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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Has anyone else lost a parent at a young age?
Just wondering if anyone is in the same boat as me.... My father died
right before my second birthday from an accident... Of course I have
always missed having a father but since the babies were born I get so
freaked out. DH went away for the weekend and I started crying when he
left... I am so afraid that something will happen to him. I also get
upset when we leave the babies with his parents because I am afraid
that something may happen to us and then I get all upset too...Anyone else feel this way too? Any suggestions to get over it?
Re: Has anyone else lost a parent at a young age?
Your fears are understandable, given the circumstances. I didn't lose a parent at a young age, but stories like this give you a reality check to not take people for granted. We only have so much control over what happens in our lives and the man upstairs controls the rest.
I guess, along with what the pp said, you could talk to a therapist if you are getting a lot of anxiety.
I didn't lose a parent early, but I still have the same types of fears. I still get upset over leaving home and I worry that something might happen to DH or I when we're apart. I think it's a pretty natural fear to have. It helps me to talk about it.
If your aniexty is really affecting you then a therapist could be helpful or at least a good friend to listen.
i think about often (and i dont think it's a bad thing) ...
my dad died of a heart attack at 33 when i was 4 and my sister 11 months old. i think of how much i love my husband and cannot imagine how my mom lost the love of her life. i have no children of my own yet, but i know that is how my mom made it through - raising my sister and i and we have a wonderful relationship because of that.
i think it's a natural fear - especially since you've experienced death so young. i am terrified of death and terrified of death at an early age because of my experience - but i do not feel i have to seek out therapy because of it - in fact it's probably made me a stronger woman. the way i "get over it" is my strong belief in that "things happen for a reason" - and that might not be the suggestion you want to hear but that's what has pushed me through.
ps. sorry about your dad. sometimes i really wish i got to know mine - he seemed like a fun guy.
I feel like this too! I worry that something will happen to me or Dh when we are apart from each other. I get very nervous between 9:00pm and 10:00pm because that is when DH is driving to work. I figure if I don't get a call by 10:30 from his work then he is there and I don't have to worry.
I didn't lose a parent, but lost an aunt and three of my grandparents in a very short time span starting when I was 5. Growing up I always felt like I dealt with death and the realities of life so much better because of that, but as an adult it has only turned to anxiety. A few years ago DH was on a business trip in Texas and was involved in a horrible accident. He was basically pushed across multiple lanes, hit several times and then went into oncoming traffic and under a semi-truck. The police couldn't believe that he made it out with nothing more than bruises and scratches. After that, I had a horrible fear/anxiety when I couldn't find anyone in my family, meaning that they didn't pick up their cell phone the first time. It really started to affect me and I would become so anxious when I knew DH was on the road.
In the past year, I've gotten better (don't worry, I'm still a worrier) but I really focused on the fact that DH was ok and the fact that instead of being in the small rental car that the company had ordered, he had demanded a truck. So I believe that things happen for a reason, but I try to remained focused on the positive parts and that for my own well being, I simply can't worry about everyone ALL the time like I was.
I guess this only relates in some small way to your situation--but finding relief that he is ok in the present and talking about it may relieve some of those fears. I also think that it is natural to a degree, especially when you have an event from your past. ?