Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What would you do? (pet situation)
Sorry this is SUPER long-stop now if that frustrates you! Also, Im really just trying to think this through, and would rahter not be flamed. I do want opinions, though as to the outcome. Fine line, I know!
So we have two cats...one of them, Tigger, is about 3 years old. He is a really sweet cat, very affectionate and loves people. When we got Tigger we saw that he would get pretty hyper sometimes, and really wanted to go outside. He isnt an outside cat, but if you arent paying attention, he will dart right out the door. If he gets out, usually within about 2 minutes we grab him and get him back in. There has been one time, where we brought DH's moms new kitten over to our apt to babysit it. Well, Tigger went nuts, and literally almost killed it. After we got the kitten away he, for no reason, went after our other cat (that he is used to). It was like he had blood in his eyes and was out to kill-it was so strange. We think maybe before he was at the pound that he might have been a ferrel cat, but an outside cat for sure. So yesterday my mom was here visiting, and she accidentally left the door open as she was loading up her car. Out went Tigger. He didnt go far, and she picked him right up and put him inside. Well, 2 seconds later, there he went again. My mom went after him, he went a little further, but she got him. Well, she not knowing his sort of quirkiness, picked him up and he got spooked I guess...he scratched her on the hand and I yelled at her to just drop him. It wasnt worth it...I didnt want her hurt. So I went after him and got him.
So mom left, all was fine and DH got home from work about 9:30pm last night. I heard him come in the door, then the door shut. I thought he was setting something in the doorway and going back out to unload the truck-this is his routine. About 5 minutes later, the doorbell rang. I knew the door was unlocked, because he just came in. I thought he was messing with me, so I ignored him. Well he rang it and rang it again. So I went down and cracked the door to make sure it was him. Just as I cracked he said, open the door, hurry. So I did and there he was holding Tigger, and DH was covered in blood. I'm not talking like how he nicked my mom...this wasnt good. I asked what happened, and DH just said help me clean up fast, Ive got to get the dirt out. When he calmed down he said that he went to pick up Tigger, and should have known better...his tail was puffed up and Im sure he was spooked. When he picked him up he lost it.
DH had two of Tiggers claws stuck in his arm, scratches from about the middle of his forearm down to his fingertips, and a pretty deep bite puncture on his hand. I honestly thought TIgger had gotten into it with another cat, or animal and Brett was trying to seperate them, and the OTEHR animal got him...not the case. I cleaned him up and called a nurse (a hotline on my insurance card). It was clear he didnt need stiches or the ER, but I wanted to see what the best thing to do was. She said just use soap and water, and nothing else since the tissue was damaged, and to call the Dr immediately to get an antibiotic. She said bites from cats are very prone to infection, especially on the hands. Cats carry alot of bacteria. SO I called, and they are supposed to have a RX ready this morning.
Ok, so BRett was super upset. Long story short Brett deals with anxiety and depression and this cat has been like a medication or therapy for him. I know that sounds nuts, but when Brett gets down, or sick, its like this cat helps him so much. (I think the cat/pet owners will understand maybe) Brett got really upset and said we were going to have to get rid of him. We couldnt risk him doing this again, or hurting our other cat. I understand what he means but I know Brett is really hurt about it. Im more concerned (and I truely care about the cat) about Brett. I fear if the cat goes Brett will get really depressed or it will affecting him badly. Again, I know it sounds weird, but trust me.
So the discussion was a) do we get rid of him? And b) if we do what do we do? Put him down? Just let him go outside?
I wont lie, this cat makes me nuts all the time...he is constantly a pain...diggin in the trash, causing trouble with the other cat-he just bugs me. Ive always joked about getting him a new home. Now I feel so bad. He is a sweet caring cat, and I know he wasnt doing anything to hurt Brett, he was just being defensive naturally. But what if it happens again...to Brett, to me, or like my mom.
