. That may not be enough though, because it's a very thin layer. So if it's not enough, I would use KY silk. I think it feels less sticky. Also I recommend having on hand regular KY as a last resort. It's a bit thicker, but you may find yourself wanting something more "heavy duty."
Take your time on your wedding night and enjoy. It's a special time for you guys. Don't worry about it if you can't completely finish the job on your first night. It took us a few days, but it was the funnest few days of my life.
Way to go on waiting.
Gee, I'm sorry your life hasn't worked out so well.
Wow, congrats on waiting! The first time can be really amazing, just make sure and relax. You're smart for thinking of this in advance, too. If you get worked up enough with anticipation and tons of foreplay, your body should provide plenty of lubrication. (Heck, foreplay is half the fun anyway!
) But you'll want to have some on hand just in case, especially if you haven't used toys or anything at all before--you're bound to be really tight and you may need it just for sheer "fit" issues.
As for specific lubes, I've had a lot of luck with KY Intrigue. It lasts a really long time, and it feels really natural. For girls with dryness issues, too, this is a godsend.
Congrats on waiting and on finding your love for life!
I just got married a couple of weeks ago, and it was my first time. I was nervous, although not as nervous as I thought (and I had some serious anxieties in the months leading up to the wedding). Anticipation can be very powerful so use it for the positive! One thing that I wish I had realized was the severe horror story image I had when people mentioned virgin "pain" was way out of proportion. I did have some, but there was pleasure too that made it bearable and it was more like discomfort. The pain was also resolved pretty quickly. And for me that's saying something cause I do not have a high tolerance for pain! Also, I was afraid that once my husband "got going" he might not realize if I hurt, but he was completely sensitive to my reactions. So if you are concerned about that I would say that you husband totally loves you and especially if he also waited, you two can take your time and let things go from awkward/clumsy/goofy to hot, hot, hot in their time.
Some posters say go natural, but I was really glad we had a lube cause I needed it! But not all the time. Don't be surprised or discouraged if you get to a point of feeling fabulous and then after a day some soreness returns-- I would have thought that was really bad but when it happened I realized my body was just still adjusting. Be patient. It's been 18 days and I am pretty sure I am out of the woods now.
I did find that KY (the basic travel size, no frills tube) was sticky, but it works well if you use enough. You two will have to figure out what enough is; I suggest a tablespoon or silver dollar amount. Another thing that was super, IMO, was a foam that I got as a gift ... so sorry the name escapes me! But foam seems to be a great form for this sort of thing.
Ok, this might be a little TMI, but I found it helpful to raise my hips (like a parallel bridge in pilates) for penetration, because the first part is a bit challenging and for some reason that position is more comfortable. So just a tip that may help if you have trouble just laying flat. Once he is inside, slowly lower down.
Anyway, I might not have posted on here since all this is so personal, but since you are where I was only 18 days ago, I had to. This was the information that I found most helpful in relation to your question. I hope this helped you! If you want more practical info, I would highly recommend reading The Act of Marriage by LaHaye - that was extremely helpful for me!
Friends and mentors all said that since I had waited that God would bless our experience so I shouldn't be anxious. I don't know if that is why you waited, but sharing this intimacy only with each other is so special, you won't ever regret it. All I could think as I gave my V was, it was sooo worth waiting for!
Also, I have no problem with dryness down there, orgasmed before penetration, and I still needed lube my first time. Big time!