May 2007 Weddings
MrsAK2RI
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
opinions: hubs job
my wonderful husband who i love dearly, is going through a mid life crisis at 29, granted he got out of the military and took a job that he sort of likes, but does not love, but it pays the bills and offers great benifits, but now he wants to apply to be a corrections officer, this scares the hell out of me. I've already put up with one job where his life was on the line while he was in the Army. I'm trying to be supportive but I just don't know that I can be, do you think I'm out of line if I tell him I don't want him to apply?
Re: opinions: hubs job
My brother is a corrections officer (formerly Army, now Army reserves). I realize that's not the same as YH, though. Mandy??? MANDY??? (I'm thinking she's got the best insight here.)
Here's the way I look at it: if you knew there was a shot he'd be working in the military or similar role when you met/married him, you kind of have to learn to suck it up now. If this type of role wasn't on the table as an option then, THEN you certainly have every right to bring it up and discuss your concerns with him.
I have NO FEAR whatsoever of my brother working in a maximum security prison because... the chances of him getting seriously injured there are less than him driving the 2 miles home. (Truly, at work, he's ON GUARD every moment he's there. He THRIVES off it and I have so much faith in his ability. He's also got a partner with him at all times; he's never mentioned he needed the partner, but has had to step in and assist his (small, female) partner since the inmates treat her obviously differently.) It does get a little frightening when you see on the news that the prison was in full lockdown for XX hours because of a rowdy prisoner. But my brother can handle himself; his wife KNEW he was in this kind of work before they married and she keeps herself calm with her faith and knowing how capable he is.
Well I don't think you're out of line telling him your concerns with him applying for the job. Especially since it's a line of work that could effect your whole family if something were to happen.
I remember when my dad decided to become a fire fighter (after he retired from his first job) and we had a big family meeting about it because my sister and I were scared what could possibly happen to him while he was on the job (I think it's from watching Backdraft too many times when I was little).
Hi! Ok, let's see...where to start.
First off, the job of a CO, depending on where he works, is actually one of the safest in law enforcement. the prision riots that we hear about on the news are actually so few and far between that the news makes a HUGE deal out of them when they happen (and they should, but then it scares civilians). His life really wouldn't be on the line in that position. Plus, with his military experience he would probably have the opportunity to go into a position higher ranking than the entry level COs - which would put him in a safer position to begin with. And if there were no upper level positions available, he'd probably be one of the first to be promoted.
Second, the benefits. State benefits are awesome. I was just telling someone the other day how excited I was about our health insurance which is second only to tricare. I didn't realize how good those benefits were. Oh, and the life insurance opportunities are great (we're going to pay very little to have us both covered with life insurance).
It was REALLY hard for me when MH decided to be a cop. Cops get shot at all the time (not so much here, but it does happen). But I had to put his needs first - he wanted to do it and he felt like he needed to do it. Besides, he could be killed or hurt just as easily by a drunk driver or robber....sometimes we aren't in control.
He was in the Army when i met him, but I told him I would not date him if it was his intention to stay in, it was not the life I wanted for myself or my children, he assured me he was not re-enlisting when his time was up, and he actually was medically discharged 6 months early.
What scares me about the corrections thing is that these people have all day to sit around and think about how to potentially hurt people, my husband would have to get tested for HIV/AIDS every few months, which of course could put myself or our children at risk, I'm just on the fence, i want to be supportive, but I'm apprehensive, he won't apply without my blessing, I guess we just need to talk about it a little more. I really feel in my heart he would excell at it and I would be angry at myself if I told him not to at least give it a shot. The thing is I know he'll get it if he applies, he was a medic in the Army and has more training then they require, if you read the requirments you're basically reading my husbands resume, that and he is related a couple of detectives / correction officers.
I think that you are kind of letting the "what ifs" get in the way of making a decision. The thing with the HIV/AIDS. We know how it's transmitted. As long as YH doesn't have an open wound around an inmate with an open wound, you have nothing to worry about. Plus, sometimes the testing is as much for the safety of the inmates as it is for the COs - they don't want a CO bringing it in because of how things spread.
I think you should tell him the thought of it is scary because you will worry about him (which is exactly what I told MH). But if it's what he really wants, he should explore it further. You never know, after he explores it he may say it's not for him.
Heather, I agree wholeheartedly with Mandy on the What Ifs. Yes, they're possible. BUT... there are so many What Ifs in life overall. What If someone runs a red light and t-bones him on his way home from his seemingly safe job? What If someone crosses the median on their commute home while you and the fam are going somewhere?
You don't let those kinds of things stop you from ever leaving the house, right? So you need to see if the What Ifs that you're concerned about where this CO position comes into play would stop you from YH applying.
(Also, applying doesn't necessarily guarantee he'd get it, or even an interview mean he's offered it. Now's the time to start the conversation, but you don't necessarily HAVE to come to a decision this very second.)