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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How do you unfunkfy the Hubs?
Ugh... Hubs is in a funk all down on himself over a lot of random stuff.
Mostly career/ school/ work related -and I swear it feels like nothing I can say or do is helping to snap him out of it. 
And here's where the selfish B comes out in me: It's annoying the crap out of me. We have SO MUCH to be thankful for and be happy about and the man has been down in the dumps going on a month or so now.
What do you do to cheer up H when he's in a funk?
Re: How do you unfunkfy the Hubs?
aw, man... i can SOOOO relate. my guy's in a similar way right now. and has ben for quite some time now. soooooo frustrating, all around.
i mean, i totally GET that he's down... same stuff... money/career/what-am-i-gonna-do-with-my-life stuff. big stuff. i know he's feeling lost and confused. but, somewhere along the way, something's gotta give, right???
i get the pity party thing. we all do that to some extent. but at some point, he's gotta realize that things AREN'T going to happen by themselves. so he can do the same thing day in and day out and be miserable, or he can actually be proactive to do SOMETHING to take steps to change the situation. My husband doesn't quite get that concept. I mean, he SAYS he understands... but somewhere along the lines of accepting it logically and then turning the thought into MOTION of some sort, the message gets lost. So he does nothing. and mopes.
he's stopped COMPLAINING about stuff as much cuz I got on his case about it (the B in me...). Seriously, same thing. after it had gone on for awhile, i exploded. I mean, if you don't like the situation you're in, then DO something about it. Not saying that things will change right away. But even baby steps are better than doing nothing and complaining about the same stuff over and over and over again. grrrr...
for a while, i tried to be helpful. He hates his job (and has for the last 4 years or so, but doesn't change cuz it's "stable"). I'd scout out jobs on Craigslist that I thought he'd be interested in, and emailed the postings to him. he responded to a few of them, but let me know that he didn't like me doing this, cuz he needed to take care of himself. um, okay, then DO it!!! ($%&&^^!!!)
this was on his mind again last night. he said that he was feeling even worse about things, cuz he should strong enough to handle his own stuff, and he felt like he was failing. and he didn't want to ask for help. so i asked him... who do you think is actually stronger? the man who struggles and handles everything alone, or the one who recognizes his need and humbles himself enough to ASK for the help he needs? that one made him stop and think.
sorry i'm not much help here... i don't know how to pull him outta a funk. I've learned what NOT to do, though. I can't take over and try to fix things. at all. makes him feel even worse.
just wanted to let you know that you are not alone... ; )
Chart/Blog
Nothing breeds faster than Crazy
Youtube videos
Alcohol
Sexy time
Well when my hub gets like this, he is stressing hardcore and does not want to 'do' something. He feels like when he is stressed/upset about things, that he cant concentrate on whatever activity is planned ( long walk, night out, back rub etc..) I usually suggest that we watch whatever crazy explosion movie he wants to watch and spend time with him. He is not one to just unload his thoughts as soon as he is upset, he needs to process things. After he has vented whatever is weighing heavy on his mind, I think of something positive for every negative thing he has to say ( sometimes, difficult) I constantly remind him of how blessed we are. I do not think you are being bratty to be annoyed. Its hard to watch someone you love be upset and in a feel sorry for yourself mood....Sorry that was long and perhaps rambling.
GL hope he snaps out of it soon!
I knew BJ Would be one of the answers...
I think a vacay might be a good idea for him. Maybe a weekend GTG and we can take Fri, SAt Sun Mon or something..
Where to though?
S I did that yesterday told him to think of all the things we have to be thankful for and what makes him happy and his response was something along the lines of "I don't feel like being happy- being happy isn't helping me think through this rationally"
Well excuse me mopey butt but being in the dumps for 3 weeks almost 4 isn't helping you either. hmmmph!
palm springs (morongo for gambling?), san diego, santa barbara.
Ah, that sounds like something Zee would say...he is SO black and white sometimes! Very frusterating! At that point I may give him some time to 'think' and work it out. If all else fails sometimes laugh therapy is really the best medicine. Get those endorphines flowing and perhaps things will turn around!
haha - totally this!
I am! he's a beer drinker though
That would cheer me up though?!
Do they have beer fastivals?!
They had one last weekend in LA... in case you are interested (for yourself!), here is more info:
http://www.sbcountywines.com/events/festival.html
<dead and buried>
this is what I do because I get annoyed that he's annoyed.
xoxo,
bad wife #2
I have to agree with this one... and so does my husband. We've discussed this kind of stuff before. There seems to be a mentality out there that if you go away on vacation, and get away from it all, it will magically make things better. But when you get back home, you're walking into the same mess that you left behind for a few days.
I get that a short trip can be condusive to things to some degree... it's nice to take a "time-out" from daily stressors. And it DOES become necessary at times. But it doesn't fix anything. Go on a trip this weekend, come back home, and you'll still have a grumpy hubby.
Take my recommendations with a grain of salt... cuz only YOU know your guy and how he'd respond. But you might think of letting him know that you REALIZE he's been frustrated with a LOT lately, and he's NOT happy. Let him know that you don't know what will make him happy. And while it's okay for him to NOT feel happy at the moment, and feel whatever he's feeling (and going thru), you've noticed that he's been this way for quite a while now. And you know he's in a rough spot right now, but you're worried for him. And maybe, though it won't necessarily FIX things, he'd like to take a BREAK from it all and just not think about it for a day (or two), just to try and rest his mind and body for a bit from all the stressors. You might ask if there is something he can think of that might alleviate some stress and help him relax, if only for the moment. Just to step away OUT of the situation for a while. Like a weekend away. (Not sure if this is a good suggestion if there are money issues involved.) Or even a day trip somewhere. Or prod him into calling up some buddies and getting together with them. Or even some alone time for himself.
I dunno... just some little things that I've found have helped alleviate the pressure every now and again.
So did I. I thought it was going to be about ungodly body odor or something. Anyway, I vote beer and a bj.
Kirkette I thnk you're great.
This. And then I usually yell at him and tell him to get over it and be happy.
Bah- I am dealing with this also. I just leave him along until he snaps out of it.
No more BJs for DH because I got braces. Feck.
Bad Wife #4 signing in for duty.