February 2009 Weddings
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MIL Mothers day?

I asked DH what we are going to get his mom for mothers day. He said I don't know, i'll ask Jeremy- his brother....I said, well don't you think since we are married that we should get her something as a couple, and then Jeremy can get her something?? I don't want to leave jeremy out in the cold by himself, but Chris & I are a family now, and I just think at some point the gift giving/sharing thing should end. I mean if we were buying something extravagant like a cruise or something okay, then we could all share that.... DH did not agree...he's like NO, we are all her kids and we can all go in on something.....i dropped it.

But what do ya'll think?    I am thinking about going to CVS/Walgreens and making a little photo album of wedding pictures for his mom & mammaw. That is not something that we could all "share"... So I don't know. His mom is a truck driver, she is not girly, she doesn't want to go get a pedi/mani, or a massage.... & I am not really close with her. we "tolerate" each other, but thats about the extent of our relationship. So im really at a loss about what we should do for her.

http://lifeisbeachykeenblog.wordpress.com

Re: MIL Mothers day?

  • DH got his mom a card and even though she normally doesnt like flowers, apparently she sent him an email with some pics of flowers she liked so he ordered those for her. We are also getting her a set of golf clubs.DH is an only child so we have none of those issues.?

    ?

    I think if he wants to go in on something together with his brother, I think thats cool, and you can also do a small photo album, thats something more from you, and your hubby. ?

    ?

    ~Jenny~
  • I can totally see your point, that would annoy me too unless you were going in for some big gift like you said.   However I think the photo album is such a sweet idea that could be from both of you and a nice card.  If DH really wants to do a gift that includes his brother also then I guess I would let it go.  I think my DH would sometimes do the "together" gifts for his mom with his sisters but not since we have been together.  I have this thing about being totally independant from them too.....so I get it.    Good luck!
  • I think joint gifts are okay generally but, you're right about the wedding pics.  If you'd like that to be your gift then clearly it will just be from the two of you.

    I got MIL a card from us and we'll pick up flowers for her that morning.  She gets really annoyed when we buy her gifts ("Don't spend your money on me!", etc.).  I've also offered to cook dinner that night to give her a break.

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  • Yeah, that's tough. I think the picture book sounds sweet though. And you could still go in with DH's bro if he insisted.

    I am also at a loss. DH's mom generally gets mad about gifts unless it's something she specfically wants. (One year DH got her a strawberry plant because she loves strawberries and loves to garden. Well, she yelled at him for weeks about how rude it was that he got her something that involved work. "Why don't you just get me dish soap and a rag if you're going to get me a plant I'll have to weed and water, etc." was the response to that gift. (I am truly serious) I know she does like to garden, but she is just an indecisive, unstable person much of the time... grr...

    So... I am worried about picking something out, but I feel the need to get something. (the only gift I feel comfortable getting her is the swavorski crystal ornamanet for each year at christmas because that's what she wants.) Any ideas???

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  • lol goodness... Well, would she appreciate a massage, or a mani/pedi? I would say something that focuses on her(i know mothers day is about the mother but..)....since your FIL has cancer, i'm sure she spends alot of her time focused on him, and taking care of him. ...Do you get along w/ her very well?? Maybe you could hav ea girls day where you do some kind of pampering thing, or go to lunch or something...is she that kind of woman?   That would never work for MIL...but maybe for yours?

    http://lifeisbeachykeenblog.wordpress.com
  • How old is his brother?  I don't see anything wrong with going in on a joint gift if he is younger and/or in school.  My sister is in Med School and 23 years old.  I always ask her if she wants to go in on a present for our mom.  Her answer is usually no, but I always tell her to let me know if she needs help.  If he is older and/or supporting himself working full time.  I think he should be able to fend for himself.  Unless, like you said, you were going in on a big present. 
  • His brother is 25. He is actually graduating from our local Community College tonight, he works full time, and lives at home w/ his mom & grandmother.....

    I don't mind splitting a gift with him... its just that I feel as a married couple we should be doing something for his mom, and his brother should do something for her as well...

    Maybe i'm just being silly.

    http://lifeisbeachykeenblog.wordpress.com
  • Thanks for the feedback Jena. My MIL is just hard to spend too much tie with because she wants to talk CONSTANTLY about things I don't want to know whenever I'm near her:) I would say I get along with her, but better if I see her less. Maybe she'd like a massage.... however I have a feeling she would find a way to complain about it if any little thing didn't go well with it. Both DH and my FIL have given up getting her anything because she'll complain about it, so I really do feel the need to get something. She's the ultimate hard person to buy for. I'll let you guys know what I end up doing.
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  • Ohhh Mother in Laws, Gotta love 'em! Right?

    Does your MIL have a little album of your wedding pictures? ...since my MIL is a truck driver I thought she could keep her album in her truck with her..not that she is going to bust it out and show other drivers, but she'll just have pics of us with her... Would your MIL like something like that? Something she could keep in her purse, or in the car, or at her work, where she could say OH OH OH!!! I must show you pictures of my Son & New (wonderful) wife!..... =) 

    http://lifeisbeachykeenblog.wordpress.com
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