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Baby on the brain....
DH has baby on the brain syndrome. I do not. I am not ready for a baby. For one, we could never have a child in the house we live in now. There is absolutely no room for a kid, there is barely enough room for us, much less a baby and all the crap they need! and two, i'm just not ready. Im not ready to give up our weekends, our nights, our lives. I know that we could still have a life, but it wouldn't be the same. I want to finish school, i'm going to do billing/coding so its not that long of a program but I'm not done yet.
He has dreams about "our daughter, Jordyn".....Yes, she even has a name. He has dreamed about her several times. He tells people about her.. I don't know what to think about it. It kind of gets me aggravated, bc he knows I'm not ready yet, and I don't really even like to talk about it yet. ...
Re: Baby on the brain....
Is there a really big age difference between the two of you? Have you talked about it with him?
I've had baby brain since like forever. LOL. I've always wanted to be a mom, but I am like you, our place is way too small, and we have things to do before we want kids. I would have thought DH would have wanted to have kids sooner (he will be 40 in July, and I'll turn 28 two weeks later) but we both agree that there are things we want before we think about kids (even though we both want them and we too have names picked out)
Does your DH have concerns about waiting? I'm not sure how old you are, but I know that a lot of people are worried that once they turn 30 they will have issues getting pregnant. If he is just concerned about your health, or the fact that TTC could take a while, maybe you need to talk to him about it.?
On the plus side tho, it is nice to know that he wants to have kids. (I think a lot of guys need some convincing) I bet he'll be an awesome dad.?
Jena - I agree that talking to him about concerns like age, how long TTC will take, etc. is a good thing. I totally understand your point of view though, as I am NOT ready for a kid yet either because our current home remodeling, our fairly young age and even our lifestyle is just not right for a baby. I AM a bit worried that DH doesn't seem to want kids for like, 10 years. I'm thinking more like 5:) Just make sure you guys keep talking about it so you are both on the same page. How does he feel about giving up evenings and weekends out?
P.S. Did you catch your red fish this weekend??
I am 24. There are no health concerns that I know....He already thinks he can't have kids they call it the "our last name curse"....its ridiculous if you ask me...All of the men in their family are adopted and none of them have had kids....so DH thinks he won't be able to have kids.... ( i dont know if he actually believes this or if he just messes with me)....
I am glad he wants kids bc I do eventually want kids, but i'm just concerned with having them now... I mean financially we are not ready- and i know if we wait till we are financially able we might never have kids...but i mean there is no room in our house for a child so its just not the right time. I really want to wait until we buy a house....
and i'm mentally just not ready.
Lisa, No I didn't catch my red fish =( Oh well! We are going fishing for a week in July and its supposed to be a big red fish spot so i'm hoping my red fish will be there!!!
I think he has conflicting feelings. He enjoys being able to go fishing whenever he wants.
He is not pressuring me or anything, but he mentions babies alot.
I'm so glad to hear that many of you also think it's OKAY to wait to have kids. We may be ready in 2 years or 7 but it's a big, life changing decision. Shell - yes I've seen kids negatively effect relationships too, so that scares me a bit. (But also many wonderful relationships of people who have kids too.)
I know that timing might never be "Perfect" and some people say that you'll never have kids if you wait for enough time, money, the right house, etc. but I also believe there's no sense in rushing it.
Our plan is that our house for sure must be more livable and close to finished. Then, we'll re-visit the topic!
I really want to finish school, but that is not for 2 years, and I think that is going to be to long for DH. But i insist that we have a house before we try to TTC. We already know where we want to move, and we know the house, we just have to get some stuff paid down/off and then next year we plan on moving over there- i hope....there is just SO much to think about! it boggles my brain!!!
I think it is great to wait, especially if you are afraid that you are not ready (either financially or mentally) for kids. I am definitely in that group - the not mentally prepared to have kids group. I also think that is is perfectly reasonable to wait until you are done with school, although I have some amazing classmates with kids in med school I think it would be so tough!
We want kids eventually, but not anytime soon. There is absolutely no way that I could have a kid during my intern year (working 80hrs a week like a maniac for like 8 months of the year). Unless I get knocked up. I'd like to have a kid sometime right after I ended residency or while doing a fellowship, but that is probaby 4 years from now. I think then I would be 29 or 30, which is fine with me. Besides that, I couldn't imagine having a kid while DH and I are living apart...