South Jersey Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Strip Clubs (kinda long)
I need some advice, Saturday my H went to a Bachelor party for his really good friend that is getting married next month. I knew that they were heading for a strip club and prepared myself for it, because I totally HATE those places, I could go on forever about how I feel about them. Anyway yesterday when he finally got up and I was able to talk to him I asked for the extra money he had left over so I could go to the food store, and he had all of these singles, and the amount of money that he had left was not much, so I got pretty upset that he wasted all this money on tipping these girls, when I brought it up to him his response was there just trying to make a living. I just can not get the image out of my head of some nasty naked girl dancing for my husband. Am I just being childish about it and should get over it or would you feel the same way? Oh and he knows how I feel about strip clubs. Thanks ladies.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Re: Strip Clubs (kinda long)
I don't really care too much about strip clubs. I mean, I'm not crazy about lap dances but I know they got my H one on his bachelor party in Montreal. I trust him that he wouldn't want anything to do with those girls anyway. He actually thinks it's a waste of money to go to strip clubs, but he definitely goes for bachelor parties.
I've been to Club Risque once and it's really not that crazy. Doesn't really bother me.
Agreed. But I also wouldn't want to investigate further if there was something more to learn. The thought of my H getting a lap dance from a stripper makes me want to vomit.
I agree with what everyone is saying. I do not like the ideas of strip clubs at all, but I understand that socially guys go for bachelor parties and special occasions. As much as I hate thinking of him there looking at naked skanks, as long as he isn't getting a lap dance I can't get mad at him for it. You never know, maybe your H spent money on tipping for the skanks to do stuff to his friend (nothing bad, but for a lap dance, bringing him on stage, etc).
As long as it isn't a frequent occurance and he didn't get a lap dance, I would try and drop it.
I would just drop it, but then again, it's not that big of a deal to me. He wasn't there by himself, he was there with his friends, and I'm sure that the money went towards tipping, booze, and food. Some clubs have some pretty good food believe it or not! ;-) I would have made sure that H used his extra $$ for it rather than our money.
Yes, the girls are trying to make a living, but it's not the best way to go about it or to get respect. It's definitely not the profession for me, but who am I to judge?
I hate the thought of it too but I'm not bothered by it. My Fiancee also went this weekend for my brothers bachelor party....they didn't even plan on going but once my brother got drunk one of the guys thought it would be funny. Once they got there one of them bought my brother like 5 lap dances which they do in a private room which I then told my fiancee I would kill him if he ever did!! My brother needless to say wasn't too pleased with it, my fiancee said it ruined the night b/c they were having fun at the club and then ended up sitting there.
I knew they where there b/c my fiancee had texted me saying they were going b/c my brother "wanted to see boobies
" and for a second I had a bit of jealousy but got over it...I know him and I know it's not his thing....I drove 4 of the guys home including my fiancee and they said it was such a waste. Most guys think it's trashy as are the girls and aren't into it so don't let it bother you and after last weekend when I had to go to Savage Men for a bachelorette party I can't say a thing b/c strip clubs for women are so much worse.
Yeah it's sickening to think of your husband,boyfriend or fiancee getting a lap dance but most men get nothing out of it....on that note I did tell my fiancee that even though I know they weren't planning on going for his that I wanted him to know that I would feel much better if they didn't b/c it does bother me.
i totally understand the feeling...however, at some point you just need to remember that he married you...he loves you. ?this is just a dumb thing men do with their friends. ?these girls are just using the men to earn a living- they have no interest in hubby other than money. ?and for men this is an ego boost...i have no idea why, but they are strange creatures.
now, i do have a problem with overspending at the strip club...especially these days when everyone is and could at any time lose their job.?
I have to agree with Toni. I actually just went a couple weekends ago to "see what it was like". Yeah... I walked out down about 70 bucks and $ 3 of it went to a girl. A Miller light was like 7 bucks *2 people the funds go pretty quick.
This is coming from the girl who hates her husband going to strip clubs too.
I think Shari hit it on the head.
Personally, my biggest issue with the situation you presented is his reasoning. He should have just said it was for his friend or tipping the waitresss. Not sure why his answer irks me, but it does.
And if any of the unmarried girls are worried, just suggest DC as his bachelor party locale. Lap dances are outlawed and you can't even touch the girls to tip them. Best text ever to get during your bachelorette
Strip clubs=no big deal. Most of the girls are there to earn quick money and so be it. I couldn't do it personally but I can't judge them for doing it. Personally, I think strip clubs tend to breed a lot of insecurity in the average folk. A strip club can be a much safer place than a corner bar. At least in a strip club that chick is getting paid in cold cash to make my dh feel special. In the corner bar, that wasted chick is trying to hook up with my dh and get him to buy him drinks.....if my husband came home from the bar and had no money left after buying some poptart shots all night then I might have a reason to be pissed.....
Drinks, food and tips for the bartender can eat up a lot of money. He may have also chipped in for a buddies lap dance. Don't fret too much about the missing ones. I'd be peeved about the money spent in general too, just cause it was for something silly.
One of my old roommates was a 'dancer' at Cheerleaders. She looked at men no more than two legged ATMs, at no point was she ever interested in a man that walked into her bar. Most of the guys that got lap dances from her were are pretty pathetic or dumb frat guys. She would tell me any interesting stories and how she got them for more cash. Her crown royal (tip) bag would be stuffed at the end of the night.
The thought of my H going to strip club doesn't really bother me. It might've when I first started dating my H but after hearing him talk about it, I realized it's no big deal. I appreciate his honesty about when and where he goes and the fact your H is honest about it (especially knowing you don't like them) would make me believe you really don't have anything to worry or be upset about.
I also agree with the PPs-according to my H, most of the money he spends at a bachelor party goes toward entertaining the groom. Plus you have to factor in his own food & drinks, and from what I gather a lot of the tip money goes to the girls just for bringing drinks.