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"You've lost weight!"
So our OOT friends that were here this weekend are not exactly small people. One would almost border the "2 seats on a plane" rule now.
Anyways, they are constantly on the weight loss battle, the wife more than the husband. (the husband is the bigger of the two though, and I blame his borderline alcoholism and lifestyle.... but that's another discussion for later)
So anyways, I told the wife that H and I were talking, and it looked like she lost weight. She blushed and said, "yea, I lose some, then I gain some and then lose some again."
Later, H totally yelled at me for saying that to her. He said that telling her she lost weight was the equivalent of me telling her that she's "not as fat" as she was before. I tried to tell him that women like it, but he didnt believe me.
Do you like to hear you've lost weight?
Do you tell people when you've noticed that they've lost weight?
Re: "You've lost weight!"
I LOVE when people tell me I've lost weight. I am not proud, I know I got some chub to lose. But I'm not even close to the two seats on the plane, so maybe it's different for a very overweight person, but wouldn't think so!
NOW if you said "OMG you've lost a TON of weight!" that would be questionable.
Chart/Blog
Nothing breeds faster than Crazy
Not that I've heard that phrase directed at me for a while .......
In the past though, I have had mixed feelings about similar comments. I think most of my negative feelings would happen when people would follow that statement with a, "You look great now!", implying that I looked awful before. Or some people would say, "Keep it up!", implying I still had more weight to lose, even if I thought I was near my goal. But I've got some issues about stuff like this, so I know my sensitivities were also a factor.
I love it because when I have lost weight I have worked my butt off to lose it. I don't even care if they are saying it as I am not as fat as I was before as long as they say I look smaller. There are times when I have been working hard and maybe I can't tell the difference because of seeing myself every day. If I see someone I have not seen in a month and they can tell it makes me very, very happy.
One night someone told my DH (he was probably 185 pounds at the time) that he had lost weight. He had been really sick and had not eaten much in a couple of weeks. I don't think he cared that someone noticed.
I think your DH is wrong but maybe someone will prove me wrong.
If I have been working hard and infact lost weight...I appriciate the attention
If I just look "different" to them and have gained weight, I just dont want to hear it.
What I ESPECIALLY dont like to hear is this rude ass comment that I got last summer. MH had recently lost about 30 lbs, and looked fantastic. We ran into some (his) family friends and the 'auntie' commented " wow! it looks like you have lost weight, but it seems you have given it to her" I nearly fainted and MH just quickly ushered me away.
This.
Damn!
My relatives are totally the same way. My mom actually surprised me when I was in MI last month for my baby shower. My aunt said, "You've gained weight, huh?" (totally serious in a judging way) and my mom looked at her and said, "Duh, she's pregnant, what do you expect?" Then, in true family fashion, they asked me how much I've gained. What kills me is I know deep down in their hearts, they honestly do mean well. They just suck at it.
As long as I've actually lost weight, there's nothing I love more than validation that others are noticing. It's my favorite compliment.
I never hesitate to tell a woman that I've noticed she's lost weight, unless she's already skinny or I think it could be related to health issues. I almost never tell guys that they've lost weight, since I know most of them don't like to hear it unless they've been dieting.
OMG. Last year I gained 5 lbs and the women in my family were horrified. They pulled DH aside and decided to have an intervention about my weight. They started grilling him about the foods he's allowing me to eat, and how much butter we use to cook with.
. Yay for FOBs
.
No joke!
Ditto this. On Easter, which was my freaking birthday, my SIL's whacko aunt looked at my stomach and said "Congratulations." I just gave her a blank stare hoping to make her feel as uncomfortable as possible. I can't help that I carry my weight in my stomach damn it! So FRO.
APK, I think what you said was sweet and I'm sure she appreciated your comment.
I think the safest way to go about is if they've already talked about how they are/are trying to lose weight. Otherwise it can come off in the "You looked like crap before" way. I think what you did was fine