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Might not be able to celebrate my parents 40th with my family :(
My two brothers and I have been trying to decide what to do to celebrate my parents 40th wedding anniversary this August...we floated the idea of a party here or there and finally decided that we would just bring them out to dinner and have a small gathering.
We decided on bringing them to Villa Banca in Nashua and my middle brother and his wife who live in western MA would drive out here...anyways, since it is a long drive for them the dinner will probably end up being in the afternoon....which leaves Tom and I in a bind...because of Austin...
I think that either Tom will have to stay home with Austin or most likely, I will have to stay home with him, since often, breastfeeding is the only way to calm him and/or get him to take a nap during the day....he's just still too young to be left with a sitter for a long period of time and I don't think that my brothers get that, even though my oldest brother has kids...they especially don't get the BFing thing....
It just sucks....
I'm hoping they can make plans for after 6:30pm when Austin is down for the night and we can get someone to just hang around for the evening, but with my brother living 2 hours away, I don't foresee that happening...
Re: Might not be able to celebrate my parents 40th with my family :(
He doesn't "nap on the go"
Lisa,
When is the last time you brought Austin out w/ you guys? Maybe try again and it will work.
I can't remember the last time we went out with him....I'm so afraid to go out with him now, because I hated when he would get over stimulated and upset
I guess the worst that could happen is that we'd have to leave dinner....but I'm just honestly so scared to try!!
Thanks, Sarah, I'll have to check them out...I do have a nursing cover, but it doesn't have the boning in them like those nursing covers...
I agree with PP's, Lisa. ?Believe me, I know how you feel. ?Ben used to be very fussy and it made me feel like I never wanted to leave the house because he would get miserable and I would feel like a bad Mom. ?It just made my life easier to stay home and not deal with the possibility of him losing it when we are out. ?Eventually though, I got soooo tired of feeling like a prisoner in my own home. ?And you know what? ?Ben surprised the heck out of me. ?He is usually so good when we are out and he is still 99% BF, rarely gets a bottle... Sometimes I bring the Boppy in the car and will feed him in the car right before we go in somewhere. ?
You know I love ya, and I'm NOT judging or criticizing you, because you are a GREAT Mom, but I think you need to give yourself a break. ?Take him out with you once in awhile- just try it. ?As he gets older, I promise it will get so much easier!! ?And the worst that will happen is he will get fussy- and ALL babies get fussy, so my attitude is the public will have to deal with it now and then because I can't live in my house 24 hours a day. ?If I know I have done everything I can to make Ben comfortable- sometimes they need to "grouch it out", as Larry & I call it. ? But if you're not ready yet, that's all up to you!
And my offer still stands- I know you said you don't want to leave him with a sitter yet- but I am just down the road and would def. help you out! ?I can leave Ben home with Larry and come watch Austin for a bit. ?Fussy babies don't phase me anymore (thanks to Ben as an infant, haha) and I will take great care of him. ?You just let me know. ?((Hugs))?
I have to agree with what everyone else is saying and PLEASE don't take this the wrong way.. but Jeanette is right YOU need a break and YOU need to be able to go out and spend time with family and friends even if that means bringing a fussy baby along. All babies get fussy and overstimulated at a certain point in the day its just inevitable = ) I really think you should give it a shot and bring him along. If you haven't taken Austin out anywhere recently than how do you know how he will react if its been so long? Austin has to learn that its ok to go out.. he needs to see the world. I would go absolutely crazy sitting at home everyday. I think part of your anxiety about this is your not really sure what to do when you are out and he gets fussy.. but the only way to learn what to do and what works is to go out! = )
I can remember going to Wal- Mart on a few occasions when brianna was very little and she would become SO fussy I would have to take her out of her seat and bounce her in my arms. She was screaming and people were giving me sympathy looks... but from those experiences I learned what to do incase she does become fussy and I learned what doesn't work for her. I will NEVER forget those two instances of standing in the aisles of walmart while she just screamed bloody murder!
I would take Austin out alittle at a time each day. Take him to Target or the mall and walk around. Plan it around a feeding time so you'll have a plan in place and know what to do. If you're going to BF him in public you've got to be comfortable with that and have a routine for that. Or you BF him in the car before you go inside somewhere. You need to start somewhere... you two can't stay home forever = ) Babies go everywhere these days and sometimes they just cry. Thats what babies do .. they cry and its ok. But you've got to build up your confidence!!
If I were in your shoes... the only reason why I would entertain the thought of canceling the dinner with your parents would be if my daughter was sick. Other than that.. everything goes and we deal with whatever may come our way at that time. If shes fussy, she's fussy. = )
Good luck!!!! ((Big hugs!!! ))
Thanks everyone...
My oldest brother is going to try and arrange to have the dinner after 6:30pm, but who knows if it will fly with my other brother who lives a distance. I'd be willing to try and bring Austin, but it appears that my brothers don't want any kids there...
I do try and get out with Austin and I bring him for walks to hear the traffic or dogs barking, etc. or I sit on my front steps with him in his carrier, so we both get out of the house...until he starts staying awake for longer, I really can't run errands with him - right now 1 hour is all he will last, tops - then he starts yawning and rubbing his eyes and he has to go down for a nap. He's just not a portable kid, that's who he is and I can't change it - he may surprise me if I bring him out at some point.... I am actually going to my SILs tomorrow for lunch, so we will see he does trying to nap outside of our home (with no PNP like my folks have)...
Lisa, What if you tried to do errands during his nap time? Time it right so that he falls asleep as your driving to where ever you are going? This is exactly what I used to do with Brianna. We would do errands during her morning nap which was around 10am.. she'd sleep while I shopped or whatever. It worked out great and because I did that she has gotten used to sleeping/falling asleep while "on the go". Ofcourse there were days where it just didn't work and we needed to be home for her naps.. but for the most part this worked great for us. I"m just not the type of person that can stay home all day long everyday. I HAVE to get out.. even if its just running to the post office.
I know this is frustrating for you Lisa and you know your child best. I'm hoping that your able to schedule the dinner after 6:30 and you find a sitter you are comfortable with! Things will get better as he starts to grow older and is able to stay up for longer periods! (( hugs))
Congrats to your parents for their 40th!! Taking them out to dinner seems like it will be very special. Maybe you could at least meet them for dessert while Tom stays home with Austin, or have someone order for you and try to arrive right when the food comes. A 40th anniversary is definitely something to celebrate, and I really hope that you can make it! My brother and I threw our parents a big surprise party for their 25th, it was such fun. I think they are working on their 34th this summer.