Again the big question is do we get rid of him. As far as if we do, I dont know how or what to do. If we find him a new home, he could do the same to someone else. He seems fine and loving, but he has this wild side I guess. Or if we let him go outside (which Brett wants to do, so he "has a chance"), I fear someone might find him, and them they might try to pick him up and take him, and he may do it again then, too. Or what if a child saw him...Id hate for that to happen. And then theres the thought of Tigger getting eaten, or in a fight and sick or ran over...thats just as bad. Or we just have him put down-seems to be the safest option...I fear I would just feel so guilty.
Again, please dont flame me...Im just trying to think this through really. What would you do. I wish you all knew my cat so you could see his personality and stuff. Sounds like he is a monster. He isnt, he just seems like part wild cat.
Poor DH...this morning his scrathed are all red and puffy, he cant move on of hs thumbs, and the only spot still oozing is the puncture from the bite. He might just need to go to the Dr anyways, though we are getting this antibiotic. Im so sad for him...he calls Tigger his friend, and he knows how this cat has really helped him. Our other cat is very gentle and loving, but for some reason, Brett has a bond with Tigger-I know it has alot to do with his depression and stuff.
Re: What would you do? (pet situation)
Your DH needs to go to the hospital right away - my friend got attacked by her cat and she had a really bad infection that required her to be on IV antibiotics for two days.
I really really dislike one of our cats, but I would NEVER think of just letting him out to fend for himself. Of course, this cat has never shown any type of agression towards us at all. Do you live in a house or apt? (sorry if I missed that in your story..) if so, you might want to let the cat outside a few hours a day, if the weather is nice, in something like this http://www.kittywalk.com/ so the cat has a chance to be outside where it seems like he wants to be, but also is safe from the elements. Or do you think the cat would go nuts if you put him in something like this?
I was wondering about that...if there is a medication he can take to calm him down. We dont let him out intentially. If we are carrying in groceries or just coming in, he is like lightning, and darts out-he wants to be outside. He will sit in the window sometimes and just "cry" and howl or talk...he sees the birds and other animals outside Im sure. He's never out there long-just as long as it takes to catch him-usually; couple of minutes. I'd say he only gets out about once a month like this.
I'm not opposed to the idea of outdoor cats, I dont think its cruel unless they have been declawed...thats mean to me. I just dont want an indoor outdoor cat...they can bring in fleas to the other cat or into the apt in general. And they can get into fights with other animals and get wounds that need to be addressed (this happened to our inlaws cat...he got into it with something and had to go to the vet immediately because of the wound). Thats really all beside the point in this case...I think its just do we get rid of him...if we do do we put him to sleep, or "let him go", or find a new home/adoption agency for him. I just feel like I couldnt give him to someone else or an agency without letting them know what happened, and then that doesnt make his future look any brighter.
Olivekittys...(sorry I cant reply to a reply)
We live in an apt. A long time ago we used to try to give him outside time, so it would maybe give him a "fix". We had a harness and a lease...he loved it but he got fleas, and brought them in, then the other cat got them and they were everywhere-I just hate that. Also, when we did the "walking" him thing he liked it but it didnt make him calmer or anything, and he just wanted to go out more. As far as the things on the link you sent...I think he would likely just want to escape those or even try to tear his way out. Its like the closer to the outside elements, the better for him. If DH walks out the door, Tigger will go sit at the door, and pry his little paws under the corner as if he can get it open, and hell just sit there and cry and howl. The idea of outside is always on his mind I guess. And I feel like thats where he truely wants and needs to be...all the wildness, the energy. He needs to be a farm cat!
What if you try to find him a new home on craigslist? Maybe a farmer would pick him up! LOL. Seriously though, it sounds pretty obvious that you aren't wanting/capable to keep him as an inside cat if he is this wild. I know you care about him and he's not always a monster but it just doesn't sound like it's working out for any of you, including the cat. If your husband gets comfort from a cat when he is depressed can the other cat you have not serve that purpose? I think you need to call the vet about meds, give those a chance, and if that doesn't work you need to find him a new home.
Like you I would be more concerned about your DH than the cat. Sorry you have to deal with this.
