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Ever Sent an Email to the Wrong Person?
So we are having a surprise 60th birthday party for my MIL. SIL has been planning it and telling us how much money we owe. She wants to have it a month before her bday which is the end of August. Her actual bday is the end of Sept. And not to mention the fact that we are going to have infants but no one ever gave consideration to that.
Anyway, I digress. It's not cheap. A month ago she said $500 for me and Blair to pay and $500 for her to pay. She sends an email today saying she decided to go with this one place and it is $585 a couple. Now when we spoke about it a month ago, the price was without gratuity. And when I read her email today that is how I took it as well. Well, I am in CT today. I read the email very quickly from my blackberry and didn't realize that Blair was copied on it. So I meant to forward it to him and instead sent it to my SIL (their names are one on top of the other in my address book). And since I didn't think he was on the email all I said was (and this is a direct quote): "Your sister decided to go with the other place. It is a little more than what she said." That's it. Nothing rude. I didn't trash her. Was just stating facts.
Well, she replies and says it isn't more and blah blah blah. So Blair sends me an email and says you really put your foot in your mouth. Then he calls me and says I should have realized he was on the email and I was intentionally trying to take a jab at her. And no one sends emails to the wrong person. I am the only one he knows that has ever done that. I know people that have done this and said things that were horrible. I honestly don't feel bad for saying what I said because there was nothing rude in there. I was forwarding him an email I didn't think he was on.
He never stands up for me, ever. Not with his family or his friends. I always stand up for him. My parents aren't happy with him right now and I stand up for him. Ever since we found out we are having girls, he has completely detached himself from this pg. He has told me that he is not excited. And I don't want people to think poorly of him, so of course I keep it all to myself. For once, I want to be the wife whose husband isn't trying to put her down or think the worst. I am human. I make mistakes. I know I'm not perfect.
Re: Ever Sent an Email to the Wrong Person?
I have accidentally sent an email to the wrong person and it was MUCH worse than what you sent to your SIL. It wasn't mean at all, like you said it was two sentences of facts.
I think the other issue is with Blair...it sounds like you need to have a talk with him. I know I would be hurt and upset if MH told me he wasn't excited about us having a baby or babies for that matter. Especially after what you guys went through.
First off, EVERYONE has sent an email to the wrong person before. For example, there are two people who work for a company I do business for with the same name. I meant to send an email to J #1 about something but it went to J #2. J2 shouldn't have known ANYTHING about what I sent...it happens. Everyone laughed about it after it hit me that I had done it. It happens. You did nothing wrong!
Second, what you said wasn't rude. You weren't taking a jab. You stated the facts - she decided to go with the more expensive place. You didn't say "Your evil sister decided that she wanted to squeeze more money from us and is making us pay a lot more than we had talked about!" You did nothing wrong!
Third, I think that maybe you and Blair need some sort of external help. If he's detached himself from your babies - the babies the two of you created - then that's not fair to you OR to the twins. Plus if he won't stand up for his wife, what kind of example does that give TO your babies? I'm sure Blair is a great guy - otherwise you would not have married him - but even the greatest of guys and the greatest of couples sometimes need to seek external help. You can't do it all by yourself.
I hope I didn't overstep my bounds by saying that...**hugs**
I"ve sent emails to the wrong person, in fact i sent an email to my ex MIL that I intended for my ex, it was not a nice email, I basically called him out for the dead beat waste of space that he is, of course my very sweet exMIL who I love dearly was really hurt, not only because her son is a dead beat waste of space but because I, who she thinks can do no wrong, used every profanity in the book directed at her son.
That being said, Blair should realize that you, his wife, who he should trust to tell him the truth, would not intentially try to start something with his sister. I don't think what you wrote back was rude at all, you simply stated a fact and opps it went to his sister. He really needs to figure out that you need his support, now more then ever. Being pregnant is difficult enough, I know how it is to feel alone and un-supported in it and it should not be that way. I think you need to sit down and have a little heart to heart about how hurtful it is to you and how you need his involvement and support on this. ((hugs)) I'm sure it will all be ok.
I'll start by giving you big hugs.
I've sent a few emails to the wrong people, always inserting my foot firmly in my mouth, way worse that what you said, which wasn't bad. You have a million and one things going on right now, not seeing that she was on the email is the least of your worries.
On a side note.
You and Blair really need to get on the same side, well HE needs to get on your side. When the babies come home things are tough!! It was tough with one, I can't imagine with two, I remember crying to my friend who had her daughter 6 weeks before and saying that I made a mistake marrying John b/c things were so tough, she laughed and said everyone she knows has had the same feelings and talking to my other friends that have had babies it's been the same thing. Sometime men just don't get it, I hear from John still that somethings mommys are jus better at, it makes me so mad I could throat punch him :-) I'm not sure what you can do for him to see that he needs to be on your side, but you guys really do need to work on it.
I truly believe that when he sets his eyes on the girls his whole attitude will change. I have to say to that John was pretty distant about my pregnancy, he never really got excited about anything. Afterwards he said that the whole thing scared him, that he was worried about me, about Cate and I guess that was he way of dealing with it, freaking men!
Going to talk to a counselor doesn't mean you're crazy.
I wish he understood that. I think he has a lot to deal with...but, unfortunately, he has to WANT to deal with it in order to deal with it effectively.
Have you thought of going to someone on your own? Just so you can vent out your frustrations? It's not a bad idea.
Mandy took my thoughts.
Except to add that this makes me want to come out there and do the "Ring the doorbell, crotch punch" thing we'd discussed a few weeks back.
Oh! Should we get out our ninja outfits???
I have been seeing someone for a couple months now. I realized the benefits after my ex and I split up. I don't think without help sorting through things, I would have ever been able to trust anyone again. I completely agree with you, it absolutely doesn't mean you are crazy.
LOL!!!! That just made me laugh really hard.
I have definitely sent an email to the wrong person before...plenty of times!
I agree with everything Mandy said and I hope you guys are able to get on the same page and work things out. {{HUGS}}
Mandy, I'm totally ninja suit ready. I knew letting Jillian kick my asss every day was worth it!
I'm pretty smoking again. LOL
Kristi, this is kind of based off of my priorities/beliefs (woman first, wife second, then mom, but responsible for the children at all times). But here are my add'l 2?: you, at this point, have the right to do whatever it takes for the health and wellness of yourself and your babies. If Blairs cannot contribute to that and refuses to get ASSISTANCE in coming to terms with it, you have every right to throat punch him or call in the Nestie Ninjas to do your dirty work for you.