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MOH from hell
MOH From Hell -- Suggestions Anyone?
Hey Ladies,
This is my first time writing and I'm in a bit of a bind. I asked my best friend of 8 years to be my MOH for my upcoming wedding back when I was first engaged in July. In Nov, I had a formal engagement party which she was "unable to attend" due to the fact that she did not have the money (she lives in FL) and her parents would not help her (yes, she's a grown adult). The issue I have is a few days after the party she calls me up to say she's thinking of coming ice skating in NYC with her roommate around the end of Dec/Jan!! To top it off, she also had the nerve to ask my fiance (who works in the diamond district) if he could get her a discount on a $2000 watch!! She hasn't so much as asked me one question about the wedding nor I have received any type of congratulatory jesture from her behalf. I wrote her a long email about this and all she did was cry about how sorry she was for offending me -- never once explaining why she acted this way or what she plans on doing as far as being my MOH. All I do is listen to her go on about her own life and I'm tired of it. Would you kick her to the curb or give her a second chance?
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MOH From Hell -- Suggestions Anyone?-->
Seriously? Does this "problem" need to be addressed every hour? You're being a b*tch. Her only job is to show up at your wedding and look nice. It's not her job to hold your hand while you plan your wedding and fly across country for your parties.
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MOH From Hell -- Suggestions Anyone?-->
As harsh as this seems, but it is none of your business what she spends her money on.
Your wedding is in 2009 and you asked your BP way too early. Now you must deal with her drama. Y
ou have no good reasons for kicking her out except that she is not as excited about your wedding as you.
If you do plan on kicking her out, be prepared to lose a friend.
Knot Planning Bio Wedding Bio
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MOH From Hell -- Suggestions Anyone?-->
Wow, someone sure didn't get the answers she was hoping to hear.
Sorry, princess. Everyone who replied has pretty much agreed that you're being a biitch. I would take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror before assuming that everyone here is just out to get you.
And YOU'RE the one who asked for opinions ... so next time, be a woman and have the ovaries to admit that you might be wrong.
WE'RE THE DEVILS!!!!!
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MOH From Hell -- Suggestions Anyone?-->
Oh, and since you seem to have misplaced your oh-so-ladylike response:
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First of all, I think you need to get a life and stop blogging on theknot when you're already married. Secondly, I do not think I am being out of line at all. I'm sorry that you were born without an ounce of sensitivity and merely expected your MOH to be a robot on stage next to you. The last time I checked, there are certain reactions most sincere people have when their best friend is getting married -- including being remotely happy for them and excited to be a part of it. Get a life and try not to be such a miserable b***h -- it doesn't suit you well and I'd hate to see your end up on match.com next year.
WE'RE THE DEVILS!!!!!
I don't know if you've noticed, but at least half the people on here are already married. You asked for advice, I gave it to you. You're being too demanding and expecting too much from her. Maybe she's acting like this because of the way you treat her. I didn't ask anything of my bridal party, yet they still helped me out a lot, were excited for me and threw me a party, hmmmm, I wonder how they accomplished this without me giving them a list of things to do.
well, w/ that pleasant reaction, I can see why you have such a caring, thoughtful friend for your MOH.....
Duplicate Thread:
Oh, good heavens. She is not a "MOH from hell" - you're just overreacting. MAJORLY. So calm the eff down, first of all.
She is not required to attend your engagement party, especially if it requires flying in. Maybe she couldn't get time off in November. Even if she could, engagement parties are boring and dull if you're not the guest of honor.
If she comes to NYC for a personal holiday, that's none of your business. You can't hold that against her.
If your FI doesn't want to give her a discount, then he can politely say no. That has nothing to do with being your MOH.
She's not required to fawn all over you and your wedding. That's not something you can "kick her to the curb" for.
You seriously wrote her an e-mail about this shiit? And, good gosh, you had the balls demand an explanation from this girl who's done absolutely nothing wrong here. She doesn't owe you an explanation for any of this! It's her life, so butt out.
And your freaking wedding isn't even until fall 2009. Cut her some slack, bridezilla!!!
WE'RE THE DEVILS!!!!!
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MOH From Hell -- Suggestions Anyone?-->
I see that you're 22, and I think a bride's expectations of her MOH & BMs at that age are a bit out of line with reality.
HOnestly, your MOH did nothing wrong. See Irish's post above. And at 22, she more than likely is just not on the same bridal mindset that you are on. What is it that you are expecting from her? Her only 'responsibility' is to buy the dress you pick out and be at the wedding on time. Anything else is gravy.
Kate ~ Mommy to Matthew 3/29/07
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MOH From Hell -- Suggestions Anyone?-->
WOW!!!! Fall of 2009 and you're this demanding all ready?! I don't think iv'e ever done a "congratulatory gesure" for anyone's wedding. What exactly are you expecting?
You need to really re-evaluate YOUR expectations, espeically this far out. Your wedding is only the center of YOUR world right now. Honestly- she has a solid YEAR before she needs to start worrying about your wedding.
And to be clear- being your MOH is an HONOR, not a job. All she HAS to do is buy a dress and show up for your wedding. It will be wonderful if she plans a shower and a b-party, but she doesn't HAVE to do either of these. And she absolutely does NOT have to help you plan your wedding. YOUR wedding, YOU Plan it.
Re: MOH from hell
Thanks everyone for your heart-felt responses. I didn't get a chance to update my profile so I'd like to mention the wedding is this summer - not in 2009. To that extent, my bridal party is very much involved in the plans - sans my MOH. IF you happen to think I'm wrong in the situation, that's fine. I appreciate your opinion but I can do without the putdowns and nasty responses. I asked if I should give her a second chance -- this wasn't an open call for your physcoanalyis.
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So, if I understand this...she's your BF for 8 years, and you want to ruin your friendship b/c she'd rather go on a trip to NY with a buddy than waste money to go to an engagement party.
Gee, you're such a good friend...can we be friends. I like controlling demanding people in my life.
News flash: She isn't as excited about your wedding as you are. Don't expect her to be! Your MOH only "duty" is to stand up with you during your wedding. Don't expect anything else from her b/c she doesn't OWE you anything else!