We had a cat like that growing up and he ended up attacking a neighbor. We couldn't in good conscience keep him around and let it happen again. We put him down. We just couldn't live with him attacking a child or anyone else.
I don't think you can really make him an outside cat. I'd be so afraid that he would do this to someone else too. It's too much liability. So, maybe meds would work.
Good luck!
I would talk to my vet about the problem and see if they have any recommendations as far as medication or calming techniques and ask for a referral to a behaviorist in case what the vet suggests isn't enough.
I used to listen to this radio show and they were always recommending Feliway. Patricia (the behaviorist on the show) says it seems to have a calming effect on some cats, but not all. It may or may not work for your cat, but it's probably worth a shot.
JLH
I think finding him a new home would save his life of course, but I cant think about this happening to someone else, or a child. Now if he was really on a farm, yesh it might work, but I dont know...I feel like if he goes to a new home Im obligated to tell them what happened-id feel so bad if I wasnt honest.
Its just sad...I want it to work for all of us, and I sure dont want it to sound slike I dont want the cat or dont love the cat...its just about safety at this point I guess.
As far as the other cat "playing the comfort role" with DH...the other cat is just as sweet if not sweeter, but theres just something about DH and Tigger...Tigger is a little different. He senses when you arent well and its like he is almost a person. I know I know its weird...but it isnt that he is just a cat that lays with DH when he feels bad-its different. Again I think if I could better explain it, I wcouldnt sound like a nut.
The very first thing I would do today is make an appt with the vet ASAP. ?He could have something wrong that is causing him pain when people pick him up (which could be why he is freaking out). ?There are also some anti anxiety medications that could potentially help as well. ?
I would also call a behaviorist. They may have some insights and tips as well.?
?I definitely would not just put the cat outside. ?Chances are he will keep coming back to your apartment. ??
?Good luck and let us know what happens!?
Along with the comments on here, Im talking to a few people in the office as well as some friends about this and Im liking the idea of taking him to the Vet to get checked out...maybe there is something wrong with him thats causing this behavior...seems that an infection or fever or anything similar can cause change in a cat. Maybe thats a good first step before thinking about getting rid of him or anything.
Ugh, I just feel so bad.
I'm so sorry this happened
I am a cat lover, but they ARE animals, and sometimes good cats freak out. I was bitten by my cat when I was 12. He was such a great cat, but one day he was hiding under my bed and I was practicing a routine for Musical Theater, so all he could see were my legs moving all over the place. He pounced. We thought nothing of it, cleaned it, treated it with neosporin and one week later I woke up and my leg was swollen and oozing. My Mom immediately took me to the doctor and she said if we'd waited one more day I would have had to go into the hospital. We were shocked because it was pretty small bite! Moral of that long story: Send your DH to the doctor. Period.
Now, on to the cat. This really is a tough situation. Take him to the vet first. Explain what's been happening and see if they can put him on meds. If you REALLY REALLY REALLY can't keep him, I like the idea of looking for a farmer who needs a farm cat. That could be a good thing for him. Some cats really are just meant to be wild. BUT - if he displays sweet behavior too, the meds could work.
I've been dealing with my whopping share of behavioral issues and here's my opinion.
1 ) letting the cat outside - Highly against this. Besides the possibility of bringing about his death, think about the diseases he could bring in to your other cat. As a 3 year old cat that hasn't been outside, he's inexperienced at outdoor life. We used loud noises to scare our cats away from the door. I used to bang on my wok (standing outside the door) when the cats got close to it. That might help the fact that he tries to run so often.
2) giving the cat away - I know you asked for no flames but this is seriously irresponsible because I think you still have options that you haven't explored.
3) aggression towards cats - even though two of my cats adore each other (they sleep together & all that) new smells & stressful situations cause them to lunge at each other. This really isn't a big deal. Your cat is obviously territorial so bringing in new cats/kittens should be done with more caution or in steps. The proper way to introduce new animals is through a door and then letting them slowly meet each other for short periods of time.
