May 2006 Weddings
ae2409
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how far would you move from "home"?
how far away would you move from your home/parents/siblings/etc.? my dh got a job offer in Chicago 2 weeks ago. i would love to move to Chicago, but i am so hesitant because it would be a plane ride to come home and visit every time. my immediate family is spread between PA, MD, and VA....all a car ride from where i am right now. i just don't know how i would feel being so far away from my family. i have lived in DE before and i thought that was perfect. if i got lonely when my dh was away i could hop in the car and drive home to visit. i really don't know what this post is for exactly...i just would love to hear your imput? thanks!
Re: how far would you move from "home"?
Before I was married I lived in upstate NY, Baltimore, and Florence, Italy. None were long term (6 months-3 years), so it is very different from your situation. Personally for me being close to my family is important. DH's family is spread and he is not as close as a result. We have made the decision to stay where we are until my sister's kids get out of school (or maybe ours), then we are moving north to Ithaca.
Is the offer good enough that you would not have to work? Is his/your job situations stable enough to weather the economy? How long would you be there? Have you compared cost of living? Those are questions that we have considered in addition to the overall driving factor of my family.
That's got to be a tough decision. Our families are here within 30 minutes of each other so I'm not really used to not being near them. I also hate to fly even though I've been all over I still get some anxiety when I have to fly so that would probably factor into the decision, if it was me.
good luck with what you guys decide!!!
I live 45 minutes from my family now and I wouldn't move any further. In fact, I wish they lived closer. I love spending the holidays with my family and being able to spend so much time with my nieces.
Good luck and let us know what you decide!!
Wow! Congrats to Elliot, how exciting!
In an ideal situation I would not want to move any farther than a comfortable drive where a weekend or long weekend "home" would be do-able. When Steve was in the running for a job up in NY we didn't feel we would mind it because it was only a 4 hr. drive. Now that he didn't get that job and knowing how sucky the economy/job outlook is right now, we're looking outside the box and obviously more willing to move outside that comfort zone. We figure we're still young w/ no kids, flying home a few times a year won't be that bad.
Now the thing that would hold me back a bit is knowing your DH has a job currently, so in a sense there's no dire need to move. I'm assuming that the money is obviously better w/ it being a big city, but you have to take into consideration the cost of living out there being A LOT higher... would it still be worth it to move? I know you would have more opportunity out there too, so that's another thing to think about. But if you couldn't find a job right away, would his salary still be able to support you both comfortably...again, taking into consideration the rise in COL. If it could, I would really, really consider it. It would be a great oppotunity for you both, and a lot of fun!
I know you are super close with your family though, so that has to be hard to be thinking of moving so far away from them. It really is a tough decision, and one that Steve and I might have to think about in the near future too (of course depending on where a job offer comes from). Bottom line is you gotta do what's right for you.
On a personal note, I'd be sad to see you move
You need to email me with more details!!!
thanks for the advice ladies. this job offer pretty much came out of nowhere. his uncle owns a consulting firm in chicago and 2 weeks ago he called elliot out of the blue and offered him a job. this is the second time his uncle has done this. the first job was in Wisconsin and elliot didn't even think about it, he said no thank you!! this second offer is more appealing to dh and that is why we were considering it. it would be for more money, but the higher income would not really matter due to the higher COL in chicago. it is still in the engineering field, but it is for a completely different sector, so everything would be new to dh. the thing is, dh has a great job right now close to home, flexible schedule, doing work he loves, AND he can take our dog to work whenever he wants too. his only gripe with his job is his "mentor"/boss. dh says he is crazy (mood swings, grumpy, etc.) the whole process seems daunting too....selling our house, finding a new house, moving all of our stuff out there, me finding a job, getting settled, etc. etc. i am open to moving, don't get me wrong...it's just i don't want to move somewhere where we have to fly when it's not a dire situation. dh is lucky enough to be in a field that is booming and his firm has been so busy this year...we are so very thankful. charlene - you are so very right. i am very close to my family. this weekend was one of my nephew's first birthday party and i kept thinking how i would be missing this if i moved. there is no way we could fly home for 10 (soon to be 11) nieces and nephews' birthdays. i told dh if he wants a change from his current job that i will move...to VA, MD, DE, or somewhere else in PA (or anywhere else we can drive home for a weekend). he is happy with that. dh told me he won't move us somewhere if i am going to be unhappy. so we shall see what the future may bring. thank you for hearing me out!
charlene - coffee date sometime soon?
I'm glad you were able to come up with a decision that best suits you and Elliot Allie. That's great news about your husbands field though and it sounds like he'll still have options if he doesn't take this exact one.
Moving can be hard and I think the hour or so we've moved from family is about all I could do at this point. With the baby coming I've been thinking more our decision to start our life down here. I love where we are and I absolutely love the area. I feel this is where we're meant to be. I do sometimes wish our families were maybe a half hour drive instead of an hour+ though. At the same time I know there is no way I could move back to that area and be happy. Its all so tough but I think its mostly my pregnancy making me feel sad about the distance right now.
Sounds like you made the right decision Allie. I'm sure it was a tough one but you always have to do whats best for you both.
I could never move away from my family. I am very close to them and so used to seeing them everyday at work that it would be so hard to not see them. My parents only live like 5 minutes from me (if that) and its nice to just drop Del off when we have to go somewhere or with the baby coming, they will be able to babysit often. DH's family is all over the US so they are not that close and it would drive me nuts.