February 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Dilemma/vent
ok so a while ago I posted something about DH and I possibly going up to Point Pleasant to go visit one of his friends for the weekend. Well I'm not able to get off that weekend at Macys cause someone else is on vacay that weekend. I told Dh this and he's still wanting to go even though I can't. So I'm like torn, yeah I want him to go see his friends cause that would be fun for him but at the same time, we haven't gone on any sort of trip let alone a HM since forever. I don't know what to do. I feel bad telling him no cause I guess I don't think it's fair to me but at the same time I feel like he'll be missing out on a big thing seeing his friends. BLAH IDK what to do. Like last night I was like ok just go, but when I told him that I was like fighting back tears cause I didn't want to tell him that. He said we would talk it about more because it's a ways off. What would ya'll do?
Re: Dilemma/vent
That's very true CARRIE!!!!
I guess another one of my concerns is that the trip is 18 hours long. And yes the man is giong to be driving up there straight. I've driven 13 hours straight by myself and not had a problem, I don't know about him though. I'm sure he could handle it and he would pull over when he needed to but I still worry....gaaah i'm a worry wart!!! cause if it was both us going we would be switching off and now that is not the case.
Oh Meg
I think if you talk about it more... is there a way you could call in sick that weekend, or would they already have it in their records that you had asked for it off? (that's definitely not the best advice).
Is there anyone else at work who could cover for you? anyone you could switch with?
On the flip side, is there anyone he could drive up there with? I'm sure he'd be smart about it and take enough stops to get out and stretch.
*hugs*
I know it sucks to be apart, especially when he's gone for something fun and not something for work,?
I know it will be hard on a number of levels and it really, really sucks that you can't go but, honestly, I'd suck it up and tell him to go and have a great time. I'm sure that this whole lay-off thing has been very stressful on both of you and this time with his friends may be helpful to him.
I agree with Carrie to have the discussion that the next trip that comes up/gets planned NEEDS to be for the both of you.
{{{{HUGS}}}}
Canon 50D, Canon 50mm f/1.4, Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8, Speedlite 430EX II
Thank you ladies, I really appreciate your thoughts and opinions on this.
I think one of my hangups is the fact that we haven't done any trip or anything together since before and after we've been married. I don't think it would bother me as much if we already had. I know I'm proabbly telling him to go in hopes that he won't cause he feels bad for me, either way it sux for both of us. God, now this 2nd job is totally affecting us and even though it's helping us, I'm totally resenting it. This is just totally not fair and _damn I'm sound like a whiney brat....
Jen, your right it would probably do him some good to get out and go see his friends and stuff with everything that's been going on.
I don't know how to tell him to go and seriously mean it and seriously whole heartedly be happy for him to go when I know my heart doesn't feel 100% happy about it??
Megan - I don't think you need to be wholeheartedly happy that he is going at all! Marriage also means compromise and sacrifice. Nothing will be gained by hiding your feelings but, neither will holding him back from the trip IMO.
How about something like this:
"You know how badly I wanted to do this trip together and it hurts that I can't do it. At the same, time, I know you need this too and I do want you to go and enjoy yourself. As soon as things have stabilized around here, it's very important to me that we plan a trip just for the two of us."
Canon 50D, Canon 50mm f/1.4, Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8, Speedlite 430EX II