4) agression towards people - If the cat hasn't shown aggression towards you before and this is a one-off thing, then yes he was very spooked. I've had Biggie for 4 years and he's bit me once, quite hard because he was upset. I also have Gizmo who gets overstimulated, growls and will bite any exposed piece of skin when you are laying in bed. I don't provoke him. I cover myself up with a blanket and he gets disinterested. But either way, this isn't what we are talking about. I use Feliway in my house and it does have a calming effect. I've also had Biggie on kitty Prozzac. There are definitely other options to explore.
5) other issues. You mentioned some other issues with the cat and I didn't see any that were crazy difficult. I'm not trying to be an ass, but here I am dealing with 3 cats, two of whom will pee on my stuff if I piss them off or look at them wrong, one of which won't hesitate to draw blood if provoked, one of which hates people and lunges at them, one of which keeps me up from 2-4am just because. And I never considered letting them outside or putting them down.
Lynn, you arent being an ass...I understand where you are coming from.
Do you get the Feliway from your vet, of can you purchase it "over the counter"?
Also, can you tell me anything more about the kitty Prozzac. Is it for calming? Agression? I have no clue!
First of all, I assume he's fixed? If not, that needs to be priority 1!
Definitely go talk to your vet and find out if they have any suggestions.
Also, I'd recommend going to thecatsite.com/forums. Just post your problems and ask for help, don't mention putting him down or giving him away or you WILL get flamed, but it could still be a really great resource as those people have been through it all with cats!
I'm sorry you're having trouble
Definitely look into meds and definitely make your husband go to the dr ASAP!
Also, we have used Dr. Brown's Rescue Remedy on Sam our nervous kitty. It seems to calm him. you can buy it at Whole Foods or Central Market. They have drops you can put in their mouth, or creme you can put on their nose that they lick off.
http://www.rescueremedy.com/
Feliway is over the counter. I get it at Petsmart. It's a bit pricey, but totally worth it because it has made a big difference in my house. It takes a few weeks to see affects though so give it some time. Once you buy the diffuser, you can get refills cheaper on amazon.com
The kitty Prozzac we used on Biggie was for agression. It basically made him super mellow.
Dogs are trainable, but sometimes they do just snap and bite people. I got bit in the azz by a totally trained dog once. That is why I have cats and not dogs. But dogs can maim and kill people, I have never heard of cat killing anyone.
Trained or not, I think any animal has the potential to snap. I did think about what would happen if this were a dog-it wouldnt fly thats for sure. I dont think it matters what animal it is, damage is damage. My issue at this moment is that if I just went on and did nothing, and this happened again, but to someone else-DH again, my mom, my nephew or neice (Im thinking of people that come over alot) I would feel very aweful knowing that it had happened before and there I more or less let it happen again. A scratch or something is one thing-I mean our cats have nicked us several times just playing or something, but Bretts arms are really messed up-and the bite is especially the worst. Im just trying to think of the future. I have no clue what I will end up doing, but Im looking at all angles.
Even if I put the cat on meds to mellow him out, it makes me think of the dog analogy. I can train a dog, but that doesnt mean he wont snap. So if I pout a cat on meds of some sort, does that mean he wont ever snap.
I also think that theres alot of difference in people opinions when it comes to animals becasue of the different extremes when it comes to animal lovers. I love animals, but I have to take care of myself as well, and if a situation is unsafe/unstable letting it go as is might be just as irresponsible as someone might say putting him down is , or giving hime to someone else knowing what happened. Though I'm an animal lover, and though I have no kids, its interesting to think about what if I had a child and this happened to them. (sort of how I feel about my mom-he could have easily done more to her than he did).
Anyways, Im glad I posted it because there are things I didnt think of and different prospectives. We dont want to make an emotional decision, so its best to hear all the opinions and do what research I can...on here, with the vet, other cat owners, etc.
James Sawyer 12.3.10
Leo Richard 9.20.12
This may not be a good idea if the cat is a runner. Just in case for some reason it decides to run again it won't be able to protect himself if for some reason he got lost.
Please don't declaw him
I won't flame anyone or get on a soapbox about why, but please don't. It just makes me very sad.